There is a reason why eyes are often called “windows of the soul”. While we can choose our words and control certain facial expressions, our eyes never lie. They portray our thoughts, reflect the lightest shades of emotions, express interest, boredom, surprise, approval, or disbelief. Without words ever being spoken, our eyes have the power to attract, to judge, to frighten and to caress. You have probably witnessed yourself how often a parent can hush playful children just by giving them ‘the look’. Or how a young couple can flirt with each other across the table without ever saying a single word.
人們通常將眼睛稱為“心靈的窗戶”,這不是沒有道理的。盡管我們可以選擇話語、控制某些面部表情,但是我們的眼睛絕不會說謊。它們透露了我們的想 法,反映了我們情緒中最細(xì)微的差別,表達(dá)了我們的興趣、厭倦、驚奇、同意或是不信任。即便不說一句話,我們的眼睛也具有吸引、判斷、恐嚇和愛撫的能力。你 大概親眼目睹過家長經(jīng)常只是通過一個“眼神”就讓頑皮的孩子安靜下來,或者一對年輕的戀人隔桌相望,不說只字片語卻互送秋波。
The language of our eyes is one of the most powerful and effective tools of non-verbal communication. And many times our success at a job interview, during business negotiations or on a first date depends on our ability to convey the right messages with our eyes. This is why it is so important to learn how to read the body language of the eyes and interpret it correctly. Here are the 10 Most Important Eye Expressions that we witness every day:
眼睛所透露的語言是最強(qiáng)有力、有效的非語言交流工具之一。許多時候,我們在求職面試、商業(yè)洽談或者初次約會中的成功,取決于我們用眼睛傳達(dá)正確信息的能力。這就是為什么學(xué)會如何解讀眼神、正確理解它是如此重要了。以下是我們每天都親眼所見的10種最重要的眼神:
1. Smiling eyes.
微笑的眼神。
Psychologists have long noticed that a sincere smile starts with our eyes. When we are genuinely happy the skin around the corners of our eyes crinkles, while a ‘socially polite’ inauthentic smile touches only our lips. Have you ever been in a situation when a shop assistant smiled at you, offering help and you immediately got the feeling that they were just trying to sell you something? Well, now you know why. The smile you had been given was not in the eyes.
心理學(xué)家經(jīng)過長期的觀察發(fā)現(xiàn),一個真誠的微笑是從眼睛開始的。當(dāng)我們由衷地高興時,我們眼角的皮膚會皺起來,但是“在社交場合上禮貌的”微笑則是假笑,只涉及唇部的活動。你是否曾遇到過這樣的情景:當(dāng)一位店員微笑著向你提供服務(wù)時,你立刻感覺到他/她只不過是試圖向你賣東西?好了,現(xiàn)在你知道原因了。你所感受的微笑并不是從眼睛里發(fā)出的。
2. Shy eyes.
羞澀的眼神。
People who avoid eye contact during a conversation are often perceived as insincere, deceptive and untrustworthy. Practice shows that this is not always the case.
在交談中躲避目光接觸的人常被視為不真誠、虛偽、不值得信賴。實踐表明情況并非總是如此。
As strange as it may seem, a clear sign that someone is being being dishonest is greater eye contact, not a lack thereof (as a liar knows we are looking for signs of deception and purposely prolongs eye contact). What does little or no eye contact mean then? Anything from shyness, to nervousness, to boredom.
有一點似乎挺奇怪,有明顯的跡象表明不誠實的人目光接觸更多,而不是缺乏目光接觸(就像一個說謊的人知道我們正找尋他欺騙的跡象,從而故意延長目光接觸的時間)。那么沒多少目光接觸或者根本就沒有意味著什么呢?害羞、緊張、無聊,這些都有可能。
3. Friendly eyes.
友好的眼神。
Looking a person straight in the eyes while carrying on a conversation sends a few clear messages to your interlocutor: you are comfortable in their company; you are relaxed and confident; you are paying attention to the conversation. This is why so many public speaking experts and motivational coaches advice maintaining eye contact with your interlocutors to make a positive first impression.
在交談時直視對方會對你的談話者傳遞幾個明顯的信息:你和他/她在一起很舒服;你很放松且有自信;你在交談時集中精力。這就是為什么那么多的演說家和激勵學(xué)生的教練會建議你對交談?wù)弑3帜抗饨佑|從而留下積極的第一印象。
4. ‘Shut’ eyes.
“閉”眼。
Covering the eyes, shielding the eyes, lowering the eyelids for a long period of time is a hard-wired unconscious attempt to block out something that we do not want to hear. For example, a man who is asked to work on the weekend may cover his eyes with his fingers rubbing them as he answers, “No problem”. What his gestures are portraying, though, is how he really feels about the prospective of spending his weekend at the office – he is not happy about it at all.
長時間閉眼、遮眼和耷拉眼皮是在潛意識地試圖阻擋我們不想聽到的事情。例如,一個被要求在周末上班的人可能會閉上眼睛,邊揉眼睛邊回答“沒問題”。但是他的姿態(tài)所表現(xiàn)的就是,他一想到要在辦公室度過周末的真實感受——他對此一點兒也不開心。
5. Blinking eyes.
眨眼。
Psychologists and body language experts have noticed that when we are nervous or troubled about something our blink rate goes up. Often such behavior is seen with liars. Although, it takes more than increased blinking rate to accuse someone of lying as the same reaction is often seen with people under stress.
