生活大爆炸第七季:第5集:損友一枚謝耳朵(上)
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Awkward silence. Sheldon on his phone.
尷尬的沉默，謝爾頓只顧玩手機(jī)
No touching. Somebody's having date night.
無(wú)肢體觸摸，有些小伙伴迎來(lái)了約會(huì)之夜
It's actually steamier than it looks.
可比你想的惹火多了
Sheldon's looking up the phallic symbolism of root vegetables in Renaissance paintings.
謝爾頓正在查閱文藝復(fù)興畫(huà)作中植物根莖的陽(yáng)物崇拜符號(hào)
Oh, no, I got bored with that. I'm just browsing cuticle scissors on Amazon.
我沒(méi)在看那個(gè)了，看得有點(diǎn)無(wú)聊，我正亞馬遜上看死皮剪
How do you not tear off his clothes and take him right here on this table?
你怎么還沒(méi)扒了他的衣服，就地辦了他?
If you do that, I'll scream.
你要是這樣我就喊了
Sheldon, I have some exciting news to tell you.
謝爾頓我有好消息和你分享
That makes two of us.
我也是喲
My new cuticle scissors will be here in one to two business days.
一到兩個(gè)工作日內(nèi)我的新死皮剪就送上門(mén)咯
Come on, one.
求你了，一天吧
I've been invited to consult on an experiment at your university for a few months.
貴校邀請(qǐng)我做實(shí)驗(yàn)顧問(wèn)將持續(xù)幾個(gè)月
Isn't that great?
激動(dòng)吧?
We could have lunch together. We could carpool.
我們可以共進(jìn)午餐，搭伴上下班
You know, riding with Leonard has gotten a little tedious lately.
確實(shí)，與萊納德同車(chē)愈來(lái)愈無(wú)趣了
Th-The only car game he ever wants to play is the Quiet Game.
他唯一愿意玩的車(chē)內(nèi)游戲就是"安靜游戲"
And he's terrible at it. I always win.
還是個(gè)常敗將軍，我贏得都不愛(ài)贏了
So, you're okay with this?
就是說(shuō)，你答應(yīng)咯?
Well, why wouldn't I be?
為什么不?
Well, this project would have us working in close proximity to one another. And
由于此次項(xiàng)目我們的辦公地點(diǎn)將會(huì)非常接近
there's the vulgar adage that one should not defecate where one eats.
俗話(huà)說(shuō)進(jìn)食的地方不出屎
My father used to say that all the time.
這是我爸的口頭禪
That and, um, "Who does one have to orally gratify to get a drink around here?"
還有那句，"要用嘴滿(mǎn)足誰(shuí)，才能有酒喝?"
But what does that have to do with you working at the university?
但這和你來(lái)我們學(xué)校工作有關(guān)系嗎?
Sheldon, "Don't defecate where you eat," means don't have a romantic relationship in the workplace. Really? Yes.
謝爾頓那句老話(huà)的意思是辦公的地方不戀愛(ài)。真的?是啊
Huh. Yeah, I always took it literally.
有點(diǎn)意思，我一直當(dāng)字面意思理解來(lái)著
That's why I have never once moved my bowels in this or any restaurant. Hmm.
害得我從未在任何飯店解決過(guò)三急。后知后覺(jué)
I'm relieved that you don't have a problem with us working together.
既然你對(duì)我們倆一起工作沒(méi)異議我便寬慰了
Not as relieved as I'm about to be.
我才要去寬"胃"呢
It's a brave new world, little lady.
丫頭，這是個(gè)隨"便"的世界
Are you crazy? You don't want your girlfriend at work with you.
你腦子短路了吧?你絕對(duì)不會(huì)想和女友共事
Hell Clam.
陰間蛤
Why not?
干嘛不想?
Hairy Fairy.
長(zhǎng)毛仙子
I think it could be romantic.
我覺(jué)得挺浪漫
You know, my parents met at his place of work.
我父母就是在工作時(shí)看對(duì)眼的
Your father's a gynecologist.
