TED演講 :愛情這件小事

　　I and my colleagues Art Aron and Lucy Brown and others, have put 37 people who are madly in love into a functional MRI brain scanner. 17 who were happily in love, 15 who had just been dumped, and we're just starting our third experiment: studying people who report that they're still in love after 10 to 25 years of marriage. So, this is the short story of that research.

　　我和阿爾特.阿倫、露西.布朗還有其他同事 對37位處在戀愛不同階段的人的大腦 進(jìn)行了核磁共振測試， 其中17位正享受愛情帶來的幸福，而15位則剛剛被甩。 我們剛剛開始第三項(xiàng)實(shí)驗(yàn)： 研究那些在10到25年后 仍然處在愛戀中的人們， 接下來是關(guān)于這項(xiàng)研究的一些介紹。

　　In the jungles of Guatemala, in Tikal, stands a temple. It was built by the grandest Sun King, of the grandest city-state, of the grandest civilization of the Americas, the Mayas. His name was Jasaw Chan K'awiil. He stood over six feet tall. He lived into his 80s, and he was buried beneath this monument in 720 AD. And Mayan inscriptions proclaim that he was deeply in love with his wife. So, he built a temple in her honor, facing his. And every spring and autumn, exactly at the equinox, the sun rises behind his temple, and perfectly bathes her temple with his shadow. And as the sun sets behind her temple in the afternoon, it perfectly bathes his temple with her shadow. After 1,300 years, these two lovers still touch and kiss from their tomb.

　　在危地馬拉的叢林深處的提卡爾，矗立著一座神廟。 它由史上最顯貴的太陽王建造， 位于最壯麗的城邦， 代表著美洲最偉大的古文明——瑪雅。 這位君王，名曰Jasaw Chan K'awiil， 他體型魁梧， 并活到了八十余歲， 在公元720葬于提卡爾神廟。 按照瑪雅碑文的說法， 他深愛著他的妻子。 他為妻子修建了一座神廟，正對著提卡爾神廟。 每到春分或秋分， 太陽在提卡爾神廟后升起， 而他妻子的神廟便浸浴在拖長的影子中。 到了下午落日之時， 他妻子的神廟的影子也會完全遮罩在提卡爾神廟上。 直到1300年后的今天， 這對戀人的陵墓依舊互相擁抱、親吻。

　　Around the world, people love. They sing for love, they dance for love, they compose poems and stories about love. They tell myths and legends about love. They pine for love, they live for love, they kill for love, and they die for love. As Walt Whitman once said, he said, "Oh, I would stake all for you." Anthropologists have found evidence of romantic love in 170 societies. They've never found a society that did not have it.

　　世界各地的人都有不同的愛情。 人們?yōu)閻矍楦璩藗円驉矍槠鹞瑁?人們通過詩賦和故事來抒發(fā)愛情。 人們講述關(guān)于愛情的神話和傳說。 人們渴望愛情，因愛而生， 人們?yōu)閻壑?，甚至為愛而死?沃爾特.惠特曼曾說過： "我愿意為你賭上我的一切!" 人類學(xué)家在170個社會中發(fā)現(xiàn)了愛情存在的證據(jù)。 愛情普遍地存在于每一個人類社會。

　　But love isn't always a happy experience. In one study of college students, they asked a lot of questions about love, but the two that stood out to me the most were, "Have you ever been rejected by somebody who you really loved?" And the second question was, "Have you ever dumped somebody who really loved you?" And almost 95 percent of both men and women said yes to both. Almost nobody gets out of love alive.

　　但愛情并不總是愉快的經(jīng)歷。 在一項(xiàng)針對大學(xué)生的調(diào)查中， 他們提出了很多關(guān)于愛情的問題， 其中的兩個特別讓我印象深刻， 一個是"你曾經(jīng)被你真心愛著的人拒絕過嗎?" 而另一個則是 "你曾經(jīng)拒絕過真心愛著你的人嗎?" 對于這兩個問題，有95%的人作出了肯定的答復(fù)。 要活著走出愛情幾乎是不可能的。

　　So, before I start telling you about the brain, I want to read for you what I think is the most powerful love poem on Earth. There's other love poems that are, of course, just as good, but I don't think this one can be surpassed. It was told by an anonymous Kwakiutl Indian of southern Alaska to a missionary in 1896, and here it is. I've never had the opportunity to say it before. "Fire runs through my body with the pain of loving you. Pain runs through my body with the fires of my love for you. Pain like a boil about to burst with my love for you, consumed by fire with my love for you.

