If You Love Her Enough　只要你足夠愛(ài)她

If You Love Her Enough　只要你足夠愛(ài)她

◎ Bill Walls

My friend John always has something to tell me. He knows so much that young men have to have older and more worldly wise men to tell them, for instance, who to trust, how to care for others, and how to live life to the fullest.

我的朋友約翰總是喜歡給我講道理。他非常清楚年輕人需要更年長(zhǎng)、更睿智的人們給予告誡，告訴他們諸如要信任誰(shuí)，要怎樣關(guān)愛(ài)他人，要如何充實(shí)地生活等等。

Recently, John lost his wife Janet. For eight years she fought against cancer, but in the end her sickness had the last word.

最近，約翰失去了妻子珍妮特。八年來(lái)她一直和癌癥抗?fàn)帲罱K還是被病魔打敗了。

One day John took out a folded piece of paper from his wallet. He had found it, so he told me, when he tidied up some drawers at home. It was a small love letter Janet had written. The note could look like a school girl’s scrawls about her dream guy. All that was missing was a drawing of a heart with the names John and Janet written in it. But the small letter was written by a woman who had had seven children; a woman who fought for her life and who probably only had a few months left to live.

一天，約翰從錢包里拿出一張折疊起來(lái)的紙。他告訴我說(shuō)，他在家收拾抽屜時(shí)發(fā)現(xiàn)了這張紙條。這是珍妮特寫(xiě)的一封簡(jiǎn)短的情書(shū)。這封信的內(nèi)容看上去像是一個(gè)女學(xué)生隨便寫(xiě)給自己意中人的那樣，唯一缺少的就是畫(huà)上一顆寫(xiě)有約翰和珍妮特名字、被丘比特之箭穿過(guò)的愛(ài)心了。但這封簡(jiǎn)短的信，卻是由一個(gè)擁有七個(gè)孩子的母親——一個(gè)只剩下幾個(gè)月生命，卻仍舊與病魔奮力抗?fàn)幍呐怂鶎?xiě)。

It was also a beautiful recipe for how to keep a marriage together.

這封信同時(shí)也是一個(gè)維持婚姻和諧的美麗秘訣。

Janet’s description of her husband begins thus: “Loved me. Took care of me. Worried about me.”

珍妮特對(duì)自己丈夫的描述是這樣開(kāi)始的：“他愛(ài)我，照顧我，為我擔(dān)憂。”

Even though John always had a ready answer, he never joked about cancer apparently.

即便約翰對(duì)一切都心知肚明，他也從來(lái)不公然地對(duì)那癌癥開(kāi)玩笑。

Sometimes he came home in the evening to find Janet in the middle of one of those depressions cancer patients so often get. In no time he got her into the car and drove her to her favorite restaurant.

有時(shí)他傍晚回到家，發(fā)現(xiàn)珍妮特正處于癌癥病人經(jīng)常會(huì)陷入的沮喪狀態(tài)中。他會(huì)立馬拉她上車，然后帶她去她最愛(ài)的餐廳。

He showed consideration for her, and she knew it. You cannot hide something for someone who knows better.

他很體諒她，她清楚這一點(diǎn)。當(dāng)別人比你更了解某樣?xùn)|西時(shí)，你是隱藏不了這樣?xùn)|西的。

“Helped me when I was ill.” the next line reads. Perhaps Janet wrote this while the cancer was in one of the horrible and wonderful lulls. Where everything is——almost——as it used to be, before the sickness broke out, and where it doesn’t hurt to hope that everything is over, maybe forever.

“當(dāng)我生病時(shí)，他幫助我。”下一行是。也許珍妮特寫(xiě)這句話時(shí)，她的癌癥正處于一次難得的平靜期。這個(gè)時(shí)候就如癌癥經(jīng)常出現(xiàn)的情況一樣，在它爆發(fā)之前，人們總是滿懷信心地希望這一切都已經(jīng)過(guò)去，或許是永遠(yuǎn)都過(guò)去了。

“Forgave me a lot.”

“包容我許多的不對(duì)。”

“Stood by my side.”

“陪在我的身邊。”

And a piece of good advice for everyone who looks on giving constructive criticism as a kind of sacred duty: “Always praising.”

還有一條建議，這是送給所有把提供積極性意見(jiàn)作為一種神圣職責(zé)的人的：“不停地贊美。”

“Made sure I had everything I needed.” she goes on to write.

“確保我擁有所需要的一切。”她繼續(xù)寫(xiě)著。

After that she has turned over the paper and added: “Warmth. Humor. Kindness. Thoughtfulness.”

在那之后她把紙翻過(guò)來(lái)接著寫(xiě)：“溫暖。幽默。仁慈。貼心。”

And then she writes about the husband she has lived with and loved most of her life: “Always there for me when I needed you.”

然后她描述了生命中大部分時(shí)間與自己共同生活的丈夫——她最愛(ài)的人：“在我需要你的時(shí)候，你總是在我身邊。”

The last words she wrote sum up all the others. I can see her for me when she adds thoughtfully: “Good friend.”

最后的話總結(jié)了這封信。她寫(xiě)道：“親愛(ài)的朋友。”我似乎能親眼看到她是如何若有所思地加上這句話的。

I stand beside John now, and cannot even pretend to know how it feels to lose someone who is as close to me as Janet was to him. I need to hear what he has to say much more than he needs to talk.

我現(xiàn)在站在約翰的旁邊，甚至都不能假裝了解失去親密朋友的感覺(jué)，就像他失去珍妮特一樣。約翰需要傾訴，他必須要說(shuō)出一些話，而我更急切地要聽(tīng)他的那些話。

“John,” I ask. “How do you stick together with someone through 38 years——not to mention the sickness? How do I know if I can bear to stand by my wife’s side if she becomes sick one day?”

“約翰，”我問(wèn)，“你是如何和一個(gè)人相守度過(guò)這38年的——更別提還有那場(chǎng)疾病了？我要如何知道當(dāng)我妻子有一天也生病了，我是否也能站在她的身旁？”

“You can,” he says quietly. “If you love her enough, you can.”

“你會(huì)的，”他平靜地說(shuō)，“只要你足夠愛(ài)她，你會(huì)的。”

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