在一段關系中,我們花費很多時間…
...pointing out what's wrong with the other person...
…指出對方哪里做錯…
...and insisting on our blamelessness.
…并堅持自己無可指責。
We imagine that's a good strategy for getting what we want...
我們認為這個好方法可以讓我們得到理想的結果…
...and for being happy in a couple, but that's nonsense.
…并相處的快樂,但這全是無稽之談。
Next time you feel strong enough that you can,...
下次當你覺得自己足夠強大…
...for a moment, stop insisting you're always right.
…片刻就好,不要總是堅持自己是對的。
Try a different tack.
試試看另一種方式。
Out of the blue, say, "Sorry I'm so anxious."
突如其來的說:對不起,我太焦慮了。
"Sorry I lose my temper."
對不起,我情緒失控了。
"Sorry I don't listen enough."
對不起,我沒有仔細傾聽。
"Sorry I'm too preoccupied."
對不起,我分心了。
"Sorry I both want you close and push you away."
對不起,我既想要你接近我,卻又把你推開。
"Sorry I'm not always balanced, sane or mature."
對不起,我并不總是能夠權衡,不夠理智也不夠成熟。
You think that might weaken you, make you hostage to the partner's vengeance.
你認為道歉可能會讓你示弱,讓你被另一半的怨恨所傷害。
It never does.
并不是這樣的。
Everything always gets better from that point.
在這之后,每件事情都會好轉。
Give it a try.
試試看吧。
Sorry I'm so crazy.
對不起,我太瘋狂了。