你爸是婦科醫(yī)生啊
I know. What started as a pap smear turned into a date.
我知道啊，本來(lái)就是個(gè)子宮頸抹片檢查變成了約會(huì)
Which turned into her working there, which turned into marriage, which then turned into hatred, which continues to this day.
又演變成她在那工作，再變成結(jié)婚，再變成相互憎惡，一直延續(xù)至今
Two-Eyed Cyclops. Would you please tell him this isn't a good idea?
雙目獨(dú)眼巨怪，麻煩你能告訴他這是個(gè)餿主意么?
No, no, I think it'll be great.
不不，我覺(jué)得挺好
Maybe next time he gets conjunctivitis at work, she can hold his head and try to put the drops in his eyes. Giant baby.
也許下次他工作時(shí)得了結(jié)膜炎，她可以按住他的頭，往他眼睛滴眼藥水，巨嬰(諷刺)
That's a Raging Ogre.
那是張惱怒食人魔
Yeah, I know.
嗯，我知道
I'm just saying, I'd never want to work with Bernadette.
我可不想和伯納黛特一起工作
Can you imagine seeing someone all day long and then you're supposed to hang out with them after work, too?
你能想象你一整天看見(jiàn)某人，結(jié)果工作完還得和她待在一起嗎?
Hold on. We do that all the time.
等等，我們不就是這樣么
You and I work together and play together.
你和我一起工作一起玩
Yeah, I know, and it drove me into the arms of another woman.
我知道，所以我才投入了另一個(gè)女人的懷抱
Bipolar Bear.
兩極熊
Well, I appreciate your concern, but I won't be seeing any more of Amy than I already do.
我感謝你的關(guān)心，但是我不會(huì)跟艾米有更進(jìn)一步的接觸(雙關(guān))
I assume we'll deduct any extra time we spend together at work from our weekly quota.
我想我們會(huì)把工作中的見(jiàn)面時(shí)間從每周的定額時(shí)間中扣除
Please let me be there when you tell her that.
當(dāng)你跟她講的時(shí)候，請(qǐng)務(wù)必讓我在場(chǎng)
Why? So you can see the look on Amy's face when she hears my top-notch idea?
為什么?這樣你就能看見(jiàn)艾米聽(tīng)見(jiàn)，我的絕頂好主意時(shí)欣喜的表情么?
Please, oh, please, just let me be there.
求你了，求你了，一定要讓我在場(chǎng)
So, Amy, what are you gonna be working on at Caltech?
艾米，你要在加州理工研究什么呢?
I'm leading a study to see if deficiency of the monoamine oxidase enzyme leads to paralyzing fear in monkeys.
我將帶領(lǐng)團(tuán)隊(duì)研究單胺氧化酶的缺失是否會(huì)導(dǎo)致猴子精神崩潰
Oh. If they're anything like humans, the answer's yes.
噢，如果它們有一絲像人類(lèi)，答案就是肯定的
Wait, you've-you've done this experiment on humans?
你已經(jīng)做過(guò)對(duì)人體的實(shí)驗(yàn)了?
You mean like death row inmates with nothing to lose? No, that would be unethical.
你指的是那些沒(méi)什么可損失的死囚犯么?不，要這樣也太不道德了
You know, not a lot of people know this, but the monoamine oxidase enzyme was discovered by a woman, Mary Bernheim.
很多人都不知道這個(gè)單胺氧化酶是由一位名叫瑪麗·伯恩海姆的女性發(fā)現(xiàn)的
That's right. My phone is just as smart as you guys.
這就對(duì)了，我的手機(jī)跟你們倆一樣聰明哦
Amy Bernadette Penny. Amy Bernadette Penny. Amy Bernadette Penny.
艾米,伯納黛特,佩妮。艾米,伯納黛特,佩妮。艾米,伯納黛特,佩妮。
He's never gonna stop doing that, is he?
他是永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)停的，是吧?
I don't mind. I'm hoping to put his love of repetition to good use someday.
