雙語散文|巴 金——《激流》總序
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《激流》總序
幾年前我流了眼淚讀完托爾斯泰小說《復(fù)活》，曾經(jīng)在扉頁(yè)上寫了一句話：“生活本身就是一個(gè)悲劇。”
事實(shí)并不是這樣。生活并不是一個(gè)悲劇。它是一個(gè)“搏斗”。我們生活來做什么？或者說我們?yōu)槭裁匆羞@生命？羅曼·羅蘭的回答是“為的是來征服它 ”。我認(rèn)為他說得不錯(cuò)。
我有了生命以來，在這個(gè)世界上雖然僅僅經(jīng)歷了二十幾個(gè)寒暑，但是這短短的時(shí)期也并不是白白度過的。這其間我也曾看見了不少的東西，知道了不少的事情。我的周圍是無邊的黑暗，但是我并不孤獨(dú)，并不絕望。我無論在什么地方總看見那一股生活的激流在動(dòng)蕩，在創(chuàng)造它自己的道路，通過亂山碎石中間。
這激流永遠(yuǎn)動(dòng)蕩著，并不曾有一個(gè)時(shí)候停止過，而且它也不能夠停止；沒有什么東西可以阻止它。在它的途中，它也曾發(fā)射出種種的水花，這里面有愛，有恨，有歡樂，也有痛苦。這一切造成了奔騰的一股激流，具著排山之勢(shì)，向著唯一的海流去。這唯一的海是什么，而且什么時(shí)候它才可以流到這海里，就沒有人能夠確定地知道了。
我跟所有其余的人一樣，生活在這世界上，是為著來征服生活。我也曾參加在這個(gè)“搏斗”里面。我有我的愛，有我的恨，有我的歡樂，也有我的痛苦。但是我并沒有失去我的信仰：對(duì)于生活的信仰。我的生活還不會(huì)結(jié)束，我也不知道在前面還有什么東西等著我。然而我對(duì)于將來卻也有一點(diǎn)概念。因?yàn)檫^去并不是一個(gè)沉默的啞子，它會(huì)告訴我們一些事情。
在這里我所要展開給讀者看的乃是過去十多年生活的一幅圖畫。自然這里只有生活的一小部分，但已經(jīng)可以看見那一股由愛與恨、歡樂與受苦所組織成的生活的激流是如何地在動(dòng)蕩了。我不是一個(gè)說教者，所以我不能夠明確地指出一條路來，但是讀者自己可以在里面去找它。
有人說過，路本沒有，因?yàn)樽叩娜硕嗔?，便成了一條路。又有人說路是有的，正因?yàn)橛辛寺凡庞性S多人走。誰是誰非，我不想判斷。我還年輕，我還要活下去，我還要征服生活。我知道生活的激流是不會(huì)停止的，且看它把我載到什么地方去！
Preface to the Torrent Trilogy
Several years ago, after I finished reading Leo Tolstoy's Resurrection with tears in my eyes, I wrote on its title page, "Life itself is a tragedy".However, that is not how things are, for life is not a tragedy, but a "struggle". What do we live for? Or why do we live this life at all? The answer given by Romain Rolland is "to conquer life". I think he is right.
Ever since I was born, I have passed no more than twenty odd summers in this world, but this short period of time has not been spent for nothing at all. I have since seen a lot of things and come to know a lot of things. Though it is all darkness around me, I have never felt lonely, nor have I ever given up hope. Everywhere I go, I always see the torrent of life tumbling along to open up its way through a confused mass of mountains and rocks.
This torrent is always surging ahead; it has never stopped for a single moment and will never stop. Nothing whatever can hold it up. While on its way, it sometimes throws clouds of spray into the air embodying love and hate, and happiness and sorrow. All that makes up the tumultuous torrent rushing with terrific force towards the only sea. No one knows for sure what that only sea is and when the torrent is going to empty into it.
Like everybody else, I live in this world for the purpose of conquering life. I have also taken part in the "struggle". I have my own love and hate, and happiness and sorrow. But I have never lost my faith — a faith in life. There is still some way to go before my life runs out, and I do not know what the future has in store for me. Nevertheless, I am not without some idea of what the future is like because the past, being no silent mute, will give me some hint.
What I unfold here in the Trilogy before my readers is a picture of life of the past ten odd years. Of course it reflects only a small section of life, but enough, however, to afford a glimpse of the turbulent torrent of life with its love and hate, happiness and sorrow. I am no religious preacher, so I cannot point out a definite way out. Readers may here find a way out for themselves.
Some say that there is at first no road at all and that a road is created simply by the treading of passers-by. Others say that there is at first already a road available before more and more people come to walk on it. I do not want to judge who are right or who are wrong. I am still young, I want to live on, I want to conquer life. I know the torrent of life will never stop. Let's see where it is going to carry me!
這篇散文是作者為自己創(chuàng)作的小說《激流三部曲》（《家》、《春》、《秋》）所寫的序。
