直接搬出一篇雅思大作文習作,來make my point.
Nowadays, we have different way of life than our parents. We tend to criticize their thoughts and concepts for being not fit to such a fast growing society. However, some traditional ideas, in my opinion, are more valuable and should be inherited.
First, most principles, though dating from the past, own their values to the present and the future because they are the essences of our ancestors’ wisdom. They play significant roles in keep our society sustainable development from one generation to another. It is the heritage of traditional opinions that enables us to be frugal for living materials, natural and social resources. In contrast, if we judge the old ideas simply by its fit for modern times, it is more likely to deny those for which we are desperately look.
Meanwhile, it is noticeable that some tradition thoughts and concepts are increasingly integrated into modern world, especially in the domain of fashion design. The trend of back-to-ancients is a vivid demonstration in which the blend of traditional elements and modern design wins the popularity among younger generation. In this way, it seems arbitrary to assume that older generation’s traditional ideas are not the right way in the present age.
Despite, we still acknowledge that part of stereotypes desperately need to be reviewed or abandoned. Some obsolete viewpoints only followed the trend in the past and do not catch up the new generation due to their limitation. For example, gender discrimination existed in the past time but has been argued by the modern society, in which we advocate that females are able to have equal opportunities to chase their dreams, just like males do.
Therefore, it is carelessly to make a sweeping generalization that old traditions are not suitable to modern lives. It is rational to preserve those valuable and correct traditional ethics and discard the incompatible ones.
可以找一找這篇語言底子不錯的雅思大作文,在句式使用上的一個特點,就是“It is”句型的泛濫,在全文的分布是:第2段,2次;第3段,2次;第5段,2次。最過分的就是第5段,只有2句話,就用了2次it is 句型。
筆者對此做的點評:我忍不住要重重地提醒你,你的全文中使用it is +adj的次數(shù)過多過濫,不信?你可以看看你的結(jié)論段。不要認為這種表達用得越多越好。使用這種表達,在我看來,是一種逃避責任的表達方式,因為你可以輕松地省去主語,用較為隱晦的方式來表達觀點。
在雅思寫作中,有些時候,出于某些需要,我們會選擇使用某種句型。但如果因為習慣了不假思索的使用,而讓自己的文章顯得程式化,得不償失。這6句,第一句之前已經(jīng)做出了修改:Traditional ideas teach us to be frugal and always save for the future. 第2句"if we judge the old ideas simply by its fit for modern times, it is more likely to deny those for which we are desperately look"可修改為"If judging the old ideas simply by whether it is fit for modern times, we are more likely to miss what we desperately seek."