我不介意，我正希望他對(duì)重復(fù)的熱愛(ài)有一天能用在該用的地方
Hi. Um... I've reconsidered. Uh, you can't work where I work.
你好，嗯...我重新考慮了下，你不能在我那工作
Enjoy the rest of your evening.
祝你們晚上愉快
Sheldon, I-I already signed the contract.
謝爾頓，我...我已經(jīng)簽了合同了
I cashed a check.
支票也兌現(xiàn)了
Mmm... you are not going to come out of this looking good.
嗯...你毀了約可不會(huì)有好果子吃的
Sheldon, I don't understand. I thought you said you were fine with it.
謝爾頓，我就不明白了，你不是說(shuō)過(guò)你不介意的
Well, I was. But that was before Howard explained to me how awful it would be if he had to work with his significant other.
我之前是不介意，但是霍華德向我解釋?zhuān)绻退牧硪话胍黄鸸ぷ鲿?huì)有多么糟糕
He said what?
這小子說(shuō)什么?
Now, don't be insulted. He just thinks too much of you would be mind-numbingly tedious.
哦，他沒(méi)有對(duì)你不敬的意思啊，他就是認(rèn)為老是看見(jiàn)你會(huì)非常無(wú)聊而已
Excuse me, I need to have a chat with my husband.
抱歉，我得和我老公好好聊聊
Yeah, well, now, well... keep it short.
好吧，盡量言簡(jiǎn)意賅啊
Fr-From what I gather, brevity is your friend.
從我的了解來(lái)看，短小精悍是你的摯友啊
So, are we good here?
那么，我們沒(méi)事了吧?
No, we're not good here. I am working on this project.
不，我們還沒(méi)完呢，我要做這個(gè)項(xiàng)目研究
Yeah, and you can't tell her what she can and cannot do.
是啊，你沒(méi)權(quán)利告訴她該做什么不該做什么
Last week, you told Leonard he couldn't wear his Wookiee jacket out in public.
上周，你還告訴萊納德不能在公共場(chǎng)所穿他的伍基人夾克呢
That's different.
這可不一樣
I'm not going to the mall with someone dressed dumb space bear.
我才不要和穿得像愚蠢太空熊的人去商場(chǎng)
Sheldon, you don't have to worry about me bothering you. I'll be in a different building. And we don't even have to have lunch together.
謝爾頓，你不用擔(dān)心我會(huì)打擾你，我會(huì)在另一幢大樓工作，我們也不必一起吃午餐
Really? Yes. Before all things, I'm a scientist.
真的嗎?是的，最重要的是，我是個(gè)科學(xué)家
I'm just there to do my work and, with a little luck, scare the living crap out of some monkeys.
我只是來(lái)這做好我的工作，如果走運(yùn)的話(huà)可以成功嚇崩潰些猴子
Hmm. You sure your mothlike personality won't be drawn to this blazing fire that is myself?
嗯，你確定你飛蛾一樣的性格不會(huì)撲向我這團(tuán)熊熊燃燒的烈火么?
More and more sure.
確定一定以及肯定
Well, then, you have my permission.
好吧，既然如此，那我同意了
I didn't ask for your permission. Too late. No backsies.
我沒(méi)征求你的許可，后悔已經(jīng)晚了
No, no, listen to me. Sheldon misunderstood.
不不，聽(tīng)我說(shuō)，謝爾頓誤會(huì)了
What I meant was, if we worked together, there'd be too much of me for you, not the other way around.
我的意思是，如果我們一起工作，我怕你對(duì)我審美疲勞，不是反過(guò)來(lái)那樣
Howard, if you're going to lie to your wife, don't start the sentence with "Sheldon misunderstood."
霍華德如果你想騙你老婆的話(huà)，別以"謝爾頓誤會(huì)了"作開(kāi)場(chǎng)白
That's a dead giveaway. Well?
那可是死路一條。你看吧?
Okay, fine. I did say that, and I think it's true. I think if we worked together and lived together, we'd get sick of each other.
