卡卡英語(yǔ) 第117期:真正的傾聽(tīng)

所屬教程:卡卡早餐英語(yǔ)

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2018年10月29日

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今天分享的是一篇英語(yǔ)美文——真正的傾聽(tīng)。

True listening, total concentration on the other, is always a manifestation of love. An essential part of true listening is the discipline of bracketing, the temporary giving up or setting aside of one's own prejudices, frames of reference and desires so as to experience as far as possible the speaker's world from the inside, stepping inside his or her shoes. This unification of speaker and listener is actually an extension and enlargement of ourself, and new knowledge is always gained from this. Moreover, since true listening involves bracketing, a setting aside of the self, it also temporarily involves a total acceptance of the other. Sensing this acceptance, the speaker will feel less and less vulnerable and more and more inclined to open up the inner recesses of his or her mind to the listener. As this happens, speaker and listener begin to appreciate each other more and more, and the duet dance of love is again begun. The energy required for the discipline of bracketing and the focusing of total attention is so great that it can be accomplished only by love, by the will to extend oneself for mutual growth. Most of the time we lack this energy. Even though we may feel in our business dealings or social relationships that we are listening very hard, what we are usually doing is listening selectively, with a preset agenda in mind, wondering as we listen how we can achieve certain desired results and get the conversation over with as quickly as possible or redirected in ways more satisfactory to us.

真正的傾聽(tīng)，意味著把注意力放在他人身上，它是愛(ài)的具體表現(xiàn)形式。此時(shí)，傾聽(tīng)者能夠暫時(shí)把個(gè)人想法和欲望放在一旁，盡可能地體會(huì)說(shuō)話(huà)者的感受。說(shuō)話(huà)者和傾聽(tīng)者都能感受到愛(ài)的力量，進(jìn)而都能實(shí)現(xiàn)自我完善。傾聽(tīng)者把注意力放在對(duì)方的話(huà)語(yǔ)上，會(huì)使說(shuō)話(huà)者心有靈犀，更為坦誠(chéng)，更愿把心靈全部敞開(kāi)，而不是有所隱藏。這能增進(jìn)雙方的理解和信任，心心相印，共同跳起愛(ài)的“雙人芭蕾舞”。這是耗費(fèi)精力的過(guò)程，而且須以愛(ài)為出發(fā)點(diǎn)?；诠餐砷L(zhǎng)、自我完善的意愿，才能夠達(dá)到傾聽(tīng)的目的。但是，我們通常缺少傾聽(tīng)的能力。不管是在商務(wù)活動(dòng)還是在社交生活中，長(zhǎng)時(shí)間傾聽(tīng)他人講話(huà)，是叫人難受的事。我們只是有選擇地傾聽(tīng)，頭腦中早已有優(yōu)先項(xiàng)目安排，所以，我們總是一邊傾聽(tīng)，一邊想著怎樣盡快達(dá)到目的，怎樣使談話(huà)盡早結(jié)束。我們也常常轉(zhuǎn)移話(huà)題，靈活地把談話(huà)主旨加以調(diào)整，以便讓自己感到滿(mǎn)意。

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