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Previously, on The Big Bang Theory...
前情提要...
Hello.
您好
I'm looking for Howard Wolowitz.
我想找Howard Wolowitz
May I ask what this is about?
我能問下您找他有什么事嗎?
No, you may not.
我不能告訴你
Very well.
好吧
Hi... Colonel Williams.
您好... Willians上校
How can I help you?
我能為您做點什么?
O... Okay.
好...好的
Sure, I can meet with you on Thursday.
星期四我有空
Caltech is fine.
就定在加州理工吧
Yeah, may I ask what this is about?
我能問問這次會面是關(guān)于什么事嗎?
I may not?
不行?
That's what he said to me.
他也是這么跟我說的
Look at this.
你看這個
Elon Musk has a theory that we're all just characters
Paypal聯(lián)合創(chuàng)始人,特斯拉總裁,Elon Musk說,我們有可能都是
in some advanced civilization's video game.
游戲里的角色,是高級物種在操控我們
So some alien kid spent his money
所以某個外星小盆友
on the asthmaandglasses upgrade for me?
花錢給買了我的哮喘設(shè)定和眼鏡外觀?
Well, he doesn't say it's a good game.
他倒也沒說這是個好游戲
All right, we got a problem.
嘿,我們攤上事了
What's up?
怎么了?
The Air Force contacted me about our quantum gyroscope.
空軍的人聯(lián)系到我,想問我們關(guān)于量子漩渦的事
They want to have a meeting.
他想和我面談
Really?
真的?
Yeah. This military guy showed up at Howard's door.
是啊,那個部隊的人直接找到了Howard家門口
He was terrifying.
特別嚇人
Oh, what did he say?
他說什么了?
He gave me his business card
他給了我一張名片
and asked me to please pass it along to Howard.
說,請把名片轉(zhuǎn)交給Howard
That doesn't sound terrifying.
這到底哪里嚇人了
To a white guy born here, no.
對于你們這種白人來說確實沒什么
If you are a brown guy whose name has
但我是個棕色皮膚的人
a lot of syllables in it... terrifying.
名字還有好多音節(jié)...很嚇人啊
You realize if the military declares our research classified,
你有沒有想過,如果軍隊把我們的研究列為機密的話
they can take the whole thing away from us.
他們就可以全權(quán)接管這項研究
And if that happens,
如果真的是這樣的話
we'll never be able to sell it commercially.
我們就不能用它賣錢了
There goes our big payday. I was counting
這可是一大筆錢呢
on that money... I need to make as much as my wife
我還想...有了這筆錢我就和我老婆掙得一樣多了
so I don't have to try so hard in bed.
也省的我只能在床上用盡全力
You do that, too?
你和我一樣?
Oh, yeah. How do you think I stay this thin?
是啊,不然你以為我是怎么保持身材的?
Gentlemen, I think we are losing sight of the real issue.
各位,我們跑題了
We are on the precipice of becoming faceless cogs
我們馬上就要成為在軍工集團中
in the militaryindustrial complex.
默默無聞的無名英雄了
Isn't that exciting?
這簡直太贊了,對嗎?
You're kidding, right?
你開什么玩笑?
Not at all. In Star Wars, when the stormtroopers
我認真的,在星球大戰(zhàn)里
would march in perfect formation,
每次突擊士兵排著整齊的隊伍
harassing civilians, didn't you ever think,
進攻騷擾百姓時,你們有沒有想過
"Hey, that could be me"?
"我也可以成為那一員"?
Sheldon, we could be contributing Sheldon
我們的研究成果可能會被當做武器
to a weapons system that oppresses mankind
在未來的一千年里
for the next thousand years.
用于壓迫我們的同類
Okay, Howard's on board. What do you think, Leonard?
真棒,Howard也想明白了,Leonard你怎么看?
Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state
宇宙一度又燙又稠密,
Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait!
140億年前終于爆了炸...等著瞧!
