伍迪單口相聲精選 第2期:拉斯維加斯Vegas

In addition to my vodka ad, I also played LasVegas for the first time.

除了我的伏特加廣告，我還第一次去了拉斯維加斯玩。

You see I'm not a gambler, you should know thatabout me. I went to the racetrack once in my life andI bet on a horse called Battle Gun, and when allthehorses come out, mine is the only horse in the racewith training wheels.

你看我根本不會賭博，你們應該了解我。我曾經(jīng)去過一次跑馬場，我把賭注押在了一匹名叫“戰(zhàn)炮”的馬身上，當馬兒們都亮相后，我的那匹是場中唯一安著一對輔助輪的馬。

You have to believe me when I say, that there is something seductive about me, when I shootcrap.

你們得相信我，我說我擲骰子(又有“吹牛”和“拉屎”的意思。)時還是相當富有魅力的。

And I'm at the crap table, I'm...dicing.

我在賭桌旁坐了下來，我投出骰子。

A very provocative woman comes up to me, and she begins to...size me up...and I take herupstairs to my hotel room.

這時有個非常撩人的女人朝我走了過來，她開始上下打量我，我領她來到樓上我旅館房間。

Shut the door. Remove my glasses. Show her no mercy.

關上房門，摘掉眼鏡，對她肆無忌憚地表現(xiàn)著。

I unbutton my shirt, and she unbuttons her shirt. And I smile. She smiles.

我解開我的襯衣紐扣;她也解開她的襯衣紐扣。我微笑;她也微笑。

I remove my shirt and she removes her shirt. And I wink and she winks.

我脫掉我的襯衣;她也脫掉她的襯衣。我眨眼;她也眨眼。

And I remove my pants. She removes her pants. And I realize I'm looking into a mirror.

我脫掉褲子，她也脫掉褲子。我意識到我看著的是一面鏡子。