盤點(diǎn)和老外容易發(fā)生的十大誤會(huì)
Top 10 贊美
西方人樂于贊美別人，同時(shí)也樂于接受別人的贊美。而中國人為了顯示謙恭，常常會(huì)“拒絕”他人的贊美。這種“拒絕”會(huì)讓老外覺得莫明其妙，好像你不領(lǐng)他的情似的。
還有，中國人出于禮貌，或者想跟人套近乎，總是愿意說些關(guān)心人的話。為了獻(xiàn)殷勤，我們常喜歡對(duì)客人說"You must be tired? Have a good rest."。然而，普通的問候之語卻有可能讓西方人誤解為你對(duì)她的身體狀況表示擔(dān)憂。他們很喜歡別人夸他們年輕、強(qiáng)壯，如果你質(zhì)疑他們的身體健康，他們甚至?xí)l(fā)怒的。
Top 9 致謝
中國人認(rèn)為對(duì)家里人或者好朋友的幫助是one's own obligation, no need to thank or be thanked，彼此根本不必說謝謝，說了反而顯得關(guān)系生分。而老外對(duì)家人或者朋友的幫忙都習(xí)慣說謝謝，他們期待polite expression_rs like "please", "thank you", etc.。所以，和老外相處，千萬不要吝嗇“謝謝”兩個(gè)字。“謝”少了只會(huì)讓老外覺得你羞澀且不懂禮貌。
Top 8 出游
中國人結(jié)伴出游的時(shí)候，如果買什么東西，花錢的那個(gè)人一般都會(huì)先統(tǒng)計(jì)有幾個(gè)人，然后按照人頭購買東西，即便有人之前客氣地說不要，中國人還是會(huì)給他買上一份。
When a Chinese offers refreshments or drinks to his colleague, his colleague often declines the offer politely, because he doesn't want to trouble the person who offers and it also shows his politeness. Normally the person who offers still prepares or buys refreshments or drinks, and this will be expected by his colleague. Sharing food and drink when going out together is common among colleagues and friends。
然而和老外結(jié)伴出游，如果你客氣地推說不需要某樣?xùn)|西，那么對(duì)方真的就不會(huì)給你買。他們覺得不給你買是尊重你的決定。Respect one's own decision, "yes" means one wants it, "no" means one doesn't, politeness is usually shown by the expression_r 'thank you' or "please"。所以，想要什么東西，就直接說出來吧，事后真誠地說聲謝謝才是他們眼中的禮貌做法。
Top 7 稱呼
當(dāng)外國人聽到中國人稱呼他們?yōu)?ldquo;老外”的時(shí)候，他們心里是不高興的，因?yàn)樗麄冇X得自己并不老，且很健康。他們dislike being labelled as "old", being young valued above being old。
而當(dāng)他們聽到中國人管外國小孩也叫“老外”的時(shí)候，他們才明白“老”其實(shí)是對(duì)某個(gè)人的尊稱，比如老張，老王。"Lao" is a commonly used term by Chinese people to address someone who is older than the speaker to show his politeness, respect and closeness. The term does not necessarily mean old age. "Lao Wai" is a colloquial term of address for foreigners。
Top 6 送別
中國人表達(dá)情感的方式相對(duì)內(nèi)斂。送別的時(shí)候，他們強(qiáng)忍淚水，吝于擁抱，種種“冷淡”表現(xiàn)讓老外深感詫異。所以，如果你和老外送別，舉止不妨灑脫奔放一些，可別讓他們覺得你是“冷血?jiǎng)游?rdquo;。
Like everyone else we are affectionate to our friends and relatives, but perhaps we show our affection in public less than other peoples. Maybe the whole family as well as some friends will go to the railway station or the airport to see a person off, no matter whether he/she goes abroad to study or to another province for work. This may well strike many Westerners as very moving, yet they might be puzzled when they see that nobody will hug or kiss when the time comes for saying goodbye. Friends may shake hands with the person who is leaving and parents may hold his/her hand for a long time with tears in their eyes, but with no other physical contact. In fact hugging and kissing are seldom seen in public in China, no matter what the occasion is。
Top 5 鼓掌
當(dāng)眾發(fā)言的時(shí)候，如果別人給自己鼓掌，為了表達(dá)謝意，中國人通常都會(huì)暫停發(fā)言，而后隨著聽眾一起鼓掌。 In this way he expresses his thanks to the audience. 可是老外就不理解為何要自己給自己鼓掌。自己給自己鼓掌，多不謙虛啊。
Of course, when a Chinese speaker claps his hands as the audience is applauding, he is not applauding himself, but expressing his thanks to his audience. As noted earlier, Westerners feel puzzled when watching such a scene, since they think the speaker or the performer is applauding himself.
所以，以后老外在場(chǎng)，發(fā)言的人不妨用鞠躬或者揮手代替鼓掌。當(dāng)然，微笑站立也是一種選擇。
Top 4 眼神
許多中國人在和別人說話，或者當(dāng)眾發(fā)言的時(shí)候，羞于和聽眾進(jìn)行眼神的交流。Some of them, perhaps because of nervousness, like to bury their nose in their manuscript to read their speech all the time. 這種做法其實(shí)是不禮貌的。
與人交流的時(shí)候，老外expects eye contact, though this does not have to be constant.