The Earth began to cool
地球開始降溫,
The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools
自養(yǎng)生物來起哄,穴居人發(fā)明工具,
We built the Wall We built the pyramids
我們建長城,我們建金字塔,
Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery
數(shù)學,自然科學,歷史,揭開神秘,
That all started with a big bang
一切由大爆炸開始,
I'm worried about Howard. Ever since that guy
我有點擔心Howard了
from the Air Force showed up, he's been a nervous wreck.
自從那個空軍的人來了之后,他就緊張的要死
All right, we work at a giant pharmaceutical company.
別擔心,咱們都是在制藥公司工作的人
Get him some antianxiety meds.
隨便給他找點抗抑郁的藥就好啦
He won't take any pills that aren't chewable
他只吃可以嚼服的
and shaped like a Flintstone.
彩色兒童藥片
You know, when Leonard's feeling anxious
你知道嗎,每次Leonard焦慮的時候
I make him take a long walk.
我就讓他出去散步
Does that help?
管用嗎?
Well, for a while. Then he comes back.
能管用一會,但是他一會就回來了
I don't believe this.
太過分了
What's wrong?
怎么了?
This guy from the office just congratulated me
辦公室有人發(fā)短信
on being pregnant.
祝賀我懷孕了
You did already know, right?
你應該知道你懷孕了吧?
No one at the office did.
辦公室里應該沒人知道的啊
Did you tell anyone?
你有沒有告訴別人?
No. You told me not to.
沒有啊,你不是讓我別說嗎
I bet it was Barbara Chen in retrovirus.
肯定是逆轉(zhuǎn)錄酶病毒部門的Barbara Chen
She might have heard me throwing up one morning.
她可能聽見我晨吐的聲音了
Every since she got
自從帶上助聽器之后
the hearing aid, she thinks she's so great.
她就覺得自己的耳朵最好用
Why don't you want anyone to know?
你為什么不想讓別人知道?
Because I'm up for a major immunotherapy study,
因為我馬上要去參加一個免疫療法的研究
and if they find out I'm pregnant
要是他們知道我懷孕了的話
they might give it to someone else.
可能就會讓別人代替我了
Would they really do that?
他們會這樣嗎?
I know they would... they did it to Barbara Chen last year
我知道他們會...去年我告訴大家Barbara Chen懷孕了
when I told everyone she was pregnant.
后來他們就是這么對她的
Wail till I Snapchat that my friends might be working
等下,我要發(fā)Snapchat讓別人都知道,我朋友的工作
on a top secret government project.
可能是政府高級機密
Are you crazy?
你瘋了嗎?
You can't put that on Snapchat.
這種事不能發(fā)到Snapchat的啊
Fine, I'll put it on Facebook like a caveman.
好吧,那我就像山頂洞人一樣發(fā)個Facebook吧
You know, maybe before our meeting
我覺得和他們見面之前
we should talk to a lawyer.
我們應該先找個律師聊聊
That's not a bad idea.
有道理
Well, you must have someone in your family that's a lawyer.
你家里一定有親戚是律師吧
Why? Because I'm Jewish?
為什么?就因為我是猶太人?
That's like me saying, "Hey, you're Indian.
這么說的話,"你是印度人
Doesn't your cousin work in a call center?"
那你一定有個做電話客服的表哥了?"
My cousin does work in a call center.
我表哥確實是接電話的
And my cousin's a lawyer.
好吧,我堂弟確實是律師
We don't need Howard's cousin, no.
我們用不著找Howard的堂弟啊
We have me.
有哥就夠了
You're not a lawyer, Sheldon, you're just a knowitall.
你不是律師,Sheldon你只是個萬事通
I am not a knowitall.
我不是萬事通
I'm a person who knows lots of things
我只是個上知天文下知地理
and likes to correct other people when they're wrong.
而且樂于糾正別人的錯誤的人
That's the definition of being a knowitall.
萬事通的定義正是如此
Or in German, a Besserwisser.
或者用德語來說,智者是也
How did you think you were gonna hide your pregnancy?
你怎么會覺得能隱瞞自己懷孕的事呢?
I had a plan... I kept leaving Dove Bar wrappers around
姐是有計劃的...我把德芙巧克力包裝紙放得到處都是
to explain any weight gain.
用來解釋我長肉的原因
Where did you get empty Dove Bar wrappers?
