GRE寫作滿分范文三十一

"Our declining environment may bring the people of the world together as no politician, philosopher, or war ever could.  Environmental problems are global in scope and respect no nation's boundaries.  Therefore, people are faced with the choice of unity and cooperation on the one hand or disunity and a common tragedy on the other."  

Our declining environment may bring the people of the world together as no politician, philosopher, or war ever could.  Environmental issues are a growing concern in our country today.  It is an issue that concerns every person, no one is excluded.  

Facing and solving environmental issues calls for unity and cooperation.  Prejudices should be put aside in this time of need.  Without unity our world as we know it will not exist in twenty-five years.  People as a whole need to take action.  Without unity and cooperation little will be accomplished.  

There are many environmental issues we are facing today.  For example, recycling is a simple and effective way to help the environment.  If everyone did a small part the results would be enormous.  Recycling is a good example because it is something every single person is capable of doing.  

There are many ways people of any age, race, or sex can contribute to help the environment.  Emissions testing for exhausts on automobiles is one way to help keep unnecessary pollutants from contaminating the air.  Very few cities require emissions testing for automobiles.  Columbus, for example, does not require emissions testing.  My small hometown of Amherst, Ohio does require this test.  

I believe the government needs to implement stricter regulations regarding environmental issues and also increase the funding that is allotted for it.  Mandatory recycling laws with a stiff penalty for breaking the law is one solution.  Funding for groups to do research is imperative.  Without research there is very little we would know about anything including diseases and microorganisms.  

People of the world need to understand the situation our generation and generations to come are faced with.  This understanding needs to come from education.  The United States has always been a forerunner in wars, peace talks, etc.  It is now time for the United States to be the leader in solutions to environmental concerns.  The greatest barrier in any situation is communication.  If we communicate with each other and work together instead of apart results would be seen.  Education is another great concern, especially in underdeveloped countries and third world nations.  There is a lack of education in many of these countries.  Education is the key to success.  

In summary I would like to emphasize the importance in unity and cooperation on global concerns such as the environment.  Also education is very important in making headway.  I also believe the government should get more involved in these issues. Comments: 

This paper presents and supports an adequate analysis of the issue.  After stating the need for cooperation on the environment, the writer proposes several very specific remedies for environmental problems: recycling, emissions testing, research, education, and communication.  The detailed description of emissions testing is useful; however, the other remedies (recycling, research, etc.) are not developed fully or persuasively.  

In some areas the response suffers from needless repetition.  Paragraph six, for example, moves from education to communication and back to education.  The conclusion, moreover, adds little, merely repeating earlier statements.  

The control of grammar and usage is generally competent, but the sentences tend to be choppy.  Although most of the ideas are stated clearly, the relationship between the ideas is not always made clear: "Also education is very important in making headway.  I also believe the government should get more involved in these issues."