謝謝你 我愛你：寫給未來老公的一封信

親愛的未來老公：

I'm not yet sure whether you exist, though I'd like to believe that you do. While it may not make much logical sense, you've been on my mind lately. I haven't thought much about what you'll look like, how tall you'll be, or what type of car you'll drive — I'm not too concerned with the minor details. However, I have been thinking about a few things I want you to know.

我尚不確定你是否存在，雖然我愿意相信你的存在。雖然有點(diǎn)不太符合邏輯，但你最近總出現(xiàn)在我腦海里。關(guān)于你的長(zhǎng)相、你的身高或者你開什么車子我都沒想太多，我不太關(guān)心這些無關(guān)緊要的細(xì)節(jié)，然而我一直在想有幾件事你需要知道。

I want you to know that I am happy — right now — as a single, 26-year-old "millennial" who lives in a small apartment with a roommate and eats Chipotle for dinner more times than I care to admit. I love my job, I love my crazy friends and family, and I love spending quality time alone. I want you to know that my life has purpose apart from and before you. When we do meet one day, I want you to understand that I do not expect you to complete me, or to be my God. That's way too much pressure for anyone to bear. I am already complete.

我想要你知道，現(xiàn)在單身的我很幸福，一個(gè)26歲的千禧一代，和室友一起住在一個(gè)小公寓里，晚餐吃墨西哥便餐的次數(shù)多得我自己都不愿意去想。我喜歡自己的工作，喜歡瘋狂的朋友和家人，喜歡獨(dú)處的寶貴時(shí)光。我想要你知道沒有你的時(shí)候和遇到你之前我的生活都有目標(biāo)。某天我們遇見了，我想讓你明白我不需要你來使我變得更完美或主宰我的生活，那樣我們的壓力都太大，我的生活已經(jīng)很完整了。

I want you to know that I am not a trophy. Apparently, a lot of guys think this is a compliment. However, I want you to know that I have no desire to be seen as a trophy — a symbol of your own perceived success. I was not raised just to sit and look pretty on anybody's shelf. I want to have intellectual conversations. I want to help you chase your dreams. I want to be your partner, not your prize.

我想要你知道我不是你的戰(zhàn)利品。顯然很多男孩都覺著這是恭維，但我想要你知道我不想被人當(dāng)做戰(zhàn)利品來象征你自己的成功。我的成長(zhǎng)不是僅僅為了坐在別人的架子上成為漂亮的擺設(shè)。我想要有頭腦的對(duì)話，想幫你追求夢(mèng)想，想成為你的搭檔，而不是你的獎(jiǎng)品。

I want you to know that I am a feminist, and I want you to be a feminist, too. This doesn't mean I am anti-men, and it doesn't mean I think myself superior to you. It merely means that as a woman, I believe that I should have the power and the choice to define what it means to be a female. Maybe I will continue to work a full-time job for the duration of our marriage. Maybe, one day, I'll decide to take on the onerous yet rewarding task of being a stay-at-home mom. Either way, I'll be "working." I am hopeful that you and I will be able to come up with a solution that works best for our relationship, and for our future family, free from societal expectations.

我想要你知道我主張男女平等，希望你也是。這不是說我對(duì)男人反感或感覺自己比你優(yōu)越。我只想說，作為女人，我相信我應(yīng)該有權(quán)力選擇去定義一個(gè)女人的意義。可能結(jié)婚以后我還會(huì)繼續(xù)全職工作，也可能有一天會(huì)決定選擇繁重但卻值得的全職太太的任務(wù)。無論選擇哪一個(gè)，那都是我的工作。我滿懷希望地認(rèn)為你和我能找到最適合我們自己和未來家庭的方式，而不會(huì)為世俗所累。

I want you to know that while your opinions will be valuable to me, I will try my hardest not to exchange my personal identity for your stamp of approval. It has taken me over two decades to become comfortable in my own skin, and I don't ever want to compromise that. I hope that you will love me whether I decide to wear my hair long or short. I hope that you will think I am beautiful whether I choose to walk around with a fresh face or eyes adorned with mascara. If we choose to have children, I hope that you will appreciate my body post-pregnancy just as much as you did the day we met.

我想要你知道雖然你的想法對(duì)我來說很重要，但我還是會(huì)盡最大努力不用自己的身份來換取你的認(rèn)可。我花了20多年才適應(yīng)自己，我可不想做出讓步。我希望無論我是決定留長(zhǎng)發(fā)還是短發(fā)你都愛我;我希望無論我是選擇素顏還是刷上睫毛膏出門你都覺著我很美。如果我們想要寶寶，我希望你會(huì)像剛遇見我時(shí)那樣喜歡我生完寶寶后的身材。

I want you to know that I am not concerned with the size of my future engagement ring, and I will never pressure you to propose. Sure, I've thought about those things. I'm inundated daily with images of blushing brides and fairytale weddings. But at the end of the day, my goal is not to get married, but to stay married. If you promise to be my best friend for life, I promise not to get caught up in all the wedding madness.

我想要你知道我不在乎未來訂婚戒指的大小，也決不會(huì)給你壓力讓你求婚。是的，那些我都曾幻想過，我每天都不停幻想紅著臉的新娘和童話般的婚禮。但最終我的目標(biāo)不是結(jié)婚，而是維持住婚姻。如果你答應(yīng)作我一輩子最好的朋友，我就答應(yīng)你不會(huì)陷入對(duì)婚禮的狂熱追求。

Most importantly, I want you to know that when we do fall in love, I will love you unconditionally. I don't expect you to be perfect, and I can guarantee you that I won't be either. I do, however, expect you to accept me fully for who I really am, and I promise to do the same for you. I will never try to change you, I will never let you feel unseen, and I will always be your number one fan.

最重要的一點(diǎn)就是，我想要你知道戀愛時(shí)我會(huì)無條件地愛你。我不期待你很完美，我敢保證我也不完美。然而我真地希望你能完全接受真正的我，我保證也如此對(duì)你。我永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)努力去改變你，永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)讓你感覺被忽視，我永遠(yuǎn)都是你的頭號(hào)粉絲。

Yours truly,

愛你，

Perfectly Imperfect Me.

完美卻又不完美的我。