I once had the pleasure of dining with Miss Ida Tarbell, the dean of American biographers. When I told her I was writing this book, we began discussing this all—important subject of getting along with people, and she told me that while she was writing her biography of Owen D. Young, she interviewed a man who had sat for three years in the same office with Mr. Young. This man declared that during all that time he had never heard Owen D. Young give a direct order to anyone. He always gave suggestions, not orders. Owen D. Young never said, for example,“Do this or do that,”or“Don't do this or don't do that.”He would say,“You might consider this,”or“Do you think that would work?”Frequently he would say, after he had dictated a letter,“What do you think of this?”In looking over a letter of one of his assistants, he would say,“Maybe if we were to phrase it this way it would be better.”He always gave people the opportunity to do things themselves; he never told his assistants to do things; he let them do them, let them learn from their mistakes.
A technique like that makes it easy for a person to correct errors. A technique like that saves a person's pride and gives him or her a feeling of importance. It encourages cooperation instead of rebellion.
Resentment caused by a brash order may last a long time—even if the order was given to correct an obviously bad situation. Dan Santarelli, a teacher at a vocational school in Wyoming, Pennsylvania, told one of our classes how one of his students had blocked the entrance way to one of the school's shops by illegally parking his car in it. One of the other instructors stormed into the classroom and asked in an arrogant tone,“Whose car is blocking the driveway?”When the student who owned the car responded, the instructor screamed:“Move that car and move it right now, or I'll wrap a chain around it and drag it out of there.”
Now that student was wrong. The car should not have been parked there. But from that day on, not only did that student resent the instructor's action, but all the students in the class did everything they could to give the instructor a hard time and make his job unpleasant.
How could he have handled it differently? If he had asked in a friendly way,“Whose car is in the driveway?”and then suggested that if it were moved, other cars could get in and out, the student would have gladly moved it and neither he nor his classmates would have been upset and resentful.
Asking questions not only makes an order more palatable; it often stimulates the creativity of the persons whom you ask. People are more likely to accept an order if they have had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued.
When Ian Macdonald of Johannesburg, South Africa, the general manager of a small manufacturing plant specializing in precision machine parts, had the opportunity to accept a very large order, he was convinced that he would not meet the promised delivery date. The work already scheduled in the shop and the short completion time needed for this order made it seem impossible for him to accept the order.
Instead of pushing his people to accelerate their work and rush the order through, he called everybody together, explained the situation to them, and told them how much it would mean to the company and to them if they could make it possible to produce the order on time. Then he started asking questions:
“Is there anything we can do to handle this order?”
“Can anyone think of different ways to process it through the shop that will make it possible to take the order?”
“Is there any way to adjust our hours or personnel assignments that would help?”
The employees came up with many ideas and insisted that he take the order. They approached it with a“We can do it”attitude, and the order was accepted, produced and delivered on time.
An effective leader will use…
ASK QUESTIONS INSTEAD OF GIVING DIRECT ORDERS.
我曾有幸與美國資深傳記作家艾達(dá)·塔貝爾一同進(jìn)餐。當(dāng)我告訴她我正在寫這樣一本書后,我們便開始討論待人接物時(shí)最重要的一點(diǎn)。她告訴我,她在寫歐文·D.揚(yáng)的傳記時(shí)曾經(jīng)訪問過一個(gè)與揚(yáng)先生在同一個(gè)辦公室共事三年的人。這個(gè)人說,他從來也沒聽過揚(yáng)先生直接給任何人下命令。他總是提出建議,而非命令。例如,歐文·D.揚(yáng)從來不會(huì)說:“做這件事”“做那件事”“別這樣做”“別那樣做”。他會(huì)說:“你或許可以考慮這樣做”或者“你覺得這樣可行嗎”。當(dāng)他口述完一封信后,總是會(huì)說:“你覺得可以嗎?”在審讀助手寫的信時(shí),他會(huì)說:“或許如果我們重新措辭會(huì)更好?!彼偸墙o人做事的主動(dòng)權(quán),從不指使助手做這做那,他放手讓他們自己做事并從錯(cuò)誤中學(xué)習(xí)。
這樣的方式會(huì)使他人更容易改正錯(cuò)誤。這樣的方式保護(hù)了他人的自尊,能使他人感覺到自己的重要性。這促進(jìn)了合作,減少了反抗。
粗暴的命令所引發(fā)的怨恨是長久的,即便命令是為了改善明顯糟糕的情況。賓夕法尼亞州懷俄明一所技校的老師丹·桑塔萊利在班里講了他的一個(gè)學(xué)生違規(guī)停車擋住學(xué)校里一家店入口的事。一位講師沖了進(jìn)來,用傲慢的口吻問:“誰的車擋住了通道?”當(dāng)那個(gè)學(xué)生回應(yīng)后,那個(gè)老師大喊:“把車開走!現(xiàn)在!要不然我用鏈子把它纏上然后拖走!”
那個(gè)學(xué)生固然做錯(cuò)了,不能把車停在那里。但從此以后,不僅那個(gè)學(xué)生厭惡那位老師的舉動(dòng),所有學(xué)生都開始在他的班上搗亂,令他頭疼。
他還能采取什么其他的方式嗎?如果他友好地問“哪位同學(xué)把車停在過道上了”,然后建議那位同學(xué)把車移走,讓其他車可以出入,學(xué)生會(huì)很樂意移車的。那個(gè)同學(xué)和其他同學(xué)都不會(huì)生氣,也不會(huì)厭惡那個(gè)老師。
問問題的方式不僅能使命令更易被接受,還往往能激發(fā)對方的創(chuàng)造力。人們在認(rèn)為自己參與了決定時(shí)會(huì)更樂意接受命令。
當(dāng)南非約翰內(nèi)斯堡的精密部件小工廠總經(jīng)理伊恩·麥當(dāng)勞接到一筆龐大訂單時(shí),他很確定他們無法如期交貨。工廠里的工作早已安排好,而這筆訂單交貨時(shí)間之緊迫使按時(shí)交貨都成了幾乎不可能的任務(wù)。
伊恩并沒有催促員工加快速度趕訂單。他召集了全廠會(huì)議,向大家解釋了情況,告訴他們?nèi)绻馨磿r(shí)交貨對公司來說將具有多重大的意義。然后他開始問問題:
“我們能用什么辦法來處理這個(gè)訂單?”
“有沒有人能想到任何不同的操作方式以保證我們能按時(shí)交貨?”
“我們該怎樣調(diào)整工作時(shí)間和任務(wù)分配?”
職員們想出了很多主意,執(zhí)意讓經(jīng)理接這筆訂單。他們用“我們能做到”的態(tài)度來迎接這個(gè)問題。于是他接受了訂單,開始生產(chǎn),并且如期交貨。
高效領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者會(huì):
提出問題而不是直接下命令。
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