Requirement 1: Can we agree to have a constructive conversation?
Process Model
Commit to the relationship – signal that you are ready to work on the problem and it is worth doing.
Optimize safety – you will do your best to not make the other feel defensive, and you will try to appreciate the other’s point of view.
Requirement 2: Can our conversation be productive enough to make a difference?
Process Model
Narrow the discussion to one issue – identify one issue at time in a nonthreatening way.
Neutralize defensiveness – minimize using words, terms, or descriptions that make the other defensive.
Requirement 3: Can we understand and appreciate each other’s perspective?
Process Model
Explain and echo each perspective-tell the other what you observe, how it makes you feel, and the long-term consequences.
Requirement 4: Can we all commit to making improvements?
Process Model
Change one behavior each – agree that each of you is going to change one behavior.
Track it! – determine ways to monitor progress.
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