Q: What does it feel like to be stupid? Answered by Anonymous
The following is an account of a true but unusual experience (I'm not a doctor and I'm only telling my story, to the best of my understanding):
佚名:
下面描述的是一段真實而不尋常的經(jīng)歷(我不是醫(yī)生,只是盡自己的理解講述我的故事):
I had an undiagnosed arterial problem for a couple of years, which reduced the blood supply to my heart and probably to my brain too, and seemed to have depleted B vitamins from my nerves (probably to keep the heart in good repair). Although there is some vagueness as to the mechanisms, this made me forgetful, slow, and easily overwhelmed. In short, I felt like I was stupid compared to what I was used to, and I was. The symptoms were very atypical for what was eventually revealed to be a fairly typical heart condition.
有那么幾年我的動脈一直有問題,但是沒有被診斷出來,這個毛病會減少我心臟和大腦的供血,而且好像也會過度消耗維持神經(jīng)系統(tǒng)正常運作的維生素B(大概是拿去護(hù)養(yǎng)心臟了)。雖然其中的原理還不清楚,但它導(dǎo)致我健忘、遲鈍,也很容易不知所措。簡單的說,我感覺自己和過去相比笨了很多,事實上也的確如此。這個毛病后來被診斷出是一個典型的心臟問題,而我的癥狀卻是非常不典型的。
It was frightening at first because I knew something wasn't right but didn't know what, and very worrying for my career because I was simply not very good any more.
最初我很害怕,因為我感覺哪里不對勁,卻找不出問題所在。我還很擔(dān)心我的工作,因為我確實不再那么優(yōu)秀了。
However, once I got used to it and resigned myself, it was great. Even though I knew I had a worrying illness, I was happy as a pig in mud. I no longer had the arrogance of being frustrated with slow people, I abandoned many projects which reduced a lot of stress, I could enjoy films without knowing what would happen (my nickname before this used to be 'comic book guy' if you get the reference, on account of always knowing what would happen and being quite contemptuous of the writer's simplicity), and I became amazingly laid back and happy go lucky. I got on with people much better. I developed much more respect for one of my friends in particular who I always considered slow - it turned out he is much deeper than I thought, I just never had the patience to notice before. You could say I had more time to look around. The world just made more sense.
不過,一旦我接受了事實,并擺脫了這些害怕和焦慮,感覺就好多了。盡管知道我的病令人擔(dān)憂,我卻是如魚得水一般的快活。我再也不會高高在上地嫌棄那些笨拙的人了,我放棄了很多項目,這樣一來壓力也小了很多。我能夠在不知道情節(jié)的情況下去欣賞一部電影(我以前有個外號叫漫畫男(注1),你懂的,因為我總能知道劇情接下來會怎么發(fā)展,而且還常瞧不起那些編劇的“單蠢”)。我現(xiàn)在非常隨和而且無憂無慮,人際關(guān)系也好了很多。我曾經(jīng)認(rèn)為我一個朋友反應(yīng)遲鈍,但現(xiàn)在對他尊敬多了?,F(xiàn)在我才發(fā)現(xiàn),他比我想象的要深沉的多,只是以前我沒那個耐心去發(fā)現(xiàn)而已。也可以說,我現(xiàn)在有更多的時間去探索發(fā)現(xiàn),這個世界變得有意義多了。
The only negative, apart from struggling to perform at work, and having to write everything down, was that I no longer found sci-fi interesting - it just didn't seem important. (I'm not joking, although it sounds like a cliché.)
除了工作的時候要比以前費力,什么事情都要寫下來以防忘記之外,唯一的壞處就是,我對科幻小說失去了興趣——它貌似不重要了(聽起來很老套,但我不是開玩笑?。?。
Injections of B12 every other day, for a month helped a lot, but I was still not right. Cornflakes also helped a bit (due to folic acid I suspect, which I'm now on a daily dose of). The issues did not go away though, which included the cognitive issues, feeling cold all the time, numb fingers, and being prone to snoozing.
