他其實沒那么喜歡你 第96期:分手后的新標準

Yes, breakups are painful, even from someone youmay have only dated a few times.

沒錯，分手很痛苦，即使是你只約會了幾次的人。

You may have been really excited about him and hada lot of hopes for the future.

或許你對他真的很亢奮，對未來也有很多的期許。

But how empowering to have the mental clarity tosay, 'He just wasn't that into me.'

但是要有怎么的授權(quán)才能理智的說：“他其實沒那么喜歡你。”

Can you imagine that girl in the future? Nothing will be able to stop her.

你可以想象那個女孩未來會怎么樣嗎?已經(jīng)沒有什么可以阻止她。

Now, there's a million things you can do after a breakup; what you do during that time!—yoga,affirmation tapes, murder!—is your business.

分手之后，你有很多事可以做，這期間你可以干什么呢!——瑜伽、謀殺!隨便你。

But basically you're going to have to feel the pain, you're going to have to go through it, andthen you're going to have to get over it.

但是你基本上會感到痛苦，而且還要經(jīng)歷著痛苦，然后才能從痛苦中走出來。

All we can try to do is help you do it differently in the future.

我們試著幫助你能在未來有所改變。

The first thing we're going to recommend is setting some standards.

我們首先會建議你定一些標準。

Reset Your Standards

重新定你的標準吧。

Sure, you say, "But I have standards."

當然，你會說，“但我是有標準的啊。”

Well, your standards led you to this audio book, so let's raise them.

沒錯，你的標準造就了這本有聲讀物，那就把這些標準讀出來。

Let's set a dignified bar for you to exist at.

讓我們開一家為你而存在的氣派的酒吧。

Let's put you in charge with how it's going to go next time.

讓你來規(guī)劃下一步該怎么走吧。

But you ask, "What if there isn't going to be a next time? "And we say, "Stow that bad-newscargo on the sure-to-sink ship. Because that ship is about to hit Sad Island and we don't wantyou on it." '

但是你會問：“假如沒有下次怎么辦?”我們會說：“讓裝滿壞消息的集裝箱放到必沉的船上吧。因為這艘船會撞到悲傷島，我們不想你在島上。”

A standard is setting a level for yourself of what you will or won't tolerate.

為你自己的標準設(shè)定什么是可以忍受的、什么是不可以忍受的級別。

You get to decide how it's going to be for you.

由你決定怎樣才是適合你的。

You can now design the person you want to be in the future, and the standards you want tohave.

你現(xiàn)在就可以設(shè)計一個未來你想成為的人，以及你想有的標準。

Write your new standards down so you'll never ever forget them, no matter how cute he is orhow long it's been since you've had sex.

寫下你的新標準，這樣你才不會忘了，不管他多有魅力，或者你有多長時間沒做愛了。

Okay, we admit it, some of our workbook things were little silly, but this one we mean.

好吧，我承認，我們工作簿上的一些事前有點愚蠢，但這就是我們的意思。

Make sure you know what you stand for and what you believe in.

確認你要維護的和你該相信什么。

And because we obviously think we know better than you (we got a book deal, didn't we? ),we're going to give you some standard suggestions.

因為顯然我們比你更了解你(我們寫了一本，是吧?)，我們打算給你一些標準建議。

Standard Suggestions

標準建議

I will not go out with a man who hasn't asked me out first.

我不會和沒有主動約我的人約會。

I will not go out with a man who keeps me waiting by the phone.

我不會和打電話一直讓我等的人約會。

I will not date a man who isn't sure he wants to date me.

我不會和不確定是否想和我約會的人約會。

I will not date a man who makes me feel sexually undesirable.

我不會和與之性生活不理想的人在一起。

I will not date a man who drinks or does drugs to an extent that makes me uncomfortable.

我不會和酗酒、嗑藥到令我不舒服的人在一起。

I will not be with a man who's afraid to talk about our future.

我不會和害怕暢談未來的人在一起。

I will not, under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has alreadyrejected me.

無論如何我都不會把我寶貴的時間花在一個已經(jīng)拒絕我的男人身上。

I will not date a man who is married.

我不會和已婚男人約會。

I will not be with a man who is not clearly a good, kind, loving person.

我不會和不優(yōu)秀、不友善、沒有愛的人在一起。

Now it's your turn. Only you know the standards you haven't set for yourself. Write them down.Don't forget them.

該輪到你了。只有你知道你沒有為自己設(shè)定標準。把它們寫下來。不要忘了。