雙語(yǔ)散文|聶紺弩——我若為王
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我若為王
在電影刊物上看見(jiàn)一個(gè)影片的名字：《我若為王》。從這影片的名字，我想到和影片毫無(wú)關(guān)系的另外的事。我想，自己如果作了王，這世界會(huì)成為一種怎樣的光景呢？這自然是一種完全可笑的幻想，我根本不想作王，也根本看不起王，王是什么東西呢？難道我腦中還有如此封建的殘物么？而且真想作王的人，他將用他的手去打天下，決不會(huì)放在口里說(shuō)的。但是假定又假定，我若為王，這世界會(huì)成為一種怎樣的光景？我若為王，自然我的妻就是王后了。我的妻的德性，我不懷疑，為王后只會(huì)有余的。但縱然沒(méi)有任何德性，縱然不過(guò)是個(gè)娼妓，那時(shí)候，她也仍舊是王后。一個(gè)王后是如何地尊貴呀，會(huì)如何地被人們像捧著天上的星星一樣捧來(lái)捧去呀，假如我能夠想象，那一定是一件有趣的事情。
我若為王，我的兒子，假如我有兒子，就是太子或王子了。我并不以為我的兒子會(huì)是一無(wú)所知，一無(wú)所能的白癡，但縱然是一無(wú)所知一無(wú)所能的白癡，也仍舊是太子或王子。一個(gè)太子或王子是如何地尊貴呀，會(huì)如何地被人們像捧天上的星星一樣地捧來(lái)捧去呀。假如我能想象，倒是件不是沒(méi)有趣味的事。
我若為王，我的女兒就是公主，我的親眷都是皇親國(guó)戚。無(wú)論他們?cè)鯓映舐鯓宇B劣，怎樣……也會(huì)被人們像捧天上的星星一樣地捧來(lái)捧去，因?yàn)樗齻兪琴F人。
我若為王，我的姓名就會(huì)改作：“萬(wàn)歲”，我的每一句話都成為：“圣旨”。我的意欲，我的貪念，乃至每一個(gè)幻想，都可竭盡全體臣民的力量去實(shí)現(xiàn)，即使是無(wú)法實(shí)現(xiàn)的。我將沒(méi)有任何過(guò)失，因?yàn)闆](méi)有人敢說(shuō)它是過(guò)失；我將沒(méi)有任何罪行，因?yàn)闆](méi)有人敢說(shuō)它是罪行。沒(méi)有人敢呵斥我，指摘我，除非把我從王位上趕下來(lái)。但是趕下來(lái)，就是我不為王了。我將看見(jiàn)所有的人們?cè)谖颐媲暗皖^，鞠躬，匍匐，連同我的尊長(zhǎng)，我的師友，和從前曾在我面前昂頭闊步耀武揚(yáng)威的人們。我將看不見(jiàn)一個(gè)人的臉，所看見(jiàn)的只是他們的頭頂或帽盔。或者所能夠看見(jiàn)的臉都是諂媚的，乞求的，快樂(lè)的時(shí)候不敢笑，不快樂(lè)的時(shí)候不敢不笑，悲戚的時(shí)候不敢哭，不悲戚的時(shí)候不敢不哭的臉。我將聽(tīng)不見(jiàn)人們的真正的聲音，所能聽(tīng)見(jiàn)的都是低微的，柔婉的，畏葸和嬌癡的，唱小旦的聲音：“萬(wàn)歲，萬(wàn)歲！萬(wàn)萬(wàn)歲！”這是他們的全部語(yǔ)言。“有道明君！偉大的主上啊！”這就是那語(yǔ)言的全部?jī)?nèi)容。沒(méi)有在我之上的人了，沒(méi)有和我同等的人了，我甚至?xí)械絾握{(diào)，寂寞和孤獨(dú)。
為什么人們要這樣呢？為什么要捧我的妻，捧我的兒女和親眷呢？因?yàn)槲沂峭?，是他們的主子，我將恍然大悟：我生活在這些奴才們中間，連我所敬畏的尊長(zhǎng)和師友也無(wú)一不是奴才，而我自己也不過(guò)是一個(gè)奴才的首領(lǐng)。
我是民國(guó)國(guó)民，民國(guó)國(guó)民的思想和生活習(xí)慣使我深深地憎惡一切奴才或奴才相，連同敬畏的尊長(zhǎng)和師友們。請(qǐng)科學(xué)家們不要見(jiàn)笑，我以為世界之所以還有待于改進(jìn)者，全因?yàn)橛羞@些奴才的緣故。生活在奴才們中間，作奴才們的首領(lǐng)，我將引為生平的最大恥辱，最大的悲哀。我將變成一個(gè)暴君，或者反而是明君：我將把我的臣民一齊殺死，連同尊長(zhǎng)和師友，不準(zhǔn)一個(gè)奴種留在人間。我將沒(méi)有一個(gè)臣民，我將不再是奴才們的君主。
我若為王，將終于不能為王，卻也真地為古今中外最大的王了。“萬(wàn)歲，萬(wàn)歲，萬(wàn)萬(wàn)歲！”我將和全世界的真的人們一同三呼。
If I Were King
Recently in a movie magazine I came across the title of a film: If I Were King. It has put me in mind of something entirely foreign to the film in question. I wonder what would become of this world if I myself were king. This is of course a ridiculous fancy, for being a king is the last thing I aspire to and also a thing I utterly despise. What the hell is a king? How can I still be so feudalistic in my mind? Moreover, if one is really bent on being a king, he will try to carry out his design by deeds instead of by words. But, to put it hypothetically, suppose I were king, what would this world look like?If I were king, my wife would of course be queen. With all her moral excellence, of which I make no doubt, she would be more than qualified for being a queen. But even if she had no virtue to speak of, or were just a whore, she would be queen all the same. Imagine how noble and dignified a queen would be and how people would keep lauding her to the skies like mad! It is indeed great fun for me to visualize all of this.
If I were king, my son, if any, would be crown prince or prince. I don't think my son will be ignorant or worthless in every way like an idiot. But, even if that were not the case, he would still be crown prince or prince. Imagine how noble and dignified a crown prince or prince would be and how people would keep lauding him to the skies like mad! It is indeed great fun for me to visualize all of this.