我曾經(jīng)每隔一天都要注射B12,注射了一個月之后,情況改善了很多,但病還是沒完全好。吃玉米片也能有所幫助(我猜是因為里面有葉酸,現(xiàn)在我每天都要攝入一劑量葉酸)。但各種癥狀并未消失,像認(rèn)知障礙啊,總是覺得冷啊,手指麻木沒知覺啊,還老是想打盹。
Eventually after more physical and life threatening symptoms developed I got the right tests and they found my arteries were blocked up. Two of the three main coronary arteries were completely blocked - they couldn't work out how I was alive, and had avoided any angina or a heart attack. I later found out that I had unusually good peripheral circulation, probably from the intense cycling that I was very fond of.
在身體不適感加重,危及生命的癥狀逐步惡化后,醫(yī)生總算給我做了些有用的測試,發(fā)現(xiàn)是動脈阻塞。三條主冠狀動脈中的兩條被完全堵死了。醫(yī)生們想不通我怎么還活著,并且怎么沒有任何心絞痛和心臟病發(fā)的癥狀。后來我發(fā)現(xiàn),我的末梢循環(huán)特別發(fā)達(dá),這可能得益于我鐘愛高強(qiáng)度自行車運動。
I've since had stents to open up the arteries again and made a full recovery of all symptoms. Physically I felt like superman the first time I got back on my bike and raced up a local hill at about 30mph. And mentally, the difference was equally startling.
隨后我裝了心臟支架以擴(kuò)張動脈,這使我的各種病癥得以痊愈。就身體方面而言,當(dāng)我第一次重新騎上自行車,以30邁的速度奔到附近的山上時,我覺得自己像個超人一樣。而精神上,同樣也發(fā)生了非常大的變化。
After a year or so I am almost as 'clever' as I used to be, although I tend to ignore distractions more than I used to and focus on a smaller number of projects. I'm still more laid back than I used to be though, and have more patience with people. Most people still find me more socially competent. I also enjoy sci-fi again.
大約一年之后,我?guī)缀跏恰奥斆魅绯酢绷耍瓦^去相比,我不那么容易分心了,而是專注于幾項工作。不過我仍然比病前多了幾分懶散,也有更多的耐心與人相處。大家覺得我依然平易近人,我也重新愛上了科幻小說。
So an unusual perspective, from a fairly unusual circumstance, but that's what it feels like to be stupid when you used to consider yourself fairly bright. In some ways it was a great learning experience, although obviously in other ways it is a life changing fact I have to live with. Heart disease cannot be cured, just the consequences relieved for a while; I'll have to live a healthy lifestyle for the rest of my life and even so, be subject to future procedures. Not many people get to walk about in other peoples shoes, and then more or less pick up where they left off. It's also obviously nice to still be alive.
因此,這是從一段不同尋常的經(jīng)歷得到的一個不同尋常的角度——作為一個曾經(jīng)自認(rèn)很聰明不凡的人,變笨的感覺是怎樣的。從某些方面來說,這是一段很好的學(xué)習(xí)經(jīng)歷,但從另一方面來說,這顯然是我必須接受的生死命運。心臟病是無法治愈的,只能暫時緩解。我必須在余生中保持健康的生活方式,即便如此,將來還是有可能再次動手術(shù)。沒有幾個人能體驗別人的人生,還能多多少少回歸自己原本的生活。沒有什么比活著更好的了。
In short I would say that the frustration of dealing with slower people is worse than being one of the slower people, even if you know you are slow. I suspect most people who are relatively slow, don't know it, but I think I've glimpsed how they experience the world, and actually, I quite liked it.
簡而言之,我想說,即使你知道自己笨,與笨人較真還是要比自己笨更痛苦。我懷疑大多數(shù)不那么聰明的人都不知道自己笨,而我卻能去感知一回,以笨人的視角去看世界,說真的,這種感覺還不賴。
Update: Since I wrote this, several studies have linked memory problems and other cognitive issues to cardiovascular disease.
補充:自從我寫了這篇文章,一些研究開始把心血管疾病同記憶問題和認(rèn)知問題聯(lián)系起來了。
注1:comic book guy是動畫片《辛普森一家》里面的一個角色,是一個肥胖的有點神經(jīng)質(zhì)的中年男人,炒雞喜歡收集連環(huán)畫,并且IQ極高,還有點變態(tài)。并以妙語連珠,諷刺挖苦而出名。
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