　　那么，在開始講述關(guān)于大腦的事情前， 我要讀一段 在我看來最富深情的情詩。 當(dāng)然，很多情詩都很不錯， 但我認(rèn)為它們都無法超越這首。 在1896年的南阿拉斯加，一位不知名的夸扣特爾印第安人 把它講述給了一名傳教士。 這是我第一次當(dāng)眾讀它。 "愛你之痛如熊熊烈焰穿透我的身體; 對你如火一般的熱戀讓疼痛貫穿我的身體。 痛楚如沸水，飽含我對你的愛， 愛的火焰將其蒸發(fā)殆盡。

　　I remember what you said to me. I am thinking of your love for me. I am torn by your love for me. Pain and more pain -- where are you going with my love? I am told you will go from here. I am told you will leave me here. My body is numb with grief. Remember what I said, my love. Goodbye, my love, goodbye." Emily Dickinson once wrote, "Parting is all we need to know of hell." How many people have suffered in all the millions of years of human evolution? How many people around the world are dancing with elation at this very minute? Romantic love is one of the most powerful sensations on Earth.

　　我仍記得你對我說的話， 我想著你對我的愛， 它將我的軀體撕裂。 疼痛，更多的疼痛， 你要把我的愛帶至何處? 你對我說，你將從這里出發(fā); 你對我說，你將在這兒把我遺棄。 我因此悲痛，因此失去知覺。 帶上我的只言片語，我的愛人! 再見，吾愛，再見! 艾米莉.狄金森曾寫道， "人因離別而品嘗地獄" 在人類百萬余年的進(jìn)化過程中， 有多少人曾遭受這樣的痛苦? 而此時此刻， 世界各地又有多少人在盡情跳舞? 愛情是世上最有力的感情。

　　So, several years ago, I decided to look into the brain and study this madness. Our first study of people who were happily in love has been widely publicized, so I'm only going to say a very little about it. We found activity in a tiny, little factory near the base of the brain called the ventral tegmental area. We found activity in some cells called the A10 cells, cells that actually make dopamine, a natural stimulant, and spray it to many brain regions.

　　所以多年之前，我決定研究 大腦中的這種狂熱的情感。 我們第一項(xiàng)對處在幸福愛戀中的人們的研究 得到了很好地宣傳， 因此我只簡短地介紹一下。 我們發(fā)現(xiàn)在大腦底部附近有一塊活躍的微小的區(qū)域 ——腹側(cè)背蓋區(qū)。 其中活躍的細(xì)胞稱為ApEn細(xì)胞。 實(shí)際上，這種細(xì)胞制造了多巴胺——一種天然的興奮劑， 并將它散發(fā)到大腦的眾多區(qū)域。

　　Indeed, this part, the VTA, is part of the brain's reward system. It's way below your cognitive thinking process. It's below your emotions. It's part of what we call the reptilian core of the brain, associated with wanting, with motivation, with focus and with craving. In fact, the same brain region where we found activity becomes active also when you feel the rush of cocaine.

　　準(zhǔn)確地說來，這里腹側(cè)背蓋區(qū)是大腦獎勵系統(tǒng)的一部分。 它運(yùn)作在潛意識中， 也不受情緒控制。 腹側(cè)背蓋區(qū)也是被我們稱作爬蟲類腦核的部分。 它關(guān)系到欲求、動機(jī)、 專注和渴望。 事實(shí)上，這一片區(qū)域 在可卡因癮發(fā)作時也會活躍起來。

　　But romantic love is much more than a cocaine high -- at least you come down from cocaine. Romantic love is an obsession. It possesses you. You lose your sense of self. You can't stop thinking about another human being. Somebody is camping in your head. As an eighth-century Japanese poet said, "My longing had no time when it ceases." Wild is love. And the obsession can get worse when you've been rejected.

　　但比起可卡因，愛情讓它更加活躍—— 至少你還能從可卡因中回過神來。 愛情縈繞于心，占據(jù)著你。 你失去自我意識， 不能自主地去想他 ——他一直盤踞在你腦中。 就如8世紀(jì)的一位日本詩人所說， "我的渴求永不停止。" 愛情是狂熱的。 當(dāng)你被拋棄之后，牽掛會更深。

　　So, right now, Lucy Brown and I, the neuroscientist on our project, are looking at the data of the people who were put into the machine after they had just been dumped. It was very difficult actually, putting these people in the machine, because they were in such bad shape. (Laughter) So anyway, we found activity in three brain regions. We found activity in the brain region, in exactly the same brain region associated with intense romantic love.