你去哪里找德芙的包裝紙?
From all the Dove Bars I ate! I'm pregnant!
當然是姐吃完留下的!姐可是孕婦!
Try to keep up!
大腦能不能不要這么短路!
I'm sorry. I... I have to go find out
抱歉,我...必須去試探試探我老板
if my boss knows.
知不知道這件事
Well, whatever happens, we're here for you.
好吧,無論發(fā)生什么,我們都是你最堅強的后盾
Thanks. You guys are the best.
謝謝,你們最好了
Yeah, drive safe. We love you. And give us a call...
開車小心,愛你哦,別忘了給我們打電話
Oh, my God, it was me, it was me!
天了嚕,是我,是我干的!
I'm the one who blabbed she was pregnant!
是我把她懷孕的事說出去的!
What?!
什么?!
I didn't mean to. It just slipped out
我不是故意的,就是有一天在
in front of her assistant one day. I...
她助理面前說漏嘴了,我...
I forgot my coat.
我忘了拿我的外套
Oh! Here's your coat, honey.
噢!外套給你,寶貝
That's such a cute jacket.
這件外套真是美呆了
Oh...
噢...
God, I feel so bad... I just lied to her.
天啊,這感覺太糟了...我剛剛對她說謊了
Oh, but you did it so well.
是啊,但你表現(xiàn)堪稱完美啊
That's amazing!
影后舍你其誰啊!
It's like watching a sculptor,
這簡直就是個藝術(shù)品
but your clay was lies.
謊言就是你的杰作
Is that really what's important right now?
現(xiàn)在這些不重要好嗎?
I mean, seriously, you have got to let me scan your brain
我說真的,下次你撒謊的時候一定要讓我掃描你的大腦
when you're being dishonest so I can see what lights up.
我要看看到底是哪個區(qū)域有反應
That's super helpful, Amy.
那真是幫了我大忙啊,Amy
Thanks a lot. I can't wait to do that.
真是謝謝你,我真是等不及了
I can see a clump of bitch cells lightin' up from here.
我已經(jīng)可以看見一堆賤人細胞在閃閃發(fā)光了
Give me a second to call my cousin.
我馬上就打給我表哥
I don't see how a tax lawyer from Fort Lauderdale
我真不明白一個勞德代爾堡的稅務律師
could be helpful regarding intellectual property.
怎么能幫我們知識產(chǎn)權(quán)方面的問題
First of all, he's in Boca Raton,
首先,他住在波卡拉頓
which is better than Fort Lauderdale.
比勞德代爾堡那破地方好多了
But more importantly,
更重要的是
he lasted two days on Jeopardy,
他在,"危險邊緣"里撐了兩天
so he's clearly a smart guy.
所以他顯然很聰明
Hello.
你好
Hey, Marty. Thanks for talking to us.
嘿,Marty謝謝你能接受我們的咨詢
Hey, no problem.
別客氣
Thanks for going to outer space so no matter what I do
謝謝你去了外太空,這樣無論我做什么
my mom will be disappointed in me.
我媽都不會對我滿意了
Well, I married a little Catholic girl, so we're even.
這個嘛,我娶了個天主教的妞,所以我們扯平了
Anyway, this is Leonard and Sheldon.
言歸正傳,這是Leonard和Sheldon
The three of us came up with the guidance system.
我們?nèi)齻€人研發(fā)出了導航系統(tǒng)
Hi. Hello. And this is my friend, Raj.
你好, 你好, 這是我的朋友,Raj
Oh, I'm not on the patent. I'm just here
這個專利跟我沒什么關(guān)系,我在這里
because there's a bumblebee in my office.
是因為我辦公室里有只大黃蜂
I saw it. It's big.
我看到了,確實很大
Anyway, like I said in the email,
就像我在郵件里說的
this meeting's on Thursday.
這次會面安排在星期四
Do you have any advice for us?
你有什么建議嗎?
Well, I don't know much about patent law.
我對專利法不是特別了解
But, uh, my advice is:
但我的建議是:
hear them out, offer as little information as possible,
聽他說完,盡可能少地提供信息
and whatever you do, don't sign anything.
