劍13Test2小作文9分范文賞析：租住房屋占比

　　

　　The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011.

　　Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

　　劍橋雅思小作文解析

　　我們都知道，動(dòng)態(tài)柱狀圖可以看做線圖。

　　1) 租房家庭的比例總體下降，最后小幅上升

　　2) 住自購(gòu)房的家庭的比例總體上升，最后小幅下降

　　似乎這是一個(gè)2條線的線圖，文章結(jié)構(gòu)：

　　A. 把信息分成2個(gè)主體段，分別寫租房和住自購(gòu)房的家庭對(duì)應(yīng)的兩條線

　　B. 然后，在結(jié)尾段寫1971年以及之前和之后租房和自購(gòu)房的比例大小關(guān)系

　　然而，這樣想就錯(cuò)了。

　　不建議這樣寫，有2個(gè)原因

　　1圖形隱含了信息：租房家庭比例+住自購(gòu)房的家庭比例=100%

　　數(shù)據(jù)是否需要全部寫?不用。既然加起來是100%，其實(shí)每一年寫租房(或者住自購(gòu)房的)家庭的比例即可。那么，在你把租房家庭主體段寫完之后，住自購(gòu)房的家庭主體段已經(jīng)不需要寫了

　　2雖然1971年之前的5年租房的比住自購(gòu)房的多，但是差異一樣嗎?顯然不一樣，而這個(gè)差異大小的區(qū)別是必寫信息。

　　正確的分段方式

　　主體段1：1971年以及之前的共12個(gè)比例分成一大組(一個(gè)主體段)，要比較(租房比住自購(gòu)房)多得特別多和多得沒那么多

　　主體段2：1971年之后的8個(gè)比例分成另一大組(另一個(gè)主體段)，其他同上

　　結(jié)尾段：寫租房的總趨勢(shì)和住自購(gòu)房的總趨勢(shì)

　　推薦這種分段方式，是因?yàn)樗芨玫卣故緢D形中的 comparisons, 其實(shí)也算是這個(gè)題目的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)寫法。

　　但是，并不是非要用標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的方式才能寫作文。

　　如果不這樣分段，這篇小作文能達(dá)到7分嗎?

　　能，只要你語言夠好。

　　劍橋雅思小作文范文

　　開頭段

　　The bar chart illustrates how the proportions of households that lived in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales changed from 1918 to 2011.

　　主體段1：1971年之前

　　Before 1971, more households lived in rented accommodation than in owned accommodation. The biggest gap was in 1918, when 77% households rented. The same proportions (68%) of households lived in owned accommodation in 1939 and 1953. In 1961, there were as many as 40% of households in owned accommodation. Finally, the year 1971 witnessed equal proportions of households that lived in both types of accommodation.

　　主體段2：1971年之后

　　On the other hand, there were more households that lived in owned accommodation than in rented accommodation after 1971. In 1991 and 2001, households in owned accommodation more than doubled those in rented accommodation. The difference was less prominent in 1981 and 2001, when about 60% of households lived in owned accommodation.

　　結(jié)尾段：租房和住自購(gòu)房家庭的趨勢(shì)

　　It is clear that, while there was an increase in the percentage of households in owned accommodation in these two nations, fewer and fewer households rented.