心靈美文_冬日之光 A Light in Winter
文字難度：★★★
On March 16, 2002, when daffodils were swaying in the slowly warming wind of a 1)North Carolina spring, I found myself in a 2)snug hospital room with my wife and just-born daughter, only hours old, and I thought of ice.
2002年3月16日,北卡羅來納州的春天時節(jié),水仙花在漸漸變暖的春風中搖曳,我與妻子以及剛剛出生才幾個小時的女兒呆在一間溫暖的病房里。這時,我想到了冰雪。
A poem called Frost at Midnight, by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, was on my mind. In this verse, written in 1798, Coleridge sits near his infant son, Hartley, on a winter night in England. He recalls events from his troubled life, one 3)fraught with chronic miseries, ranging from melancholy to4)botched love to opium addiction to writer’s 5)block. With a 6)fervor usually reserved for prayer, the poet envisions a life for his son free of these problems—a vibrant, creative 7)existence. Coleridge then asks nature itself to nurture his parental hope, 8)invoking the 9)potency of green summer but also, and especially, the winter’s “secret 10)ministry of frost,” “quietly shining to the quiet moon.”
我想起塞繆爾·泰勒·柯勒律治的詩《霜夜》。這首詩寫于1798年,在英格蘭的一個冬夜,柯勒律治坐在他幼小的兒子哈特利身旁。他回憶起自己坎坷的一生——罹患憂郁癥,情路失意跌撞,沉溺鴉片,寫作路上又靈感枯竭——悲歌連連。帶著祈禱時的那股熱情,詩人寄望兒子的生活能免于這一切不幸——過上充滿活力且富有創(chuàng)造性的生活。接著,柯勒律治請求大自然呵護成全他對兒子的希望,懇求青蔥夏日,尤其是那“向著寧靜的月亮靜靜閃光”的冬日“秘密使者嚴霜”賜予力量。
As a college professor, I had been teaching Frost at Midnight for years, and had decided, soon after my wife became pregnant, to read the poem to commemorate our baby’s birth. And so I did recite the poem to our girl—we named her Una—hoping, like Coleridge, that her life would be 11)perennially blessed by leaves and ice alike, by summery days but also by the chilly periods when she would most need strength.
作為一名大學教授,我曾教授《霜夜》這首詩多年,而且早在妻子懷孕后不久就決定,要讀此詩來紀念我們孩子的出生。后來我的確為我們的女兒(我們給她起名叫尤納)朗誦了這首詩,如柯勒律治一樣,希望她能夠永遠得到綠葉和寒冰的庇佑,無論是炎炎夏日還是最需要力量的寒冷時節(jié),福佑都不斷降臨于她。
What intrigued and moved me about the poem was its curious suggestion that gloom and loneliness might actually cultivate a sort of 12)luminous affection. 13)Forlorn most of his life, Coleridge was acutely aware of the 14)bliss of human connection. Had he led a life free of suffering he might have never realized the wondrous fullness that comes during a father’s watch over his child’s midnight sleep.
這首詩吸引并打動我的是其奇特的寓意——陰郁愁苦和孤獨實際上可能孕育出一種光芒四射的愛意。大半生的孤凄讓柯勒律治深刻意識到人際相處溝通的可貴。如果一生沒經(jīng)歷困苦煎熬,他也許永遠不會體會到一位父親午夜看著自己孩子熟睡時那種奇妙的圓滿感。
To be hollow with longing is to 15)be suffused with love. The thirsty person best knows water. Wounded hearts realize the essence of healing.
徒有熱望的心靈也是最充滿愛意的?？诳实娜俗钪浪淖涛丁Ｊ軅男撵`了解療傷的真諦。
These are Coleridge’s exhilarating and strangely hopeful conclusions. They are optimistic because they envision a world in which suffering, inevitable and pervasive as gravity, is not meaningless but rather a source of wisdom. Even in the darkest hell, there persists a 16)consoling light, a light that 17)pulsates all the more forcibly against its 18)murky background. I held this hope high the day my girl was born, knowing that she, no matter how 19)adept, would necessarily undergo failure, frustration, loss, and confusion.
這些是柯勒律治的結(jié)論,它們振奮人心,新奇而滿載希望。這些論調(diào)是樂觀的,因為在其眼中,世上的苦難,雖然如同地心引力一般,無處不在也無從逃避,但并非毫無意義,其實在是智慧的源泉。即使在最黑暗的地獄,總尚存一縷慰藉的光芒,在陰暗背景的映襯下它跳動得愈加有力。在女兒出生那天我滿懷這種希冀——知道無論她多有能耐,都必然會遭遇失敗、挫折、損失和迷惘。
Maybe these challenging episodes would push her to explore her life with more honesty, to assess with more rigor her strengths and weaknesses, and thus to discover useful truths unavailable in her more contented moments.
也許這些具有挑戰(zhàn)性的“插曲”會推動她抱著一顆更赤誠的心去探索自己的人生,更加嚴格地評估自己的長處和弱點,從而發(fā)掘到一些在更為順心滿意時所無法獲得的有用真理。
Only months after that March day in the hospital, I sat in my study preparing for a class on Coleridge’s20)Kubla Khan and heard Una in another room gurgle and 21)coo and then cry. I thought about how she would soon grow too old to play with me and then become too22)jaded to care about me and then leave home for somewhere else and only very seldom come back. I suddenly felt sadder than I ever had before. I felt the pain of losing her and the wonder of loving her. I adored her more for her 23)imminent going. This wasn’t happiness, and it wasn’t pleasure. It was a more profound and durable experience, a moment24)encompassing both tragedy and 25)euphoria, a child lost and a child found.
