It never occurred to me that if one word from him could make me so happy, another could just as easily crush me, that if I didn’t want to be unhappy, I should learn to beware of such small joys as well.
我從來(lái)沒(méi)想過(guò),如果他的一句話(huà)讓我如此幸福,另一句話(huà)也能同樣輕易擊垮我。如果我不想落個(gè)不幸,我也應(yīng)該學(xué)會(huì)提防這小小的喜悅。
But on that same night I used the heady elation of the moment to speak to Marzia. We danced past midnight, then I walked her back by way of the shore. Then we stopped. I said I was tempted to take a quick swim, expecting she would hold me back. But she said she too loved swimming at night. Our clothes were off in a second. “You’re not with me because you’re angry with Chiara?”
“Why am I angry with Chiara?”
“Because of him.”
I shook my head, feigning a puzzled look meant to show that I couldn’t begin to guess where she’d fished such a notion from.
但當(dāng)天晚上,我就趁著當(dāng)下那點(diǎn)令人飄飄然的得意歡欣和瑪琪雅閑聊起來(lái)。我們跳舞跳到午夜之后,然后沿著海岸送她回家。我們?cè)诎肼吠O聛?lái)。我說(shuō)我很想游會(huì)兒泳,以為她要阻止我,她卻說(shuō)她也很喜歡在夜里游泳。我們立刻脫掉衣服。“你不是因?yàn)樯鎭喞臍獠鸥以谝黄鸬陌桑?rdquo;
“我為什么生奇亞拉的氣?”
“因?yàn)樗健?rdquo;
我搖搖頭,裝出一臉困惑的樣子,表示我搞不懂她怎么有這種想法。
She asked me to turn around and not stare while she used her sweater to towel her body dry. I pretended to sneak a clandestine glance, but was too obedient not to do as I was told. I didn’t dare ask her not to look when I put my clothes on but was glad she looked the other way. When we were no longer naked, I took her hand and kissed her on the palm, then kissed the space between her fingers, then her mouth. She was slow to kiss me back, but then she didn’t want to stop.
她要我轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身去,別趁她用運(yùn)動(dòng)衫擦干身子時(shí)盯著她看,我假裝偷瞄一眼,但因?yàn)樘?tīng)話(huà)還是照著她的話(huà)做。輪到我穿衣服的時(shí)候,我不敢要求她別看,不過(guò)她撇開(kāi)眼去我倒是很高興。等我們穿好衣服后,我牽起她的手吻了她的掌心,然后吻她手指之間的地方,再吻她的嘴。她沒(méi)有立即回吻我,可是接著她就不想停下來(lái)了。
We were to meet at the same spot on the beach the following evening. I’d be there before her, I said.
“Just don’t tell anyone,” she said.
I motioned that my mouth was zipped shut.
第二天傍晚,我們打算在海邊同一個(gè)地點(diǎn)見(jiàn)面。我會(huì)比她早到,我說(shuō)。
“不要告訴別人。”她說(shuō)。
我作勢(shì)把嘴巴拉上拉鏈。