　　我和項(xiàng)目組中的神經(jīng)系統(tǒng)學(xué)家露西.布朗 當(dāng)下正在研究 被拋棄的人們的核磁共振測試數(shù)據(jù)。 但說服他們 進(jìn)行測驗(yàn)實(shí)在是困難， 因?yàn)樗麄冃那閷?shí)在是太糟了。 (笑) 總之，我們在大腦中發(fā)現(xiàn)了三個與之有關(guān)的區(qū)域。 我們在那塊大腦區(qū)域， 也就是腹側(cè)背蓋區(qū)， 找到了與熱戀相關(guān)的大腦活動。

　　What a bad deal. You know, when you've been dumped, the one thing you love to do is just forget about this human being, and then go on with your life -- but no, you just love them harder. As the poet Terence, the Roman poet once said, he said, "The less my hope, the hotter my love." And indeed, we now know why. Two thousand years later, we can explain this in the brain. That brain system -- the reward system for wanting, for motivation, for craving, for focus -- becomes more active when you can't get what you want. In this case, life's greatest prize: an appropriate mating partner.

　　這是多么壞的事情啊! 當(dāng)你被甩之后， 你會想著要忘掉他， 并繼續(xù)你的正常生活， 但事與愿違，你只會更愛他了。 就像羅馬詩人特倫斯曾說過的： "我的祈求越少，我的愛情便越熾烈。" 時至今日，我們知道這是為什么了。 2000年后的今天，我們能夠解釋大腦中的這一過程。 大腦中的獎賞系統(tǒng) 與欲望、動機(jī)、渴望和專注有關(guān)， 它在你不能得到你所要的時，反而變得更加活躍。 倘若如此，生命中最大的獎賞即是： 一個適當(dāng)?shù)募s會對象。

　　We found activity in other brain regions also -- in a brain region associated with calculating gains and losses. You know, you're lying there, you're looking at the picture, and you're in this machine, and you're calculating, you know, what went wrong. How, you know, what have I lost? As a matter of fact, Lucy and I have a little joke about this. It comes from a David Mamet play, and there's two con artists in the play, and the woman is conning the man, and the man looks at the woman and says, "Oh, you're a bad pony, I'm not going to bet on you." And indeed, it's this part of the brain, the core of the nucleus accumbens, actually, that is becoming active as you're measuring your gains and losses. It's also the brain region that becomes active when you're willing to take enormous risks for huge gains and huge losses.

　　我們發(fā)現(xiàn)大腦中 計算得失的區(qū)域也與愛情有關(guān)。 測試者躺在核磁共振儀中， 看著昔日愛人的照片， 然后開始回想到底是什么出錯了。 我失去了什么? 事實(shí)上，露西和我對此開過一些玩笑。 在大衛(wèi).梅米特的一部劇中， 有兩個行騙高手， 其中女士在勾引男士， 于是他看著那位女士說： "你真調(diào)皮，我是不會犯錯的。" 當(dāng)你在計算得失時， 大腦中的這部分——伏隔核的核心 變得活躍起來。 當(dāng)你要因?yàn)榈玫交蚴?而去冒巨大的風(fēng)險時， 它也會變得活躍。 L

　　Last but not least, we found activity in a brain region associated with deep attachment to another individual. No wonder people suffer around the world, and we have so many crimes of passion. When you've been rejected in love, not only are you engulfed with feelings of romantic love, but you're feeling deep attachment to this individual. Moreover, this brain circuit for reward is working, and you're feeling intense energy, intense focus, intense motivation and the willingness to risk it all to win life's greatest prize.

　　最后，我們還在一塊區(qū)域中 發(fā)現(xiàn)了與深度依戀有關(guān)的大腦活動。 難怪世界各地的人們都遭受著痛苦， 難怪我們中這么多人被負(fù)心的情人傷害 當(dāng)你被愛拋棄時， 你不僅被對愛情的渴望吞沒， 而且感到對他深深的依戀。 此外，大腦的獎賞回路開始工作， 這使得你感到強(qiáng)烈的精力，強(qiáng)烈的專注， 強(qiáng)烈的干勁，和想要不顧一切地 贏得生命中最高獎賞的愿望。

　　So, what have I learned from this experiment that I would like to tell the world? Foremost, I have come to think that romantic love is a drive, a basic mating drive. Not the sex drive -- the sex drive gets you out there, looking for a whole range of partners. Romantic love enables you to focus your mating energy on just one at a time, conserve your mating energy, and start the mating process with this single individual.