好吧，我招了，我確實(shí)講過(guò)，我也覺(jué)得沒(méi)錯(cuò)，我認(rèn)為如果我們一起工作又一起生活就會(huì)互相厭倦對(duì)方
Yeah, but to be fair, he only said the part about him getting sick of you. For the love of God, why?!
是的，不過(guò)說(shuō)句公道話(huà)，他只是說(shuō)了他會(huì)對(duì)你厭倦那部分，我的老天，你干嘛這么對(duì)我?!
What exactly do you think you'd get sick of?
到底什么方面會(huì)讓你感到厭倦?
His only options here are to fake a heart attack or have a real one.
他唯一的選擇就是假裝得了心臟病，或者正兒八經(jīng)得了
It-it's nothing in particular. I...
沒(méi)有特別厭倦的方面，我...
Is it my voice? Am I too bossy?
是我的聲音嗎?聽(tīng)起來(lái)太頤指氣使了?
My arm is feeling numb.
我胳膊開(kāi)始麻了
Nailed it.
來(lái)了
That's the wrong arm for a heart attack, doofus.
心臟病可不是這個(gè)胳膊麻，蠢蛋
My point is, I'm sure there are things about me that would drive you crazy if you had to deal with them all day long.
我的意思是，要是你整天和我在一起，總是面對(duì)我這一身的毛病，還不得把你逼瘋
Like looking me in the eye and lying to me?
比如當(dāng)著我的面撒謊?
Oh, well, come on, I just... Where am I supposed to look when I lie to you?
拜托，我我...不然我撒謊的時(shí)候該看哪里嘛?
Find somewhere else to sleep tonight.
今晚自己找地方睡吧
Bernie... If it makes you feel any better, Amy and I are fine.
妮妮啊...如果能讓你好受點(diǎn)，我和艾米沒(méi)事
I mean, really good.
應(yīng)該說(shuō)，非常好
So, boys, how was the pajama party?
兄弟們，睡衣派對(duì)怎么樣?
You guys jump on the bed and sing into hair brushes?
你們?cè)诖采戏v，用梳子當(dāng)麥歌唱?
It wasn't a pajama party. It was just a couple of bros hanging out, giggling, eating cookie dough and watching Princess Bride.
那不是睡衣派對(duì)，是哥們幾個(gè)呆在一起，說(shuō)說(shuō)笑笑，吃吃曲奇餅，看看《公主新娘》
Please, stop talking.
拜托別說(shuō)話(huà)了
As you wish.
已如你所愿(暗諷華仔夫婦)
I mean, you know, Sheldon, none of this would've happened Sheldon if I hadn't tried to help you.
要不是我好心幫你，也不會(huì)有這一出
Uh, it also wouldn't have happened if, in the early universe, hydrogen was a little more common or a little less common.
要是在宇宙早期，氫含量更高或更低點(diǎn)，這事也不會(huì)發(fā)生
This is fun. Your turn.
笑話(huà)不錯(cuò)，輪到你了
Gentlemen. Hey, Amy. Hello.
各位好，你好，艾米。好呀
That was kind of icy.
氣氛有點(diǎn)僵
You two okay?
你們沒(méi)事嗎?
Oh, we're fine.
沒(méi)事
As Howard advised, she's merely respecting our professional boundaries. Smart.
如霍華德建議，她只是在保持職業(yè)性距離。有見(jiàn)地
Take relationship advice from a man who spent last night braiding Raj's hair.
從昨晚給拉杰編辮子（女生愛(ài)玩的小游戲）的男人那里聽(tīng)取感情建議
Yeah, you make a good point.
你說(shuō)得有理
It would appear I was worried for nothing.
看來(lái)我的擔(dān)心是多余的
Look at her, desperately wishing she was over here at the cool table.
你們看她多么渴望能坐在我們拉風(fēng)的這桌
Don't worry, little moth.
別擔(dān)心，小飛蛾
The flame will come to you.
熱情之火向你撲來(lái)
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