雙語笑話：謀殺親夫

A Deadly Wife

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup，the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said，“Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease，combined with horrible stress. If you don’t do the following，your husband will surely die.”

“Each morning，fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant，and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don’t burden him with chores，as he probably had a hard day. Don’t discuss your problems with him，it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly，satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next ten months to a year，I think your husband will regain his health completely.”

On the way home，the husband asked his wife.

“What did the doctor say？”

“You’re going to die，”she replied.

謀殺親夫

一位婦女陪丈夫去看醫(yī)生。丈夫檢查完以后，醫(yī)生把她單獨(dú)叫進(jìn)辦公室。

醫(yī)生說：“你丈夫的病很嚴(yán)重，還伴有極度的精神緊張。如果你不采取以下措施，你丈夫一定會(huì)沒命的。”

“每天早上，給他做一份有益健康的早餐。注意，一定要讓他精神愉快，確保他有好的心情。中餐要營養(yǎng)豐富。晚餐尤其要精心準(zhǔn)備，不要拿家務(wù)事煩他，因?yàn)樗ぷ髁艘惶旌苄量唷Ｒ膊灰媚愕臒┬氖赂f，這只會(huì)加重他的精神負(fù)擔(dān)。最重要的是，你要滿足他的每一個(gè)愿望。如果你能堅(jiān)持這樣做十個(gè)月到一年，我想你丈夫會(huì)完全康復(fù)的。”

在回家的路上，丈夫問他的妻子：“醫(yī)生都說了些什么？”

“他說你快死了。”她答道。