　　那么，關(guān)于這次實(shí)驗(yàn)， 我又有什么樣的體會要分享給全世界呢? 最重要的一點(diǎn)，我的結(jié)論是 愛情是人類最基本的尋求配對的沖動。 這不是性沖動——性沖動讓你尋找 能夠成為性伴侶的人。 而愛情讓你同時只對一個人產(chǎn)生配對的沖動， 并節(jié)制地使用它， 開始同他戀愛。

　　I think of all the poetry that I've read about romantic love, what sums it up best is something that is said by Plato, over 2,000 years ago. He said, "The god of love lives in a state of need. It is a need. It is an urge. It is a homeostatic imbalance. Like hunger and thirst, it's almost impossible to stamp out." I've also come to believe that romantic love is an addiction: a perfectly wonderful addiction when it's going well, and a perfectly horrible addiction when it's going poorly.

　　我腦海中浮現(xiàn)出讀過的所有關(guān)于愛情的詩篇， 其中最適合概括這一點(diǎn)的是 2000多年前的詩人柏拉圖的一首詩， "愛神棲于愛欲之國。 愛是欲求，是沖動， 是恒久的失衡。 如饑似渴，不能熄滅。" 我同樣也相信愛情讓人成癮： 愛若甜蜜，人們沉溺其中; 愛若苦澀，人們深陷其中，難以自拔。

　　And indeed, it has all of the characteristics of addiction. You focus on the person, you obsessively think about them, you crave them, you distort reality, your willingness to take enormous risks to win this person. And it's got the three main characteristics of addiction: tolerance, you need to see them more, and more, and more; withdrawals; and last, relapse. I've got a girlfriend who's just getting over a terrible love affair. It's been about eight months, she's beginning to feel better.

　　確然，愛情擁有成癮的所有特征， 你專注于他，執(zhí)念于他， 渴望得到他，并扭曲現(xiàn)實(shí)， 愿不顧一切以贏得他的愛。 成癮的三個主要特征也在愛情上得以體現(xiàn)： 首先是耐受性——你總是想要得到更多以維持最初的感覺， 而后耐受性消退，最后又復(fù)發(fā)。 我的一位女朋友剛從一段痛苦的戀情中恢復(fù)過來， 經(jīng)過了八個月，她終于好多了。

　　And she was driving along in her car the other day, and suddenly she heard a song on the car radio that reminded her of this man. And she -- not only did the instant craving come back, but she had to pull over from the side of the road and cry. So, one thing I would like the medical community, and the legal community, and even the college community, to see if they can understand, that indeed, romantic love is one of the most addictive substances on Earth.

　　這之后的一天，她正開著車， 收音機(jī)里的一首歌 讓她又想起了那個男人。 于是，瞬時的渴望充滿全身， 她控制不住情緒，把車停在路邊， 大哭了一場。 因此，我希望醫(yī)學(xué)界、 法學(xué)界和高教界 都關(guān)注到上述這一點(diǎn)： 愛情確實(shí)是世界上最讓人成癮的東西。

　　I would also like to tell the world that animals love. There's not an animal on this planet that will copulate with anything that comes along. Too old, too young, too scruffy, too stupid, and they won't do it. Unless you're stuck in a laboratory cage -- and you know, if you spend your entire life in a little box, you're not going to be as picky about who you have sex with -- but I've looked in a hundred species, and everywhere in the wild, animals have favorites. As a matter of fact ethologists know this. There are over eight words for what they call "animal favoritism:" selective proceptivity, mate choice, female choice, sexual choice.

　　我還想分享一下關(guān)于動物愛情的故事。 世界上任何一種動物 都不會饑不擇食地尋找活物進(jìn)行交配。 太老的、太年輕的、太臟的或是太蠢笨的，它們都不會選擇。 除非你把它們關(guān)在實(shí)驗(yàn)室的籠子里—— 當(dāng)然，如果你在籠子里度過一生， 也不會那么挑食了。 在調(diào)查了一百個物種后， 我發(fā)現(xiàn)野外的每一個角落，每一只動物都有各自的心之歸屬。 事實(shí)上，生態(tài)學(xué)家知道這些。 用四個詞可以概括動物各自的偏愛： 選擇性感知，配偶選擇，雌性選擇，性選擇。 這兒有三篇學(xué)術(shù)文章 涉及到了這種吸引力。

　　And indeed, there are now three academic articles in which they've looked at this attraction, which may only last for a second, but it's a definite attraction, and either this same brain region, this reward system, or the chemicals of that reward system are involved. In fact, I think animal attraction can be instant -- you can see an elephant instantly go for another elephant. And I think that this is really the origin of what you and I call "love at first sight."