If I were king, my daughters would be princesses, and my relatives by marriage would all become members of the royal family. No matter how ugly or perverse or whatnot they were, people would keep lauding them to the skies like mad just the same because they were dignitaries.
If I were king, I would be addressed as "Your Majesty" and every word of mine would become a "royal edict". All my subjects would leave no stone unturned to carry out every will, every avaricious desire and even every whim of mine, even though they were all beyond the possible. I would do no wrong simply because no one dared to call it a wrong. I would commit no crime simply because no one dared to call it a crime. No one would dare to berate or find fault with me unless I was removed from the throne, which meant that I was no longer the king. I would see all people hang their heads, bow low or prostrate themselves at my feet, including my respected elders, teachers, friends and even those who had used to swagger arrogantly in front of me. I could see none of their faces; all I could see were the tops of their heads or the hats or helmets on their heads. The only faces I could see would be ingratiating or supplicating — faces that dared not smile to express joy; faces that dared not refrain from a forced smile when there was no joy at all to justify a smile; faces that dared not cry to express sorrow; faces that dared not refrain from a feigned cry when there was no sorrow to justify a cry. I could hear no true voices of my people. All I could hear would be the feeble, soft, timid and affected voice, like that of a female Peking opera singer, chanting, "Long live the King!" That would be their language in to. "Great is the King, our enlightened lord!" That would be the sole content of their language. There would be no one above me or on an equal footing with me. I would even feel bored, lonely and isolated.
Why would people behave like that? Why would they flatter my wife, my children and my relatives? Because I was king, their master. It would suddenly dawn on me that living among these flunkeys, including my esteemed elders, teachers and friends, I myself, too, was nothing but a mere head flunkey.
I am the citizen of the Republic. Being accustomed to the mode of thinking and living of a republican citizen, I would deeply abhor all servility and flunkeys, including my esteemed elders, teachers and friends. Dear scientists, please don't laugh at me. Methinks the world is very much in need of reform simply because of the presence of these flunkeys. I would regard it as the deepest disgrace and sorrow of my life to live among the flunkeys and become their chief. I would rather become a tyrant or an enlightened king so that I could kill off all my subjects, among them my respected elders, teachers and friends, and have the flunkey species exterminated once for all. Then, with all my subjects gone, I would no longer be the king of flunkeys.
If I were king and ultimately ended up becoming no king at all, I would indeed be the greatest king that had ever breathed since time immemorial. I would join true people all the world over in giving three cheers for myself.
《我若為王》是中國(guó)現(xiàn)代杰出雜文家聶紺弩（1903—1986）寫于1941年的一篇雜文，文字通俗易懂，內(nèi)容諷刺辛辣，流露了對(duì)專制統(tǒng)治者和奴才的蔑視。
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