我回視著他,掙扎著不去注意他的臉,仔細地思考著,想要找到合適的解釋。當我搜腸刮肚地想著合適的話的時候,我看得出,他開始不耐煩了。他被我的沉默挫敗著,開始沉下臉來。我把手從脖子下移開,向他豎起一根手指。
"Let me think," I insisted. His expression cleared, now that he was satisfied that I was planningto answer. I dropped my hand to the table, moving my left hand so that my palms werepressed together. I stared at my hands, twisting and untwisting my fingers, as I finally spoke.
“讓我想想。”我堅持著。他的臉立刻明朗起來,他很滿意,因為我正計劃著回答他的問題。我把手放到桌子上,伸出左手,然后掌心相抵著。我看著自己的雙手,十指時伸時屈。最終,我說話了。
"Well, aside from the obvious, sometimes…" I hesitated. "I can't be sure — I don't know how toread minds — but sometimes it seems like you're trying to say goodbye when you're sayingsomething else." That was the best I could sum up the sensation of anguish that his wordstriggered in me at times.
“嗯,除去那些顯而易見的表現(xiàn),有時候……”我遲疑著。“我不能肯定——我可不會讀心術(shù)——可有時候當你在說別的事時,你像是努力要說再見一樣。”這是我對他的話時不時在我心里引起的那些痛苦的感覺的最好的總結(jié)。
"Perceptive," he whispered. And there was the anguish again, surfacing as he confirmed myfear. "That's exactly why you're wrong, though," he began to explain, but then his eyesnarrowed. "What do you mean, 'the obvious'?"
“非常敏銳。”他耳語道。又一陣痛苦襲來,表面上看他似乎證實了我的恐懼。“但是,那確實是你錯了的原因。”他正要開始解釋,但隨即,他的眼睛瞇縫起來。“你是什么意思,‘那些顯而易見的表現(xiàn)’?”
"Well, look at me," I said, unnecessarily as he was already staring. "I'm absolutely ordinary —well, except for bad things like all the near-death experiences and being so clumsy that I'malmost disabled. And look at you." I waved my hand toward him and all his bewilderingperfection.
“好吧,看著我。”我說道,但這毫無必要,因為他已經(jīng)在注視著我了。“我無比平凡——嗯,除了一些不好的事,比方說所有這些與死神擦肩而過的經(jīng)歷,還有笨拙得像個殘障人士一樣。而看看你。”我揮手示意著他,還有他所有的讓人迷亂的極致之處。