　　雖然這種吸引力也許只維持一秒， 但它確實(shí)是存在的。 而且牽涉到大腦中到腹側(cè)背蓋區(qū)和獎賞系統(tǒng) (更確切的說是獎賞系統(tǒng)中的相關(guān)化學(xué)物質(zhì))。 事實(shí)上，我相信動物間的吸引力是可以即刻產(chǎn)生的—— 我們能看到，大象有時會突然被另一頭大象吸引。 我相信這就是我們所說的 "一見鐘情"的源頭。

　　People have often asked me whether what I know about love has spoiled it for me. And I just simply say, "Hardly." You can know every single ingredient in a piece of chocolate cake, and then when you sit down and eat that cake, you can still feel that joy. And certainly, I make all the same mistakes that everybody else does too, but it's really deepened my understanding and compassion, really, for all human life. As a matter of fact, in New York, I often catch myself looking in baby carriages and feeling a little sorry for the tot. And in fact, sometimes I feel a little sorry for the chicken on my dinner plate, when I think of how intense this brain system is. Our newest experiment has been hatched by my colleague, Art Aron -- putting people who are reporting that they are still in love, in a long-term relationship, into the functional MRI. We've put five people in so far, and indeed, we found exactly the same thing. They're not lying. The brain areas associated with intense romantic love still become active, 25 years later.

　　人們常問我是不是 因?yàn)檠芯繍矍樘喽鴽]了愛的興致。 這基本是不可能的。 就如同在了解一塊巧克力蛋糕中的所有成份后， 我仍然能夠品味 吃蛋糕的樂趣。 我也同樣會 犯大家都會犯的錯， 但這些經(jīng)歷加深了我的對愛情的理解， 并讓我對所有人都更有愛心。 比如，我在紐約時， ?？粗鴭雰很?yán)锏男『?，并感到一絲同情。 有時，當(dāng)想到大腦是多么富有感情， 我會對餐桌上的雞 抱有歉意。 我們最近的實(shí)驗(yàn) 由我的同事阿爾特.阿倫操作進(jìn)行， 內(nèi)容是對長期相處后仍能夠保持相戀的情侶們 進(jìn)行核磁共振測試。 至此，我們一共測試了5對這樣的情侶， 并發(fā)現(xiàn)了他們共同的特點(diǎn)。 在他們相戀25年后， 他們大腦中與熱戀相關(guān)的區(qū)域 仍然保持活躍。

　　There are still many questions to be answered and asked about romantic love. The question that I'm working on right this minute -- and I'm only going to say it for a second, and then end -- is, why do you fall in love with one person, rather than another? I never would have even thought to think of this, but Match.com, the Internet-dating site, came to me three years ago and asked me that question. And I said, I don't know. I know what happens in the brain, when you do become in love, but I don't know why you fall in love with one person rather than another. And so, I've spent the last three years on this. And there are many reasons that you fall in love with one person rather than another, that psychologists can tell you. And we tend to fall in love with somebody from the same socioeconomic background, the same general level of intelligence, the same general level of good looks, the same religious values. Your childhood certainly plays a role, but nobody knows how. And that's about it, that's all they know. No, they've never found the way two personalities fit together to make a good relationship.

　　關(guān)于愛情 還有很多未解開的迷。 現(xiàn)在我簡短地說一下 我正研究問題： 為什么你會愛上他，而不是別人? 原本我并沒有想要去思考這個問題， 但在三年前，一個約會網(wǎng)站Match.com找到我， 并問了我這個問題。 我只能說"我不知道"。 我所知道的是人們戀愛時，大腦中到底發(fā)生了什么， 但我卻不知道 為什么他就是你命中注定的愛人。 所以，這三年我都在思考這個問題。 心理學(xué)家告訴我們 一定有很多原因使你愛上他，而不是另一個人。 我們會傾向于 在同等的社會、經(jīng)濟(jì)背景， 同樣智力水平， 同等的相貌， 以及相同的宗教信仰中找到自己的愛人。 而童年的經(jīng)歷也會影響人們的愛情，但如何作用卻無人知曉。 就是這些，心理學(xué)家知道的只有這些。 而且，他們不知道在良好的關(guān)系中， 雙方的人格是如何配合的。

　　So, it began to occur to me that maybe your biology pulls you towards some people rather than another. And I have concocted a questionnaire to see to what degree you express dopamine, serotonin, estrogen and testosterone. I think we've evolved four very broad personality types associated with the ratios of these four chemicals in the brain. And on this dating site that I have created, called Chemistry.com, I ask you first a series of questions to see to what degree you express these chemicals, and I'm watching who chooses who to love. And 3.7 million people have taken the questionnaire in America.

