他其實(shí)沒那么喜歡你 第60期:想被愛不是愚蠢的

Questions that only you can answer in your mostsane, clear-headed of moments: Do you feel trulyloved?

只能在你最理智，頭腦最清醒的時(shí)刻回答：你感覺到了真愛嗎?

Do you feel he is deeply committed to you?

你感覺到他是發(fā)自內(nèi)心的對(duì)你做出承諾么?

Do you feel he has any doubts about wanting to builda life with you?

你感覺他對(duì)和你一起共享人生有任何的懷疑么?

If the answer to these questions are yes, yes, no, then let the debating begin, because he mighthave a point.

如果這些問題的回答是是的、是的、不是，那就讓這場爭論開始吧，因?yàn)樗苍S有自己的道理。

But if you feel that he's always holding something back, or that you're spending a lot of energytrying to change yourself into something you think will make him happier, then divorce yourselffrom him and move on.

但是如果你覺得他一直所保留，或是你花費(fèi)了太多精力來使自己變成能讓他更開心的樣子，那就跟他離婚，繼續(xù)自己的生活。

Don't let him make you feel stupid about wanting to feel loved.

不要讓他使自己感覺想被愛是愚蠢的。

This is What It Should Look Like, by Liz

這就是事情該有的樣子，莉茲

I have a lady friend whose boyfriend had just moved cross country to live with her, and we wereall out having drinks.

我有一個(gè)女性朋友，她男友剛跨過整個(gè)國家去和她一起生活，我們在一起喝酒。

We got on the subject of marriage, and he went on a huge diatribe of how he didn't believe inmarriage.

我們談到婚姻的話題，他開始大肆抨擊并表達(dá)自己不相信婚姻。

He grew up in an environment where there was crazy pressure to get married, and all he sawwere unhappy, unhealthy marriages.

他成長在一個(gè)結(jié)婚壓力巨大的環(huán)境，見過的都是不開心、不健康的婚姻。

My friend was surprised by this strong reaction, and fairly upset about it.

我的朋友驚訝于他如此強(qiáng)烈的反應(yīng)，并十分不高興。

She wasn't an intensely marriage-minded gal, but she always thought it was going to be anoption.

她并不是一個(gè)結(jié)婚狂熱者，但是她一直認(rèn)為結(jié)婚是一個(gè)選擇。

She gave it a good deal of thought and realized that what she really wanted was just to be withthis man, who had just moved his entire life to be with her.

她大力思考了此事，并意識(shí)到她真正想要的是和他在一起，這個(gè)男人剛把自己的整個(gè)生活搬來和她共度。

So she got used to the idea that she would never be married.

所以她習(xí)慣了這個(gè)她永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)結(jié)婚的想法。

A year later he proposed, because he realized he was in love with her and knew it wassomething that was important to her.

一年后他求婚了，因?yàn)樗庾R(shí)到自己如此深愛她并且這對(duì)對(duì)方而言意義非凡。

Greg, I Get It! by Sandy, Age 33

格雷格，我知道了!桑迪，33歲

I was dating this guy for a year and a half.

我和一個(gè)男人約會(huì)一年半了。

We'd had a few conversations about marriage.

我們對(duì)婚姻有過幾次談話。

One day I realized that all the conversations we'd had about marriage were started by me.

有一天我意識(shí)到所有關(guān)于婚姻的談話都是我發(fā)起的。

"Sure," he always replied, "you are my soul mate. I'm so passionate about you. I love youmore than I've ever loved anyone, blah, blah, blah."

“當(dāng)然，”他總是這么回答，“你是我的靈魂伴侶。我對(duì)你著迷不已。我愛你勝過所有人，等等，等等，等等。”

When I'd asked him flat out, "Do you want to marry me?" he'd say, "Yeah, I would like to."

當(dāng)我直接問他說，“你想跟我結(jié)婚么?”他會(huì)說，“是的，我很愿意。”

Then it dawned on me—I had never heard the words "I want to marry you" come out of hismouth.

我突然明白我從未從他嘴里聽過“我想和你結(jié)婚”這句話。

Literally, the day I had this revelation, I dumped him.

毫不夸張的，那一天我在恍然大悟后甩了他。