不要擔(dān)心超出能力范圍的事

How can I stop worrying about things that are beyond my control?

我怎樣才能不再為超出我能力范圍的事?lián)?

獲得43.8k好評(píng)的回答@Dushka Zapata：

This is my favorite fortune cookie prediction ever and I carry it with me always.

這是我最喜歡的幸運(yùn)餅干預(yù)測(cè)(西方中餐館給客人的包有預(yù)測(cè)未來(lái)運(yùn)氣小紙條的小餅干)，我總是帶在身邊。

You see, I used to be a worrier.

跟你說(shuō)，我過(guò)去總是憂心忡忡。

I worried all the time. I worried that something was going to happen to someone I loved, or that something was going to happen to me. I worried that my family was not safe in Mexico City (where I'm from). I worried that I forgot to close the garage door.

我總是在擔(dān)心。我擔(dān)心我所愛的人會(huì)發(fā)生什么事，或者我自己會(huì)發(fā)生什么事，我擔(dān)心家人在墨西哥城不安全(我就來(lái)自那里)，我擔(dān)心自己忘關(guān)車庫(kù)門。

Why was it hard for me to even consider letting go of something that could be making me sick?

為什么連考慮一下放下這些讓我頭疼的事對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)都很難?

Because, even though for a long time I couldn't articulate this, I somehow believed that if I worried about something, I could prevent it. Yup. I believed that most things I worried about wouldn't happen precisely because I worried about them. I saw my worry as a sort of protective shield, an undetectable force that swirled around the people that I loved and accompanied them wherever they went like an aura/guardian, like a halo on an angel’s head.

因?yàn)椋泻荛L(zhǎng)一段時(shí)間我雖然自己也說(shuō)不清，但不知怎么地我就是認(rèn)為如果我擔(dān)心某件事就能避免這件事發(fā)生。對(duì)，我相信大部分我所擔(dān)心的事都沒發(fā)生恰恰是因?yàn)槲业膿?dān)心。我把自己的擔(dān)心當(dāng)作一種保護(hù)傘，一種圍繞在我愛的人身邊并隨他們到各處的無(wú)形力量，就像一個(gè)光環(huán)或守護(hù)者，就像天使頭上的光環(huán)。

I explained this to a friend who looked at me before asking "Nice. How is that working for you?"

我這樣跟朋友解釋后，朋友看了看我說(shuō)：“很好，可這對(duì)你有什么用呢?”

I was stumped. I was stunned.

我僵住了，蒙了。

I realized I had inadvertently been practicing being a worrier for years, and that, as such, I could un-learn it. I replaced every worry-thought with another thought. ("All is well". "Everything is going to be ok." Or even - "even if that was going to happen my worry is not going to prevent it".)

我意識(shí)到我無(wú)意中多慮了很多年，我同樣意識(shí)到可以改掉這個(gè)壞習(xí)慣。我把每種擔(dān)心都換成另外一個(gè)想法(“一切順利”、“一切都會(huì)好的”，或者甚至是“即使這件事真的發(fā)生了，我擔(dān)心也于事無(wú)補(bǔ)”)。

I can't say I don't worry anymore but I worry a lot less. And when I do, I get to work on letting that crap go.

我不能說(shuō)我再?zèng)]有擔(dān)心過(guò)，但比過(guò)去少多了。要擔(dān)心時(shí)就努力把那些廢話從大腦中清理出去。

獲得911好評(píng)的回答@Mehek Bassi：

By asking yourself "WHY"?

問(wèn)問(wèn)你自己“為什么”?

You know that they are beyond your control, and despite knowing that, you are still worried? Why? Ask yourself "WHY?"

你知道這件事超出能力范圍了，即使知道，你還是會(huì)擔(dān)心?為什么?問(wèn)問(wèn)你自己“為什么?”

Once you get the answer of this why, (and the answer will be - because I'm stupid! So I worry about things I can't control), and after getting this answer, ask yourself another question "What can I change?" The answer will come out to be "Nothing!". And after asking these two questions, you won't be worried anymore. So you can move on from the thought and focus on things that matter, things that you can change, things that are in your control, things that are important!

你會(huì)找到這個(gè)問(wèn)題的答案(答案是：因?yàn)槲掖啦艜?huì)為解決不了的事?lián)?)，知道答案之后，再問(wèn)自己一個(gè)問(wèn)題：“我能改變什么?”答案可能是“什么都改變不了，”問(wèn)完這兩個(gè)問(wèn)題，你就不再擔(dān)心了。你的生活就能繼續(xù)了，把思想和注意力都放在有意義的、你能改變的、可控的、重要的事上!