他其實沒那么喜歡你 第44期:男人不值得信賴

This is Why This One is Hard, by Liz

這就是事情如此艱難的原因

In my life, I have had two men tell me that they hadslept with someone else, in the beginning stages ofour relationship.

在我的人生中，有兩個男人在我們戀情開始的階段告訴我他跟別人睡了。

(In one case, it came to me in a dream, literally, andI confronted him. That really freaked him out. )

(在一種情況下，我夢見了這件事，真的，然后我跟他對質(zhì)。那真的把他嚇到了。)

Anyway, both times what I got from it was that these men wanted me to know that they couldnever be trusted.

不管怎樣，我從這兩次中學(xué)到的教訓(xùn)就是這些男人想告訴我他們永遠(yuǎn)不值得信賴。

They were barely in the relationship and had already pulled the escape hatch.

他們幾乎沒有在戀情中投入，已經(jīng)拉開了安全艙門。

The beginning of two people getting together is such a fragile, tender time.

兩個人開始一段感情的時候是很易碎、脆弱的。

There's nothing like a big pail of Sleeping with Someone Else to put out the fires of a buddingrelationship.

沒有什么比跟其他人到處睡更能撲滅嶄露頭角的戀情了。

I personally would never be able to overcome that.

我個人是永遠(yuǎn)無法克服這一點(diǎn)的。

So this isn't really a tough one for me.

因此這真的對我來說不困難。

Now, if I use my imagination, I could see that in the beginning, the lines are not that clearlydrawn, the rules aren't that firmly in place yet.

現(xiàn)在，如果我發(fā)揮想象，我可以預(yù)見開始的時候，路線沒有那么明晰，規(guī)則沒有那么堅定。

Maybe it is the last fling before the final commitment.

也許這是最后承諾前的最后一擲。

If it's early in the relationship, it can be hard to know if the guy is just getting something out ofhis system and it's a one-time thing, or if it's a guy who's just a big jerk.

戀愛初期，很難知道一個男人是否可以從系統(tǒng)中弄出什么來，而且這是一次性的，否則這個家伙就是個大混蛋。

That's the thing about dating—you're having intimate experiences with someone who, at theend of the day, you don't know very well.

這就是關(guān)于約會——你跟一個人有親密體驗，然而到了最后你并不太了解他。

You don't know his personal code of honor, you don't have his dating rap sheet.

你不知道他的個人榮譽(yù)代碼，你沒有他的約會說唱表。

You have to go by instinct, how much you care about him, and what he has to say for himselfabout it.

你必須跟著感覺走，你有多在乎他，他對自己有何看法。

All I can think is, how sad to be having that conversation in the beginning of things, wheneverything is supposed to be cozy and snugly and people are usually on their best behavior.

我能想到的是，事情開始之前進(jìn)行這個對話有多難過，當(dāng)所有的事情應(yīng)該舒適溫暖，人們的舉止通常在最佳狀態(tài)時。

If nothing else, I wish better for us all. I really do.

如果沒有其它的事，我希望大家一切安好，真的。