那個三月里在醫(yī)院度過那天后,才過了幾個月,我坐在書房里為一堂有關(guān)柯勒律治的《忽必烈汗》的課做準備,聽到尤納在另外一個房間里格格傻笑,咿呀亂語,又大聲哭喊。我想到她很快就會長大,不再與我玩耍;接著會忙碌得無暇關(guān)心我,并離家去往異鄉(xiāng),幾乎很少回來,我突然感到一種從未有過的悲哀。我感到失去她的痛苦,也感受到對她的奇妙愛意。因為她很快就會離開我身邊,我更愛她了。這不是喜悅,也不是快樂。這是一種更加深刻和持久的感受,孩子失去后又尋回那種悲喜交集的瞬間。
26)C. S. Lewis once claimed that the opening lines of Kubla Khan filled him with an 27)unquenchable but 28)rapturous yearning. He believed that such 29)exultant aching is nothing other than joy: “an unsatisfied desire which is itself more desirable than any other satisfaction.”
C·S·劉易斯曾經(jīng)聲稱,《忽必烈汗》一詩的首行字句曾經(jīng)給予他一種難以抑制而又欣喜異常的渴望。他認為,這種歡欣鼓舞的痛苦就是喜悅:“未得到滿足的欲望比任何滿足感更令人心馳神往?！?BR>
The German term for this experience is, as Lewis tells us, 30)Sehnsucht, and it describes precisely those 31)instants when we are most alive: so sad we want to cry, so overjoyed that we weep. These 32)antagonistic 33)epiphanies, the inspirations of Coleridge’s genius, mark the transformative 34)epochs of our lives.
正如劉易斯所告訴我們的,描述這種體驗的德語單詞是“Sehnsucht”,它恰恰是描述了我們生活的大部分瞬間:悲傷得想哭,狂喜得落淚。這些截然相反的感受——來源于柯勒律治的天才靈感——記錄著我們?nèi)松總€重要的轉(zhuǎn)變時刻。
I have been blessed by at least one such revelation, a 35)marriage of 36)verdure and frost. It keeps my fatherly affections as fresh as the spring, even though I know snow is never far. It holds me close to my girl as she walks into the cold distance. She is now seven years old and growing fast. She laughs as much as she cries.
我也有幸至少悟到這么一種啟示,一種青蔥美好和霜寒陰郁相生相融的感悟。這使我能把父愛保持得如春天般生機勃勃,即使我知道雪從不遙遠。在女兒走向冰冷的遠方時,這份感悟能使我與她保持親密。我的女兒現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)7歲,正在快速成長。她經(jīng)常笑,也經(jīng)常哭。
Samuel Taylor Coleridge 塞繆爾·泰勒·柯勒律治
英國詩人、文學評論家，英國浪漫主義文學的奠基人之一。1772年，柯勒律治生于英格蘭西南部德文郡一個鄉(xiāng)鎮(zhèn)牧師的家庭。9歲時，父親去世，母親把他送到了一所荒涼的男子學校，使他幾乎變成了一個孤兒。19歲，他進入劍橋大學攻讀古典文學。在被劍橋錄取之前，他一直憂慮不安，脾氣古怪，并以酗酒和賭博來減輕內(nèi)心的痛苦。由于長期心煩意亂，他未獲得學位就輟學了。不久，因為孤獨和絕望而渴望親密關(guān)系，他與一位不相愛的女子結(jié)婚。他們的結(jié)合被證明是一場折磨。雖然隨后兒子哈特利的出生燃起了他的樂觀情緒，但好景不長。災難接踵而至，他心力交瘁，一系列可怕的身體疾病也隨之而來?？吕章芍文昵鄷r代就患有風濕痛等多種疾病，為求鎮(zhèn)痛，他長期服食鴉片，最后竟上癮，健康因而大受損害。這些心理和生理上的折磨使他陷入絕望。晚年，他貧病交加，于1834年逝世。
柯勒律治和威廉·華茲華斯、羅伯特·騷塞三人并稱為“湖畔派詩人”。他的詩雖然數(shù)量不多，但膾炙人口的《古舟子詠》和《忽必烈汗》等都是英國詩歌中的瑰寶。這些詩顯示了柯勒律治創(chuàng)作的原則和特色——以自然、逼真的形象和環(huán)境描寫表現(xiàn)超自然的、神圣的、浪漫的內(nèi)容，使讀者在閱讀時“自動摒棄其不信任感”而感到真實可信。其他優(yōu)秀詩篇如《寂寞中的恐懼》、 《霜夜》等，則大多傷感、陰郁，表現(xiàn)了作者不幸的生活遭遇和抑郁的心情。除此之外，文學、哲學、神學論文在其全部著作中占有很大比例。其中包含了他的評論精華的《文學傳記》-書浸潤著濃厚的浪漫色彩，受到現(xiàn)代文學批評界的高度贊揚。
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