開眼界：神翻譯不只中國有

It's a running joke that us Brits are known for only speaking English when abroad – so much so that many signs are in our mother tongue.

有個(gè)流傳很廣的笑話，說我們英國人出國只說英語——因?yàn)槲覀兌嗄陥?jiān)持不懈，所以各國才有很多英文標(biāo)識(shí)。

And while locals go above and beyond to try to indulge our lack of language skills, sometimes the divide between what is said and what is meant can be huge.

雖說當(dāng)?shù)厝伺μ岣哂⒄Z水平，縱容了我們這些不會(huì)外語的人，不過，有些時(shí)候他們說出來的話和真正想要表達(dá)的意思，真是相去萬里。

Now, in a new book called Utterly Lost in Translation: Even More ­Misadventures in English Abroad, comedian Charlie Croker has brought together some of the very best language howlers he ­discovered after three years of globe-trotting.

在一本《迷失在翻譯里：國外英文的悲劇之行》中，喜劇演員查理·克羅克在3年的環(huán)球旅行后，收集了一些讓人目瞪口呆的英語誤譯例子。

From boarding a plane to eating out, it proves sometimes we really might be better off digging out that old phrase book…

從登機(jī)到外出就餐，所有的經(jīng)歷都證明我們真應(yīng)該好好翻翻那本老舊的旅行會(huì)話小冊(cè)子……

Travel troubles...

旅行的煩惱……

Travelling can be a testing experience – and these very misleading signs don't make it any easier...

旅行本來就是一場(chǎng)考驗(yàn)——而這些錯(cuò)誤的標(biāo)識(shí)使旅行更加艱難……

An airport in China made this special request of drivers: “Please confirm your car is licked.” Surely a car wash would suffice?

中國有個(gè)機(jī)場(chǎng)對(duì)司機(jī)提出了特殊的要求:“Please confirm your car is licked.(請(qǐng)確保您的車已經(jīng)舔過了。)”看來機(jī)場(chǎng)需要一個(gè)洗車行?

Meanwhile there was this eye-catching warning on a busy stretch of road inIndia: “Go slow – accident porn area.” Bet there were a few rubberneckers for that one...

而在印度一條繁忙的公路上有一個(gè)吸引眼球的提示：“Go slow – accident porn area.(事故色情區(qū)，請(qǐng)慢行。)”估計(jì)這附近看熱鬧的不少……

And you might get more than you bargain for on this Greek road, where a sign warns: “Parking is for bitten along the coastal road.” Ouch.

在希臘這條路上你可能會(huì)碰到不愉快的事情，因?yàn)槁访鏄?biāo)識(shí)寫著：“Parking is for bitten along the coastal road.(海岸公路泊車會(huì)被咬。)”噢，好疼!

Though driving has its pitfalls, things don't get much better on the trains. A notice on a toilet inChinareads: “Do not use toilet while train is in stable.” Where do the horses sleep, then?

雖說在路上開車有風(fēng)險(xiǎn)，坐火車也沒有好到哪兒去。中國一列火車的廁所這樣提醒：“Do not use toilet while train is in stable.(火車在馬廄的時(shí)候，請(qǐng)不要使用衛(wèi)生間。)”火車占了馬廄，那馬上哪兒睡覺去?

Don't think about smoking if you are a fully fledged adult travelling inMonrovia,Liberia. There, a notice reads: “Dear passengers, please be tiny when using ashtrays.”

不要認(rèn)為你是成年人就可以吸煙，在利比里亞蒙羅維亞市，有一條標(biāo)語：“Dear passengers, please be tiny when using ashtrays.(親愛的旅客，在使用煙灰缸的時(shí)候，請(qǐng)變小。)”

And at a Chinese airport you may be in for something painful at the baggage drop. They call it: “Luggage disembowel.” It may well be better to keep your internal organs and take hand luggage – just to be on the safe side.

在中國的一個(gè)機(jī)場(chǎng)行李提取處，你可能會(huì)遇上很痛苦的事兒，他們管行李提取叫：“Luggage disembowel.(請(qǐng)給行李開膛破肚。)”為了安全起見，也為了保住你的內(nèi)臟，行李還是手提比較好。

Shopping slip-ups...