心理學(xué)家和肢體語言專家已經(jīng)注意到,當(dāng)我們緊張或是被某事所困擾的時候,我們眨眼的頻率會上升。通常這種行為常見于說謊的人。然而,不要只因為眨眼頻率增加而指責(zé)某人說謊,因為有壓力的人也常常會有同樣的反應(yīng)。
6. Drooping eyes.
垂眼。
Have you ever talked to someone and got the impression that the person was not listening to you? That is because you saw a lack of eye blinking or what we call a ‘blank stare’ on the person’s face. Another not so obvious signal of boredom is a covert glance up and to the right. If you notice this body language of the eyes in someone you are talking to, accompanied by repetitive finger or foot tapping, yawning, and glancing at their watch take it as a sign to change the topic of conversation to something more stimulating.
你是否曾在跟某人說話的時候感覺他并沒有在聽你說話?那是因為你看到對方不怎么眨眼或者我們所說的他在“茫然地盯著看”。另一個表現(xiàn)出無聊的一個 不怎么明顯的信號就是偷偷摸摸地瞥一眼然后看著右邊。如果你在聽你說話的人身上發(fā)現(xiàn)了這種眼神,而且還伴隨著重復(fù)地敲手指或頓足、打哈欠、看表等動作,那 么你就應(yīng)該知道要改變一下話題,讓它更令人興奮一些。
7. Calculating eyes.
算計的眼神。
Eyes that move from side to side or look down are often an indicator that a person is processing information. As it turns out, it is much harder for us to maintain eye contact, while making calculations, because in this case our cognitive energy is divided between perceiving our surroundings and making the calculations. This habit of looking down or to the side when considering the right way to answer can backfire at a job interview as it is often erroneously interpreted as insincerity and a desire to hide something, so be careful not to glance away too much when talking!
眼睛左右移動或者向下看通常表明一個人正在處理信息。人們發(fā)現(xiàn),當(dāng)我們進(jìn)行計算時更難保持目光接觸,因為在這種情況下我們的認(rèn)知精力被察覺周圍環(huán)境和進(jìn)行計算分散開了。在思考正確的回答方式時向下或向旁邊看的習(xí)慣可能會在求職面試中產(chǎn)生事與愿違的結(jié)果,因為這常被錯誤地理解為沒誠意和渴望掩蓋某 事,因此在交談時要注意不要總是往別處看。
8. Squinting eyes
瞇眼。
Squinting or narrowing the eye orbits indicates with great accuracy discomfort, stress, evaluation and even anger. If you get squinted eye expression right after you say something, it could probably mean that the person doubts your words, disagrees with you or does not fully get their meaning. Therefore, it helps to clarify what is bothering your interlocutor before a small misconception turns into a heated argument.
瞇眼或者收縮眼眶準(zhǔn)確顯示出了不安、壓力、評判、甚至是憤怒。如果在你說了某事后得到瞇眼的表情,那大概就意味著那個人懷疑你說的話,不同意你的觀點或者沒有充分理解其中的意思。因此,這有助于你在一個小小的誤解演變成激烈的爭吵之前就認(rèn)清對話者的困惑。
9. Interested eyes.
興致勃勃的眼神。
In 1975 a distinguished psychologists Eckhard Hess found that the pupil dilates (increase in size) when we are interested in the person we are talking to or the object we are looking at. However, when interpreting this indicator, you must also take in to consideration the illumination of the room, as in darker surroundings our pupils will naturally dilate to let in more light.
1975年,一位著名的心理學(xué)家??斯?赫斯發(fā)現(xiàn),當(dāng)我們面對與我們交談的人或者我們正在看的物品感興趣時,瞳孔就會擴(kuò)散。然而,在說明這種跡象時,你必須也把房間的照明情況考慮進(jìn)去,因為在昏暗的環(huán)境中我們的瞳孔會自然而然地擴(kuò)散,讓更多的光進(jìn)來。
10. Glowing eyes.
閃耀的眼神。
They say that when someone is happy, their eyes glow, while when the person is sad or depressed the glow of “light” in the eyes tends to fad from sight. Well, this is not just our perception. There is substantial research indicating that when our mood changes, the glow in the eyes changes as well. How to make your eyes glow with happiness and joy? Unfortunately, there is no other way then to become happier and learning to appreciate the small pleasures that life gives us daily!
人們說當(dāng)一個人高興的時候,他的眼睛會發(fā)光,而當(dāng)他難過沮喪的時候,眼睛中的那一縷“光”就漸漸消失了。好了,這不僅僅是我們的感覺。有大量的研究表明,當(dāng)我們的情緒有所改變的時候,眼睛里的光也會發(fā)生改變。如何讓你的眼中煥發(fā)幸福喜悅的光芒呢?遺憾的是,沒有其他的方法可以讓我們變得更快樂,讓 我們學(xué)會感激生活每天給予我們的點滴歡樂吧!