當(dāng)眾發(fā)言的時(shí)候，老外look at his audience now and then. 他們是不會(huì)把腦袋埋在稿子里面說話的。
Speaking in public is also a kind of two-way communication, which needs eye contact from both sides. The speaker will certainly feel embarrassed when he sees that his audience do not look at him. But if he doesn't look at his audience now and then, his audience also has the right not to listen to what he is saying. 如果你發(fā)言的時(shí)候沒有勇氣看聽眾，那么你也無權(quán)要求你的聽眾會(huì)和你形成良好的互動(dòng)。
Top 3 送禮
中國人送禮喜歡成雙，比如說兩瓶酒，兩條煙。一是為了顯示自己不是小氣人，二是為了討個(gè)吉利數(shù)字。去朋友或者親戚家做客，拎點(diǎn)水果是非常普遍的情況。但是，在西方，人們送酒的時(shí)候都是只送一瓶。
One is quite enough, two are of course welcome but unusual and not expected. 因?yàn)樗麄兂燥埖臅r(shí)候要喝客人帶來的酒，如果客人拿了兩瓶，似乎表明客人是個(gè)酒鬼，主人恐怕一瓶酒不夠喝。
去朋友家做客一般也不送水果。水果一般是作為看望病人時(shí)候的禮物?？赐甏宋?，希望大家能避開誤解的雷區(qū)，溝通無極限，交友無國界。而且，中國人接到別人的禮物，為了顯示自己不是個(gè)貪財(cái)之人，習(xí)慣于把禮物悄悄放在一旁，然后等客人離開后再拆開包裝;而老外則希望你當(dāng)著他的面打開禮物，并對(duì)他的禮物贊美一番。
In the West , it is regarded as polite to open gifts as soon as they are given to express appreciation. In China, the situation is quite the reverse. Normally we Chinese feel that if you open the gift as soon as it is given, you might embarrass the person who gives the gift and you might be thought greedy. So Chinese people tend to open the gifts after the visitors have left. What is more, many people send gifts without wrapping them, and if they wrap them, they usually tell the receiver what is inside, and the receiver will thank the sender and put the gift aside without unwrapping them since they already know what is inside. However, when we receive gifts from an English native speaker, in order to avoid misunderstanding, we may follow their custom by opening the gifts in front of him or her and express our appreciation。
Top 2 做客
中國人去別人家串門的時(shí)候都喜歡隨處逛，到處看。可老外是怎么看待這些行為的呢?"I'm often taken aback by the way visitors come round to my flat and seem to feel free to take the place over, putting on the telly, pulling down books from my shelves, even peering at letters I've left lying around on the desk." 雖說讓客人感到賓至如歸是好的待客之道，但老外還是忌諱你在做客的時(shí)候在他家里東逛西逛，甚至偷窺他的隱私。同樣的，涉及到薪資、年齡等隱私問題我們也不要張口就問。
Top 1 吃飯
“人是鐵，飯是鋼。一頓不吃餓得慌。”我們和老外的交往許多時(shí)候都發(fā)生在飯桌上。中國人請(qǐng)老外去家里吃飯，可能會(huì)準(zhǔn)備8-10道菜。你最好讓老外有個(gè)心理準(zhǔn)備，要么他們很可能根本沒有肚子去吃后面的菜了。
他們可能會(huì)覺得中國人hospitable, if anything too hospitable。
如果你去老外家吃飯，也許桌上僅僅就準(zhǔn)備了一道菜!而且他們也喜歡說
"The dishes are quite good; these dishes are quite famous"，絕對(duì)不像中國人喜歡說：“準(zhǔn)備不周，湊合吃點(diǎn)吧。”
還有，中國人為了顯示熱情，喜歡給別人夾菜。但是老外卻不喜歡要?jiǎng)e人給自己夾菜。
"I don't think I'll ever get used to the eating habits out here. You know, the way people put things on your plate..."
老外樂于讓人自主選擇喜歡的食物。
They think to help yourself is the best way. Foreigners give guests the chance to choose what is their favourite。
和老外吃飯，中國人千萬不要謙虛含蓄。
"Chinese never seem hungry when they come round to my place. Whenever I ask callers if they'd like a bite to eat they always say no."
大多數(shù)老外都是實(shí)在人。當(dāng)他們問你要不要吃點(diǎn)什么的時(shí)候，如果你謝絕了，他們會(huì)尊重你的決定，真的不給你東西吃哦。所以說，餓了就喊出來吧。
一句話，外國人的表達(dá)及處世方式更為直接，而中國人則更顯圓滑。
Foreigners never pretend to be modest. They just tell others what they think. If a Chinese person is faced with the same situation, maybe he or she would say, "I'm sorry. The restaurant is a little bit small and the dishes are just so so, but I hope you'll enjoy yourself."
10大誤會(huì)盤點(diǎn)完畢。希望今后你和老外相處的時(shí)候，能夠避開雷區(qū)。溝通無極限，交流無國界。