購物囧事……

Fancy a spot of shopping on your hols? Be careful what you buy...

想象美好的假期購物?要當(dāng)心……

Brits abroad don't have the best reputation but there's no need for this sign inPratap Pura,India: “AnusEnglishAcademy– no problem.”

我知道英國人在國外的名聲不是最好的，但是也沒必要這樣寫吧。印度普拉塔普神廟一條標(biāo)語寫著:“Anus English Academy– no problem.(肛門英語學(xué)院——沒問題。)”

A “Take free titty” notice in a women's clothes shop in China says is bound to attract the wrong clientele.

中國一家女裝店告示寫著：“Take free titty.(免費(fèi)乳房)”，這一定會(huì)引來“不一樣”的客人吧。

And someone was clearly having a bad day at work when they framed this picture of a cat with the caption, “My dog”.

商家給一個(gè)貓咪照片相框配的文字是“My dog(我的狗)”，裝訂這個(gè)相框的人那天上班的狀態(tài)是有多糟糕啊。

A shop selling Bavarian beer mugs in Munich,Germany, boasts “We sell beer stains”. We doubt they make much of a profit.

德國慕尼黑一家販賣巴伐利亞啤酒杯的商店，自夸道：“We sell beer stains(我們賣啤酒染色劑)”，我們深深懷疑他們能不能掙到錢。

A tailor inDubaicalled The In Trend didn't think it through – the labels on his garments read “TiT”.

迪拜的一家裁縫店不假思索就把“The In Trend(正當(dāng)潮流)”縮寫成“TiT(乳頭)”，然后貼在衣服的標(biāo)簽上。

One French sports shoe shop inAix-en-Provencemight need to rethink its name – Athlete's Foot.

一家位于法國普羅旺斯?？怂钩堑倪\(yùn)動(dòng)鞋店名“Athlete's Foot(香港腳)”，這店名要不要再斟酌一下?

We may talk the same language but that hasn't stopped oneUSclothes store coming up with this gem: “Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.”

盡管美國人和我們一樣都說英語，但是這也阻止不了一家美國服裝店想出的絕妙標(biāo)語：“Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.(便宜好貨這邊瞧，有16-17個(gè)脖子的男士都來看看)”

And this Kentucky store has another pearler: “Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machines do the dirty work.”

而肯塔基州的這家商店的標(biāo)語也是大放光彩：“Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machines do the dirty work.(別殺你老婆，這骯臟勾當(dāng)讓我店里的洗衣機(jī)干就行。)”

A Chinese bookshop must be trying to cash in on Middle Earth in a section for “Sports and hobbits”.

一家中國書店一定在設(shè)法利用中土世界賺錢，因?yàn)樗麄兊陜?nèi)的標(biāo)語寫著：“Sports and hobbits(運(yùn)動(dòng)與霍比特人)”

A Thai hotel jeweller has “Porn gems”. For the filthy rich perhaps?

一家泰國酒店珠寶商寫著：“Porn gems(色情寶石)”，可能是專為猥瑣的有錢人準(zhǔn)備的?

And a Thai beauty salon offers “A relaxing foot bath where you start with a special crime”. A bit of GBH before a foot rub, anyone?

還有一家泰國美容院提供“A relaxing foot bath where you start with a special crime(放松的足浴，從特定的犯罪開始。)”，腳底按摩前先來點(diǎn)重傷，有人要不?

Recipes for disaster...

菜單淪陷……

Eating out is one of the best parts of a holiday, unless your menu includes one of these unusual treats...

美食是度假中最美好的部分，除非你在菜單上看到這些奇葩菜名……

A restaurant in the Czech Republic offers: “Horses douvres.” Just say neigh.

捷克一家飯店提供:“Horses douvres.(馬式餐前點(diǎn)心)”來，學(xué)馬叫兩聲。

In Cadiz, Spain, “Roast Alf Partridge” is a firm favourite on the menu. Perhaps they couldn't catch Alan Partridge.

