GRE寫作滿分范文四十

Six months ago the region of Forestville increased the speed limit for vehicles traveling on the region's highways by ten miles per hour.  Since that change took effect, the number of automobile accidents in that region has increased by 15 percent.  But the speed limit in Elmsford, a region neighboring Forestville, remained unchanged, and automobile accidents declined slightly during the same six-month period.  Therefore, if the citizens of Forestville want to reduce the number of automobile accidents on the region's highways, they should campaign to reduce Forestville's speed limit to what it was before the increase.  

When we compare two things, we like to put them on the same background. same condition.  

For the fact given above, in the same time, foundmentally, the two region have the same traffic condition, except, the speedlimit is improved in one, and the other keep the same. So we can get the result that the reason of the difference is that the improved speed limit. And also the change will give some other inconvinent to the people there. For example, the people will not familiar with the change, have some problem in handle the speed.  

So, what I think is that the citizen should show the government the statistic number of the difference. Argue with them. Comments: 

This response is fundamentally deficient as a critique for two reasons:  

-- although the writer has relied heavily on the language of the topic,it is clear that the writer has no real control of language, and

 -- there is little or no evidence of the writer's ability to develop an    organized response.