越喧囂越寂寞，你有社交恐懼癥嗎？

導(dǎo)讀：我們習(xí)慣了在網(wǎng)上和形形色色的人聊天，可是面對面的交流卻讓我們緊張、焦慮，不知道該說什么。周圍越喧囂，我們可能越寂寞……這就是所謂的社交恐懼癥?其實(shí)不然，社交焦慮人人都有，只要合理應(yīng)對，這都不是事兒。

Wang Na (pseudonym), 21, at Jilin University, has been experiencing social awkwardness since her junior middle school years. Back then, she felt self-conscious about going to the restroom alone. She even limited the amount of water she drank just so she didn’t have to go there often. “I feared that other students would think that I didn’t get along well with others if I was seen alone,” she said.

21歲的王娜(化名)是吉林大學(xué)的一名學(xué)生。她從初中時(shí)期開始就一直飽受社交無能的困擾。那時(shí)候，一個(gè)人去廁所都會(huì)讓她覺得不自在。她甚至通過少喝水來減少上廁所的次數(shù)。她說：“我害怕別的同學(xué)看到我一個(gè)人會(huì)覺得我不合群。“

Wang is not the only sufferer of what’s called “social anxiety”. China Youth Daily recently did a survey among 1,544 people. Nearly half (44.6 percent) of the participants admitted that they were afraid of being the center of attention. Up to 66.7 percent of them said they are more likely to be anxious during face-to-face communications than in online conversations.

王娜絕不是唯一感到“社交焦慮”的人?！吨袊嗄陥?bào)》最近對1,544名參與者做了一項(xiàng)調(diào)查，其中近一半(44.6%)的人承認(rèn)他們害怕成為大家關(guān)注的焦點(diǎn)，高達(dá)66.7%的受訪者說他們在面對面交流時(shí)比網(wǎng)上聊天更緊張。

But these feelings are not necessarily something to worry about. “There is ‘social anxiety’, and there is ‘social anxiety disorder’ or ‘social phobia’. They are two completely different things,” said Li Songwei, a lecturer at the psychological counseling center of Tsinghua University.

不過完全不必因?yàn)橛羞@種感覺而擔(dān)憂。清華大學(xué)心理咨詢中心咨詢師李松蔚說：“ ‘社交焦慮”不等于‘社交焦慮失調(diào)’或者‘社交恐懼癥’，它們是兩種完全不同的東西。“

According to Thomas Rodebaugh, a psychology professor at Washington University in St Louis, US, almost everyone suffers from at least a little social anxiety. For example, we may get the jitters before speaking in public, or have a bad night’s sleep if there is going to be an important interview the next day.

根據(jù)美國圣路易斯華盛頓大學(xué)心理學(xué)教授托馬斯•羅德鮑的說法，幾乎每個(gè)人或多或少都會(huì)受到社交焦慮的困擾。比如，我們當(dāng)眾發(fā)言之前可能會(huì)特別緊張，或者在重要面試的前一天晚上緊張地睡不著覺。

“We’d be worried about someone who never experiences any social anxiety,” Rodebaugh told The Atlantic.

羅德鮑告訴《大西洋月刊》：“如果有人從不會(huì)感到社交焦慮，那我們就要擔(dān)心了。”

But when does social anxiety develop into a disorder? That is up to a doctor to diagnose, says Li. There are two simple questions you can ask yourself if you’re concerned–“How much does the anxiety affect my life?” and “Is it acceptable?”

但是社交焦慮什么時(shí)候會(huì)發(fā)展成病癥呢?李松蔚認(rèn)為這取決于醫(yī)生的診斷。如果你擔(dān)心(患上社交恐懼癥)，那么你可以問問自己這兩個(gè)問題—— “焦慮會(huì)多大程度上影響你的生活?”和“這種焦慮是你能承受的嗎?”

If the condition becomes so problematic that you refuse to go out at all and cannot live a normal life, you need to seek help.

如果情況變得很糟糕，你甚至拒絕外出，無法正常生活，那么你就要尋求幫助了。

But for common social anxiety, people all have their different coping strategies. “The more coping strategies one has, the less likely the anxiety is going to develop into a disorder,” Li said.

但對于普通的社交焦慮，每個(gè)人都有自己不同的應(yīng)對措施。李松蔚說：“一個(gè)人應(yīng)對焦慮的方法越多，那么他患上社交恐懼癥的幾率就越低。”

Tina (pseudonym), 20, at Zhejiang A&F University, faces anxiety every time she has to speak up in class, so the strategy she employs is “reasoning plus rewards”. For example, she tells herself that there is no such thing as right or wrong when speaking publicly; there are only people who agree with you or not. And if she conquers her fear, she buys new shoes or goes to see a movie after class.

20歲的蒂娜(化名)就讀于浙江農(nóng)林大學(xué)，每次課堂發(fā)言都讓她焦慮不已，所以她采用了“勸說+獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)”的策略。比如，她告訴自己，公開發(fā)言沒有對錯(cuò)之分;只有同意你和不同意你的人。如果她戰(zhàn)勝了自己的恐懼，她會(huì)獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)自己一雙新鞋或者課后去看一場電影。

“The first time I pushed myself to speak up in class was a breakthrough,” she said. “Things seemed a lot easier after I took that first step.”

她說：“第一次強(qiáng)迫自己在課堂上發(fā)言是一個(gè)突破。當(dāng)踏出第一步后，我發(fā)現(xiàn)其實(shí)也沒有那么難。”