在西班牙的加迪斯，“Roast Alf Partridge(烤阿爾夫·帕特其)”是菜單上受人喜愛的一道菜，也許是因?yàn)樗麄冏ゲ坏桨瑐?middot;帕特其(譯者注：英國喜劇《阿爾法爸爸》中的主人公)”。

A jar of black raspberry jam in America: “Tastes Like Grandma.” We all love our grandmas but no one wants to eat her.

美洲的一種黑樹莓果醬瓶身上寫著：“Tastes Like Grandma.(外婆的味道)”，我們都愛外婆，可是我們不想吃掉她們。

One establishment in Beijing offers “Virgin chicken”. It's pure meat.

北京一家店提供“Virgin chicken(童子雞)”，其實(shí)全是肉。

Meanwhile, another China restaurant has “grilled sexual harassment” on its menu.

另外一家中國飯店的菜單上提供“grilled sexual harassment(烤性騷擾)”。

Which would go nicely with the “Lawyer Foam” that appeared on a menu in Madrid.

馬德里一份菜單上的“Lawyer Foam(律師泡沫)”跟樓上那條絕配。

A shortage of plates after the traditional plate smashing means one Greek restaurant may have had to find an unusual alternative going by this: “Fish on the eyelid.”

可能希臘一家餐館的盤子弄碎了不夠用，所以餐館需要找一個(gè)不尋常的替代品：“Fish on the eyelid.(盛在眼瞼上的魚肉)”。

“Please do not park in front of the sh**ter,” a sign in South Goa, India, warns. Probably sage advice as Delhi Belly can be rife among travellers.

印度果阿邦南部的一條警示標(biāo)語：“Please do not park in front of the sh**ter(請(qǐng)不要在廁所前泊車)”。也有道理啊，德里腹瀉可能會(huì)在游客之間傳播呢。

Hotel howlers...

酒店囧譯……

And things don't get much better after you check in...

登記入住后，情況并沒有好轉(zhuǎn)……

A sign in a hotel bathroom inFrancewarns guests: “Do not throw kidney in the toilet.” Does that mean a liver is allowed?

法國一家旅館的浴室寫著：“Do not throw kidney in the toilet.(不要把腎扔進(jìn)馬桶)”所以說，把肝扔馬桶里是可以的?

While this sign inKazakhstancertainly isn't going to encourage us to get our five a day: “There is a bowel of fruit in each room.” Yum.

哈薩克斯坦的這家旅館一定不鼓勵(lì)我們“一天五個(gè)”水果吃法：“There is a bowel of fruit in each room.(每個(gè)房間都有一腸子水果。)”真好吃啊。

A guest information booklet in aThailandhotel bedroom gives some very honest advice: “If you are thinking of hiring a car please drive carefully as all Thai drivers have a death wish.”

泰國一家旅館房間的賓客信息冊(cè)子給出了非常誠懇的建議：“If you are thinking of hiring a car please drive carefully as all Thai drivers have a death wish.(如果你想租車，要小心，每個(gè)泰國司機(jī)都想死。)”

Meanwhile, landscapers at a resort inAntiguaare getting out of hand, according to this sign: “Our gardeners work delinquently."

安提瓜島旅游勝地的園林綠化工已經(jīng)失控了，這條標(biāo)語告訴我們：“Our gardeners work delinquently.(我們的園丁消極怠工)”

In an Austrian skiing resort, one establishment tried to lay down the law about diners taking their meals upstairs to the restaurant: “It is not allowed to consume meals and drinks from our self-service restaurant!”

在奧地利的一個(gè)滑雪勝地，一家餐館試圖跟用餐者強(qiáng)調(diào)把食物帶到樓上餐廳去吃的規(guī)定，店里標(biāo)識(shí)寫道: “It is not allowed to consume meals and drinks from our self-service restaurant!(不許在我們的自助餐廳飲食!)”。(英文來源：英國《鏡報(bào)》)

Vocabulary:

howler: 愚蠢的錯(cuò)誤

indulge: 縱容

globe-trotting: 環(huán)球游覽

pitfalls: 隱藏的危險(xiǎn)

filthy: 下流的