—個英文網(wǎng)站面向中學生征稿請你寫一篇英語稿件,介紹“中秋節(jié)”及這個節(jié)日里的主要活動。
1. 寫作要點:它是中國的傳統(tǒng)節(jié)日之一;
2. 家人團聚;
3. 賞月、吃月餅;
4. 還有旅游、訪友等其他活動。
注意:1.詞數(shù)100左右;
2. 可以適當增加細節(jié),以使行文連貫;
3. 開頭語已為你寫好,不計入總詞數(shù)。
【參考范文】
The Mid-Autumn Festival
The Mid-Autumn Festival falls on the 15th of the eighth month of our Chinese lunarcalendar. As one of the traditional Chinese festivals, it has been enjoying great popularity in our country. Usually, no matter how far away or how busy we are, we will try to come home for the celebration. The moon that night looks the brightest in the whole lunar month. What we love most is the time we enjoy the full moon together. With the beautiful moon up in the sky, we sit togetherand eat moon cakes and fruit, sharing our stories. In addition to these traditional activities, we have a wider range of choices such as travelling andvisiting our relatives or friends。
老師點評:
任務(wù)達成:完整完成了介紹中秋節(jié)的任務(wù),覆蓋了所有內(nèi)容。
單 詞:使用廣泛的詞匯來表達,其中有fall on, lunar calendar, enjoy great popularity, celebration, in addition, tradictional,range, relative等高級詞匯。
語法結(jié)構(gòu):使用了多種多樣的語法結(jié)構(gòu),有as+名詞作狀語的結(jié)構(gòu),有has been enjoying現(xiàn)在完成進行時態(tài), no matter引導(dǎo)的讓步狀語從句,有what we love most的主語從句,和它后面的定語從句,with+名詞的狀語,-ing的非謂成分等等。
連 接: 使用了一些連接詞匯或短語: As, Usually,in addition to,但是整體的行文推進還不夠流暢,沒有分段,句與句之間的連接不夠自然,扣1分。
整體得分:24-25分。
修改后
The Mid-Autumn Festival
TheMid-Autumn Festival falls on the 15th of the eighth month of our Chinese lunarcalendar. As one of the traditional Chinese festivals, it has been enjoying great popularity for its celebration of family reunion(增加此項內(nèi)容,使得后面的句子連起來更自然). Usually,no matter how far away or how busy we are, we will try to come home for the festival. The moon thatnight looks the brightest in the whole lunar month(此句是好句,但是放在此處,稍顯突兀,所以可以考慮放到后面).
(另起一段,講節(jié)日的慶祝方式)
What we love most in the festival(連接上面的段落) is the time we get together to enjoy the full moon, which looks the brightest in the whole lunar month(把第一段最后一句移到此處). With the beautiful moon up in the sky, we sit together and eat moon cakes and fruit,sharing our stories. In addition to these traditional activities, we have a wider range of choices such as travelling and visiting our relatives or friends。