　　因此，我開始思考 為什么我們接近這一群人，而不是其他人， 這是不是有生物上的解釋。 為此，我做了一份問卷調(diào)查， 以探明人們?nèi)绾物@現(xiàn)多巴胺、血清素、雌激素和睪丸激素的性狀。 我相信這四種物質(zhì)在大腦中的不同配比 讓人類演化出了四種非常普遍的人格類型。 所以我在Mating.com上創(chuàng)建了一個子站：Chemistry.com。 第一部分的問題 用來確認(rèn)上述四種物質(zhì)在你的大腦中是如何顯現(xiàn)性狀的。 最后網(wǎng)站記錄下是誰選擇了誰。

　　About 600,000 people have taken it in 33 other countries. I'm putting the data together now, and at some point -- there will always be magic to love, but I think I will come closer to understanding why it is you can walk into a room and everybody is from your background, your same general level of intelligence, your same general level of good looks, and you don't feel pulled towards all of them. I think there's biology to that. I think we're going to end up, in the next few years, to understand all kinds of brain mechanisms that pull us to one person rather than another.

　　總共有370萬美國人和 60萬來自其他33個國家的人做了這項(xiàng)測試。 我正在對測試數(shù)據(jù)進(jìn)行整理。 一定程度上，愛情總是神秘的， 但我相信我會逐步接近問題的答案—— 當(dāng)你走進(jìn)一間房間時， 每一個人都是和你同樣的背景， 你們處在同樣的智力水平上， 你們有同等的相貌， 但為什么你不會被所有這些人所吸引? 我認(rèn)為這一定有生物學(xué)上的解釋。 我想幾年之內(nèi) 我們就可以理解大腦 是如何讓我們找到我們唯一愛的人。

　　So, I will close with this. These are my older people. Faulkner once said, "The past is not dead, it's not even the past." Indeed, we carry a lot of luggage from our yesteryear in the human brain. And so, there's one thing that makes me pursue my understanding of human nature, and this reminds me of it. These are two women. Women tend to get intimacy differently than men do. Women get intimacy from face-to-face talking. We swivel towards each other, we do what we call the "anchoring gaze" and we talk. This is intimacy to women. I think it comes from millions of years of holding that baby in front of your face, cajoling it, reprimanding it, educating it with words. Men tend to get intimacy from side-by-side doing.

　　那樣，我就更接近答案了。 這是我的父母。 ?？思{曾說過："過去未曾消逝， 它們還留在心中。" 確實(shí)是這樣，我們把從過去帶來的大量的行李 堆放在大腦中。 我心里總存在一種力量， 讓我想要理解人性， 而這也讓我想到了這幅照片。 這是兩個女人。 女人們傾向于更親昵的言行而不像男人們那樣。 女人們從面對面的交談中獲得了親切感， 我們轉(zhuǎn)向?qū)Ψ剑?并在交談中注視著對方。 這就是女性相互理解的方式。 我想這是源于長久的進(jìn)化歲月中， 女人總是把嬰兒抱在面前， 哄他們、訓(xùn)誡他們、教導(dǎo)他們。 而男人們總是在側(cè)坐的交談中找到親切感。

　　(Laughter)

　　(笑)

　　As soon as one guy looks up, the other guy will look away.

　　當(dāng)一個人看著對方時，另一個人會望向別處。

　　(Laughter)

　　(笑)

　　I think it comes from millions of years of standing behind that -- sitting behind the bush, looking straight ahead, trying to hit that buffalo on the head with a rock.

　　我想這源自遠(yuǎn)古時期， 男人們藏在灌木叢中， 看著前方， 并想著用手中的石塊砸向野牛的頭。

　　I think, for millions of years, men faced their enemies, they sat side by side with friends. So my final statement is: love is in us. It's deeply embedded in the brain. Our challenge is to understand each other. Thank you. (Applause)

　　(笑)

　　在數(shù)萬年的人類歷史中，男人們和朋友坐在一起， 一起面對共同敵人。 所以我的主張是：愛就在我們心中。 它深深地扎根在大腦中。 理解對方是我們所追求的目標(biāo)。謝謝大家! (掌聲)