GRE寫作官方題庫高頻ARGUMENT題目滿分范文分享：application for a business loan

　　The following was written as a part of an application for a small business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe:

　　"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, our proposed club, the C Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's jazz festival last summer, several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. It is clear that the C Note cannot help but make money."

　　【滿分范文賞析】

　　This loan applicant claims that a jazz club in Monroe would be a profitable venture. To support this claim the applicant points out that a jazz club in Monroe would face no competition, as the nearest club is 65 miles away. He also cites various other evidences that jazz is popular among Monroe residents. Careful examination of this supporting evidence, however, reveals that it lends little credible support to the applicant's claim.

　　【本段結(jié)構(gòu)】

　　本文采用了標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的Argument開頭段結(jié)構(gòu)，即C—A—F的開頭結(jié)構(gòu)。本段首先概括原文的Conclusion，之后簡要提及原文為支持其結(jié)論所引用的一系列Assumption及細(xì)節(jié)，最后給出開頭段到正文段的過渡句，指出原文的Flaw，即這些Assumption無法讓原文邏輯上沒有問題。

　　【本段功能】

　　作為Argument開頭段，本段具體功能就在于發(fā)起攻擊并概括原文的結(jié)論，即在Monroe地區(qū)開辦一個爵士樂俱樂部是有利可圖的。本段接下來提到了原文中為支持之前的Conclusion所提供的證據(jù)，包括，在該地區(qū)不存在競爭對手，以及在該地區(qū)爵士樂非常流行。文章提及這些信息，為是在正文段中對這些Assumption即將進(jìn)行的具體攻擊做鋪墊。

　　First of all, if the demand for a live jazz club in Monroe were as great as the applicant claims, it seems that Monroe should already have one or more such clubs. The fact that the closest jazz club is 65 miles away reveals a point of uncertainty, which should be reserved for further study. Since the applicant has not adequately responded to this concern, his claim that the proposed club would be profitable is untenable.

　　【本段結(jié)構(gòu)】

　　本段采用了標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的Argument正文段結(jié)構(gòu)，即先是提及原文的第一個邏輯錯誤，之后分析該邏輯錯誤的原因，接下來，進(jìn)一步分析這樣的錯誤為什么讓原文的Conclusion不成立。

　　【本段功能】

　　作為正文第一段，本段攻擊原文所犯的第一個重要邏輯錯誤——因果類錯誤。原文當(dāng)中提到，雖然爵士樂在當(dāng)?shù)睾芰餍?，但是在Monroe當(dāng)?shù)夭]有爵士樂俱樂部，所以在Monroe并不存在俱樂部的競爭者。但相反，這個假設(shè)的因果關(guān)系可能被顛倒了，即正是因?yàn)榫羰繕吩诋?dāng)?shù)匦枨罅坎桓邔?dǎo)致當(dāng)?shù)夭淮嬖诰羰繕肪銟凡俊Ｋ?，原文?dāng)中的這個觀點(diǎn)不合理。

　　Thirdly, while several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe, their residing in Monroe lend little significant support to the applicant's claim. It is entirely possible that these musicians perform elsewhere, perhaps at the club located 65 miles away. This would go a long way toward explaining why Monroe does not currently have a jazz club, and it would weaken the applicant's assertion that the C-Note would be profitable.

　　【本段結(jié)構(gòu)】

　　本段采用了標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的Argument正文段結(jié)構(gòu)，即先是提及原文的第三個邏輯錯誤，之后分析該邏輯錯誤的原因，接下來，進(jìn)一步分析這樣的錯誤為什么讓原文的Conclusion不成立。

　　【本段功能】

　　作為正文第三段，本段攻擊原文所犯的第三個重要邏輯錯誤——因果類錯誤。原文假設(shè)因?yàn)樵贛onroe當(dāng)?shù)赜泻芏嗑羰繕芬魳芳遥麄兊拇嬖跁龠M(jìn)C-Note這個爵士樂俱樂部的盈利。但實(shí)際上這些音樂家可能不會更傾向于在當(dāng)?shù)氐木銟凡垦莩?。因此，原文的這個關(guān)于音樂家和俱樂部盈利的因果假設(shè)是沒有說服力的。

　　Finally, the nationwide study showing that the average jazz fan spends $1,000 each year on jazz entertainment would lend support to the applicant's claim only if it could be determined that a portion of this budget would certainly be allocated for the use of enjoyment in a new club.

　　【本段結(jié)構(gòu)】

　　本段采用了標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的Argument正文段結(jié)構(gòu)，即先是提及原文的第三個邏輯錯誤，之后分析該邏輯錯誤的原因，接下來，進(jìn)一步分析這樣的錯誤為什么讓原文的Conclusion不成立。

　　【本段功能】

　　作為正文第四段，本段攻擊原文所犯的第四個重要邏輯錯誤——樣本類錯誤。原文假設(shè)國家性質(zhì)的調(diào)查能夠等同于當(dāng)?shù)氐那闆r。但實(shí)際上當(dāng)?shù)氐膫€體情況可能并非如此，因此原文的這個觀點(diǎn)是沒有說服力的。