The following is a letter to the head of the tourism bureau on the island of Tria:
"Erosion of beach sand along the shores of Tria Island is a serious threat to our island and our tourist industry. In order to stop the erosion, we should charge people for using the beaches. Although this solution may annoy a few tourists in the short term, it will reduce the number of people using the beaches and will raise money for replenishing the sand. Replenishing the sand, as was done to protect buildings on the nearby island of Batia, will help protect buildings along our shores, thereby reducing these buildings' risk of additional damage from severe storms. And since the areas along the shore will be more attractive as a result, the beaches will be preserved and the area's tourist industry will improve over the long term."
【滿分范文賞析】
This letter's author recommends charging fees for public access to Tria's beaches as means of raising funds for the purpose of saving Tria's tourist industry. The author reasons that while beach-access fees would reduce the number of beachgoers, it would provide revenue for replenishing beach sand needed to protect nearby buildings. The measures would thereby enhance the area's attractiveness lending to long-term improvement. To support the argument the author indicates that on a nearby island, beach sand was replenished thereby reducing the risk of storm damage to buildings. The argument is not entirely convincing for the following reasons.
【本段結(jié)構(gòu)】
本文采用了標準的Argument開頭段結(jié)構(gòu),即C—A—F的開頭結(jié)構(gòu)。本段首先概括原文的Conclusion,之后簡要提及原文為支持其結(jié)論所引用的一系列Assumption及細節(jié),最后給出開頭段到正文段的過渡句,指出原文的Flaw,即這些Assumption無法讓原文的結(jié)論具有說服力。
【本段功能】
作為Argument開頭段,本段具體功能就在于發(fā)起攻擊并概括原文的結(jié)論,即為了保護Tria城市的旅游業(yè),需要對使用Tria沙灘的游客采取收費政策。本段接下來提到了原文中為支持之前的Conclusion所提供的證據(jù),盡管收費政策會是當?shù)氐挠慰蜏p少,但是收集來的資金能夠填補當?shù)氐挠糜诒Wo臨近建筑物的沙灘。此外,臨近的島嶼在采取了相同的政策后,當?shù)氐纳碁┑玫搅颂钛a因此減少了暴風雨對建筑物的破壞。文章提及這些信息,為是在正文段中對這些Assumption即將進行的具體攻擊做鋪墊。
First of all, the assumptions regarding the effects of the proposed beach-access fees weaken the argument. The author ignores the possibility that charging fees might deter so many tourists that Tria would be worse off overall or that the vast majority of Tria's tourists and residents alike would happily pay for beach access. In either case, adopting the author's proposal might harm, rather than benefit, Tria's tourist industry in the long run.
【本段結(jié)構(gòu)】
本段采用了標準的Argument正文段結(jié)構(gòu),即先是提及原文的第一個邏輯錯誤,之后分析該邏輯錯誤的原因,接下來,進一步分析這樣的錯誤為什么讓原文的Conclusion不成立。
【本段功能】
作為正文第一段,本段攻擊原文所犯的第一個重要邏輯錯誤——因果類錯誤。原文假設通過采用收費政策,能夠得到解決沙灘填補問題的資金。但是這樣的因果關系并不一定成立,畢竟這個假設忽視了收費政策帶來的負面影響。因此,原文的結(jié)論不成立。
Also consider the case of nearby Batia where replenishing beach sand has served to protect shoreline buildings. Tria may not be able to achieve the same protective measures due to some geographical difference between the two islands. Perhaps Batia is in a far better position than Tria financially to replenish its sand on a continual basis. In short, the argument fails to present any evidence indicating that the islands are, in all practical purposes, the same and that the proposed measures would have the same desired effect.
【本段結(jié)構(gòu)】
本段采用了標準的Argument正文段結(jié)構(gòu),即先是提及原文的第二個邏輯錯誤,之后分析該邏輯錯誤的原因,接下來,進一步分析這樣的錯誤為什么讓原文的Conclusion不成立。
【本段功能】
作為正文第二段,本段攻擊原文所犯的第二個重要邏輯錯誤——類比類錯誤。原文假設適用于Batia島的政策也能適用于Tria島。但是這樣的類比并不一定成立,因為這兩者之間可能存在很多差異性。因此在沒有考慮到差異性的情況下,原文的這個假設也是不合理的。
Finally, let’s also take into account the fact that even if replenishing Tria's beach sand is financially feasible and would protect nearby buildings, no evidence present indicates that Tria's tourist industry would be saved. Perhaps Tria's tourist appeal has little or nothing to do with the beach and nearby buildings. For that matter, perhaps Tria's tourist appeal would be greater with fewer buildings along the coast. The author’s argument isn’t compelling because there is no link between the wellbeing of the buildings along the coast to the overall health of the tourist industry.
【本段結(jié)構(gòu)】
本段采用了標準的Argument結(jié)尾段結(jié)構(gòu),即C—S的結(jié)尾結(jié)構(gòu)。首先再次重申原文Conclusion是站不住腳的,接下來給出可以增強原文說服力的合理的Suggestion,包括原文作者需要進一步提供的證據(jù)和細節(jié)信息等。
【本段功能】
段作為結(jié)尾段,具體功能即為總結(jié)歸納+提出建議。段落首先再次重申強調(diào)原文作者的論證不合理,接下來給出合理的建議:作者必須證明對沙灘游客采取收費的這種政策能夠給保護沙灘的資金收集帶來實際的正面效果,同時,沙灘的填補和臨近建筑物的保護的確能夠給當?shù)氐穆糜螛I(yè)帶來積極的作用。不難發(fā)現(xiàn),結(jié)尾段總結(jié)提出的建議與正文各段中依次攻擊的錯誤遙相呼應,即分別對應了樣本類錯誤和因果類錯誤,這使全篇文章顯得渾然一體。