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情人節(jié)送啥好?看看這些“反面教材”先

所屬教程:英語漫讀

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2018年02月28日

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1. “He paid to get the brakes in my Jeep fixed. Then, when he found out it needed more parts, he gave me the rest of the bill.” ― Sara S.

“他花錢修了我吉普車的剎車。但是,當他發(fā)現(xiàn)還需要置換更多零件時,他把余下的那部分賬單給了我。”——莎拉·S

2. “A $100 gift card to a spa filled out and dated two years before we met ” ― Carey V.

“他給了我一張100美元的美容按摩禮品卡,這張卡在我們認識兩年前就已經(jīng)填寫過收貨信息了。”——凱麗·V

3. “He bought me and one of my best friends almost identical presents. He had had a crush on her for years.” ― Heather B.

“他給我和我的一個閨蜜送了幾乎完全相同的禮物。他曾經(jīng)迷戀她多年。”——希瑟·B

4. “The worst gift my ex ever gave me on Valentine’s Day was nothing. Normally, it wouldn’t matter, but a week before Valentine’s Day, my ex told me that every other man she had been with exchanged gifts and we must do the same. I got her a gift and when she didn’t have one for me she said, ‘I forgot.’” ― Matt S.

“我前任曾送過的最糟糕的情人節(jié)禮物就是什么也不送。正常來說,本來是沒關系的,但是在情人節(jié)前一周,我的前女友告訴我,她和她之前的每個男友都會在情人節(jié)交換禮物,我們也必須這么做。于是我給她準備了一個禮物,但是她卻沒給我準備,然后說‘我忘了’。”——馬特·S

5. “A Bible and a lecture about how I had been dressing ‘inappropriately’ by wearing anything relatively form-fitting.” ― Diana B.

“他送給我一本《圣經(jīng)》,還給我上了一課,說我一直以來都穿著“不當”,只要衣服合身就隨便亂穿。”——戴安娜·B

6. “My ex had promised I would love my gift. ‘It’s something we can do together,’ he said. I knew it had to be a trip. That night he presented me with an envelope over a romantic dinner. I opened it expecting to see two plane tickets fall out. What fell out was a receipt for a one-year paid membership to a gym. There’s only one thing to say when you get a gift like that on Valentine’s Day: Bye.” ― Amy K.

“我的前任許諾我會喜歡這個情人節(jié)禮物。他說,‘這將是我們可以一起做的事情。’我以為這一定是一場旅行。那天晚上他在浪漫晚餐上給了我一個信封。我打開時還以為會看到兩張機票。結果掉出來的是健身館一年會員的收據(jù)。在情人節(jié)收到這種禮物只有一句話可說:拜拜。”——艾米·K

7. “A weekend getaway with her brother and his wife. She didn’t have a good relationship with her brother and thought that a weekend with all four of us would be good for her. Needless to say, the narcissistic gift of 60 hours imprisoned with the two of them was horrible for me and for her brother’s wife! Misery loves company.” ― Bill D.

“我收到的情人節(jié)禮物是和她的哥哥嫂子周末一起外出度假。她和她哥關系不太好,她以為四個人共度周末對她有好處。無需多言,這份自戀的禮物——和這對兄妹囚禁在一起的60個小時——對我來說糟透了,對她嫂子也是!同病相憐啊。”——比爾·D

8. “He took his single ‘friend’ out for dinner and a movie on Valentine’s Day. Worked out well for them. They’re now engaged.” ― Deanna G.

“情人節(jié)他帶他的單身‘朋友’出去吃飯看電影。對他們來說很不錯。現(xiàn)在他們訂婚了。”——迪安娜·G

9. “One year my ex completely neglected to make any plans or get any cards, flowers or gifts. I assumed the lack of any acknowledgment all day meant there was a big surprise coming later. Walking in our neighborhood gourmet market, bombarded with chocolates, decorations and cards, he grabbed a card, bought it and handed it to me, unsigned. In the checkout line.” ― Abby K.

“有一年我的前男友完全沒有制定任何情人節(jié)計劃,也沒有買卡片、鮮花等禮物。我以為一整天都沒有表示,晚些時候會有一個大驚喜。后來我們走進了小區(qū)的一個精品超市,超市里到處都是巧克力、裝飾物和卡片,于是他拿了一張卡片,付完款,什么也沒寫就把它遞給我。就在收銀臺那邊。”——艾比·K

10. “Valentine’s Day was his birthday, so it was ‘his’ day. Ten years with him, I didn’t get anything.” ― Gianna K.

“情人節(jié)是他的生日,所以這是屬于他的日子。和他在一起十年,我從來沒收到過情人節(jié)禮物。”——吉安娜·K

11. “A portrait of myself and our dog. His heart was in the right place but the painting was awful. I looked like a linebacker with some kind of ’80s new-wave hairdo gone wrong. My ex wanted to hang the picture over the fireplace but there was no way that was happening. I finally let him hang it in our bedroom, where I got to sleep under my own creepy gaze for several years. I used to joke that I would have to burn the house down to get rid of the thing because I would never be able to sneak it into the trash.” ― Trish S.

“我收到的情人節(jié)禮物是一張我和我們家狗的肖像畫。他的心意是好的,但是這張畫太糟了。我看起來像中后衛(wèi)橄欖球員,發(fā)型像是80年代的新浪潮風格,很蹩腳。我的前男友想把畫掛在壁爐上方,但是我堅決不允許。最后我讓他掛在我們臥室里,好幾年我都是看著自己的驚悚肖像畫入睡的。我曾經(jīng)開玩笑說,我必須把房子燒掉才能擺脫這幅畫,因為我沒法偷偷將它扔進垃圾桶里。”——翠西·S

12. “Definitely not a bouquet of flowers. Instead, I received a big fat seed of doubt when the mailman delivered a card to my husband sent by another woman.” ― Lisa F.

“肯定不是一束花。我收到的情人節(jié)禮物是一大堆問號,郵遞員給我丈夫送來一張另外一個女人寄給他的情人節(jié)卡片。”——麗莎·F

13. “A bow and arrow. He wanted me to go hunting with him... for Valentine’s Day. I should’ve known.” ― Carla E.

“一副弓箭。他希望我能和他一起去打獵……在情人節(jié)。我早該知道的。”——卡拉·E

14. “A waffle maker. A waffle maker on its own isn’t a terrible gift except I don’t like waffles. We’d been together for five years and had eaten breakfast together hundreds of times and I’d never ordered waffles — ever. He never made me waffles, which was fine since I don’t actually like them, but the kicker? I found out a couple of weeks later he’d won the waffle maker at a work fundraiser. Needless to say, we are no longer together.” ― Julie S.

“一臺華夫餅干機。華夫餅干機本身不是個糟糕的禮物,只是我不愛吃華夫餅。我們已經(jīng)在一起五年了,一起吃早餐也有數(shù)百次了,我從來不點華夫餅——從不。他從來沒給我做過華夫餅,這挺好的,因為我并不愛吃,但是他怎么會想到送這個的呢?幾周后我發(fā)現(xiàn),他是在工作籌款會上贏得這臺華夫餅干機的。不用說,我們已經(jīng)不在一起了。”——朱莉·S
 


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