無論你做什么,絕對不要簽任何文件
"Don't sign anything"? That's your advice?
"不要簽任何文件"?這就是你的建議?
Okay, so, uh, if during this meeting,
好吧,如果在這次會面中
one of us were to, say, complete an oil painting,
假設(shè)我們中的一個人,畫完了一幅畫
you'd recommend that we leave that unsigned?
你建議我們名也不簽就把它放在那兒嗎?
That's not what I meant.
我不是這個意思
That's what you said.
你就是這么說的
That's not what I meant.
我不是這個意思
This must be how you practice law
你在波卡拉頓就是這么
in Boca Raton, by saying things you don't mean
幫人打官司的吧,言不由衷
and meaning things you don't say.
口是心非
Howard, why is he yelling at me? Howard
這貨沖我吼什么?
All right, you were on Jeopardy.
假設(shè)你在,"危機邊緣"節(jié)目現(xiàn)場
Allow me to Alex Trebek this and put it in the form of a question:
你當我是Alex Trebek我現(xiàn)在這么問你:
Who has been a complete waste of our time?
到底是誰在浪費我們的時間?
Marty, let me call you back. Marty
我過會兒再打給你
Someday, when I'm up on murder charges,
未來的某一天,如果我面臨人命官司
you'll be hearing from me.
你一定是我的不二人選
You don't need him. I'll represent you.
找他做什么,你有我就夠了
Hi. Hey. What brings you by?
嗨, 什么風把你吹來了?
Oh, had to go to a sales seminar on our new sleeping pill.
我去了一個關(guān)于我們新的安眠藥的研討會
Oh. How was it?
哦,怎么樣啊?
Great.
很不錯
Fell asleep?
聽睡著了?
In, like, two minutes. Yeah.
分分鐘入眠
So, how is everything going around here?
你這里怎么樣了?
Are you still upset about people finding out you're pregnant?
還在因為大家知道你懷孕的事情生氣嗎?
I'm furious.
氣死老娘了
Sure, sure.
理解,理解
Uh, did you ever figure out who told?
你找到那個長舌婦了嗎?
No. I confronted Barbara Chen, but she claimed
沒,我去找Barbara Chen對質(zhì)了,但她說
she didn't know what I was talking about.
她完全不知道我再說什么
Hmm. Well, I guess it's just gonna remain a mystery,
我想這恐怕會成為個謎了
you know, like whatever happened in that seminar
你懂吧,就像那個研討會上關(guān)燈以后
after they dimmed the lights.
發(fā)生的一樣
It had to be Barbara.
肯定是Barbara干的
I've been trying to figure out a way to get back at her.
我一直在想到底要怎么報復回去
Do you think
你覺得
using her work computer to Google
用她的工作專用電腦Google一下
"how to be a prostitute" is over the line?
"如何成為妓女"會不會有點過了?
Uh, you know, when I was
你知道嗎,當年我
in high school, there was this girl who was talking about me
還在上高中的時候,有個女生一直在我背后
behind my back, so me and all my friends,
說三道四的,所以我和我的小伙伴
we cornered her in the bathroom and forgave her.
把她逼到廁所的墻角里然后,原諒了她
What kind of revenge is that?
這算哪門子的復仇啊?
This woman screwed with my job. She's got to pay.
這個女人毀了我的工作,她必須得付出代價
Okay, all right, honey, you know what?
好吧,行了,親愛的,你知道嗎?
There was something I was too scared to tell you yesterday,
有件事我昨天因為太害怕了沒敢告訴你
a... and now... I'm just ballsout terrified to tell you, but...
但是現(xiàn)在...跟你說這事都要嚇出翔了,但是...
the truth is it...
事實上真相就是...
wasn't Barbara Chen, it was me.
說了這事的不是Barbara Chen而是我
I'm the reason everyone knows.
我才是大家都知道你懷孕的原因
Why did you do that?
你為什么要這么干啊?
Well, it was an accident. I am so sorry I lied.
可是那只是個意外,真是太對不起了,我對你撒謊了
Get out.
出去