Well, this is super awkward.
這真是尷尬到爆。
Stupid Kardashians!
卡戴珊一家全是白癡!
Kim, Kankels, Krank, and the little ones, kegel and kickball, You can kiss my keister.
金,金胖腳踝,金壞脾氣,還有那兩個小的金縮陰術(shù)和金踢蛋蛋,快來親老娘的金屁股吧。
Max, stop it! I'm trying to sleep.
麥克斯,別鬧了,我想睡覺呢。
Well, sorry, but I'm pissed and it's 11:30 anyway. What's going on?
抱歉,但我很生氣,現(xiàn)在都早上11點半了。你還躺在床上干嘛呢?
Even one tweet from Kim would have exposed us to 22 million followers. Scientology doesn't even have those numbers. They screwed us. - I know.
即使金·卡戴珊只發(fā)一條推特也會有2200萬名粉絲知道我們。就連科學(xué)神教都沒這么多腦殘粉呢。咱們成不了名都怪她們。-我知道。
That is why I'm making hate cupcakes for the Kardashians, see?
所以我今天為卡戴珊家族做了仇恨小蛋糕,瞧?
"Eat it," "Bite me," And these three..."Get" "A" "Job."
"吃屎吧","咬我啊",還有組合裝哦,"找" "份" "工"。
Oh, and one for the mom that says, "I still love you," Just in case.
還為媽媽特意準(zhǔn)備了一個,"我還愛你哦",以防萬一嘛。
Now come on, get up. Your son needs to go out and take an 8-foot crap.
快給我起床。你兒子要出去拉一坨8英尺長的屎。
No, I'm done. If everyone's done with cupcakes, so am I.
不要,我受夠了。如果說人人都不喜歡小蛋糕了,那我也是。
I'm done pretending that everything's gonna work out. In our reality show, it's not.
我受夠了假裝一切都會如愿以償。在我們這出真人秀里,事與愿違。
Look, get up, or I will close this bed with you in it, and your new reality show will be true life: I live in a wall.
快起床,不然我就把你跟床一起合上,你的新真人秀就是你的真實生活:《夾縫求生》。
I'm not getting up. Ever.
我不要起床,打死都不起。
Max, stop, stop it! Stop it!
麥克斯,住手,求你了!
Put me down! Put me down!
把我放下來!快放我下來!
What's happening?
怎么了?
I can't lift my head. Did I have a stroke?
我的頭抬不起來了。我是不是中風(fēng)了?
Calm down. No one has stroked in your bed since--what is it, going on a year?
冷靜,你床上這張床上沒男人都多久了?有一年了吧?
Max. My hair is caught. My hair is caught! My hair is caught!
麥克斯,我的頭發(fā)卡住了。我的頭發(fā)卡住了!我的頭發(fā)卡住了!
Who are you yelling at?
你在對誰大吼大叫呢?
The whole situation! Do something!
整個狀況!快幫忙啊!
Let me look. Oh yeah, it's all caught up in the bed gears here.
我看看。沒錯,頭發(fā)全都被床的齒輪卡住了。
Oh my God, I have a bed with gears and my hair is caught in it!
天啊,我的床居然有齒輪,現(xiàn)在還把我的頭發(fā)卡住了!
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