你是無(wú)可救藥的浪漫派嗎?想到與夢(mèng)中情人墜入愛(ài)河你會(huì)興奮嗎?你會(huì)因?yàn)殡娨暲锏膼?ài)情喜劇和古裝劇情節(jié)而多愁善感嗎?又或者你認(rèn)為愛(ài)情只是基于現(xiàn)實(shí)的理想化,其實(shí)根本不存在?好吧,或許你是對(duì)的。
I’m no romantic and more of a realist – taking a more practical approach to love - maybe that’s why I never had many girlfriends! But if you really are expecting the kind of love that makes your heart flutter with happiness you may be dissapointed.
我是理性多于感性的人——更看重物質(zhì)。或許這就是為什么我沒(méi)有很多女朋友!如果你期待電視里演的那些讓人跌宕起伏轟轟烈烈的愛(ài)情發(fā)生在自己身上,你可能會(huì)失望。
Our expectation of what romance is, probably originated from the Romantic period - an artistic, literary, musical and intellectual movement that originated in Europe in the 18th Century. The notion of falling in love, getting married and living happily ever after were culturally held ideas formed during this period and still exist today.
我們對(duì)愛(ài)情的期望,或許來(lái)源于十八世紀(jì)浪漫主義時(shí)期——孕育出歐洲燦爛文化,藝術(shù),音樂(lè),思想的搖籃時(shí)代。這個(gè)時(shí)期流行的愛(ài)情是:墜入愛(ài)河,結(jié)婚,然后幸福快樂(lè)的生活。并且現(xiàn)在這種觀念依然存在。
Of course there’s nothing wrong with liking the idea of romance; it makes us feel good – but we must be careful not to use it as a benchmark for our own relationships. This idealised version of love leaves out the nitty- gritty of real-life relationships. There’s usually work, finances and other stresses of everyday life to deal with. You can’t expect romantic gestureslike a bunch of red roses every day – there are bills to pay!
當(dāng)然那樣說(shuō)也沒(méi)有錯(cuò)。至少會(huì)讓我們好受一些——但是我們得注意不能按這種理想的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)來(lái)衡量我們現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中的感情。畢竟我們需要不斷的工作來(lái)減輕每日的經(jīng)濟(jì)和生活壓力。你最好不要期待,每天都有一束新鮮的玫瑰花送給你之類(lèi)的浪漫之舉——畢竟它們也是要付錢(qián)的!
Many popular love stories end at the point where the characters get together or tie the knot. That puts the focus on finding someone special. But very few show us how to keep that perfect catch over a long period of time. A relationship is hard work. It’s frustrating, messy and can be emotionally damaging.
一些有名的愛(ài)情故事,總是在主人公在一起或是結(jié)婚之后就戛然而止。他們更關(guān)注的是如何找到對(duì)的那個(gè)人。但是只有很少一些會(huì)讓我們看到愛(ài)情如何保鮮。經(jīng)營(yíng)一段關(guān)系其實(shí)很難,它們脆弱且不堪一擊,或許會(huì)讓你沮喪,混亂,甚至遭遇情感危機(jī)。
If you’re still convinced romance isn’t dead, how will you ever find it? Historian and TV presenter Lucy Worsley thinks nowadays, any idea of romance is dying because it has become "too easy" to meet new people via dating apps. She told the BBC the "slow exquisite torture of love in Jane Austen novels no longer existed in the age of Grindr and Tinder [apps]."
如果你仍然堅(jiān)信浪漫不死,那你會(huì)怎么找到它呢?歷史學(xué)家兼主持人路西認(rèn)為現(xiàn)在浪漫不復(fù),因?yàn)楝F(xiàn)在有太多約會(huì)軟件了,所以人們可以很輕易的去認(rèn)識(shí)新的人。她告訴BBC的記者,像簡(jiǎn)奧斯丁的小說(shuō)里那樣讓人抓心撓肝兒的愛(ài)情是不可能出現(xiàn)在Grindr和tinder(交友軟件)上的。
Perhaps romance is best left to the movies – a fantasy that makes us feel good – and instead concentrate on finding a good and healthy relationship with its ups and downs but one that is full of love. Do you believe romance really exists?
可能浪漫只存在于電影里——自欺欺人的幻想——歷經(jīng)千辛萬(wàn)苦,去找到那個(gè)對(duì)的人,然后過(guò)上幸福快樂(lè)的生活.你認(rèn)為浪漫真的存在嗎?