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托福寫作用詞的十大策略

所屬教程:托福寫作

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2015年05月28日

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  這里的宏觀是就一篇文章的框架結構而言的,而微觀是指一篇文章的語篇要素,即文章中表達意義的微觀單位,包括單詞、短語和句子。語篇要素運用的純熟,能很好地反映一個人的語言修養(yǎng),準確的用詞、多樣化的句式結構以及精妙得體的修辭會使整篇文章熠熠生輝,極富感染力。

  寫作中用詞不準確是很容易犯的毛病,good,terrible,see,nice,kind,greatly,think,know,something 等詞匯在學生作文中反復出現(xiàn)。這些詞本身并沒有問題,是英語常用詞,但是它們表達的意思過于模糊,很多情況下,應該使用意義更加準確的詞。況且,學生老是使用這幾個詞會給人以表達形式單調,詞匯量貧乏,文章缺乏感染力的印象。

  下面的一些例子,通過換用一、兩個準確生動的詞語或是運用一些固定搭配及習語就使整個句子增色不少。

  1.Original: Solving trivial problems in the dorm will add your social experience and helpyou to understand other people’s feelings and learn to be kind.

  Revised: Solving trivial problems in the dorm will enrich your social experience andhelp you to understand other people’s feelings andlearn to be considerate.

  亮點評析

  add,kind表達的含義都比較寬泛。

  add可以指數量上的增加,也可以指程度的加強,對于“豐富經驗、增加知識”這個意思,用enrich會使表達更準確。

  kind從字面意義上講是“好的、善良的”,用kind來形容人無法具體地表現(xiàn)出一個人的性格特征到底怎樣,原句中是想表達“考慮周到、體貼入微”的特點,要準確表達這個含義應選擇considerate。

  2. Original:Science and technology have greatly influenced our lives and our society ischanging very rapidly.

  Revised:Science and technology have come to pervade every aspect of our lives and, as aresult, society is changing at a speed which is quite unprecedented.

  亮點評析

  greatly,rapidly 屬于常用詞,表示程度高、速度快,這樣的詞在表達效果上不夠具體,缺乏說服力,在修改后的句子中用了pervade every aspect of our lives就具體生動地表現(xiàn)出科技的影響力到底有多大,其影響力已滲透到我們生活的方方面面,at a speed which is quite unprecedented意為“以一種前所未有的速度”,形象地道出了變化速度之快。

  3.Original: Young people tend to think that real life is as nice and interestingas it is in the novels and movies, while more experienced adults think thiskind of naive daydream will only be destroyed by later experiences and everyone should learn to get used to common everyday life.

  Revised:Young people tend to think that real life is as dramatic and fascinating as itis in the novels and movies, while more experienced adults think this kind ofnaive daydream will only be destroyed by later experiences and every one shouldlearn to get used to tedious everyday life.

  亮點評析

  nice,interesting,common都屬于普通詞匯,用到句子中也顯得平淡蒼白。nice的意思是“好的,令人愉快的”,interesting是“有趣的”,這兩個詞都不能準確地描繪出年輕人所憧憬的美好生活,句中想表達的是年輕人認為生活如同小說、電影一般充滿戲劇變化,激動人心,要體現(xiàn)這層含義應該用dramatic,fascinating。dramatic表示“刺激的,戲劇性的,給人深刻印象的”,fascinating表示“具有強烈吸引力的,迷人的,使人神魂顛倒的”,這兩個詞的程度要比nice,interesting深得多,表現(xiàn)力也更強。

  原句用common表達實際的現(xiàn)實生活的枯燥無味是不準確的,common的意思是“普通的,平常的”,普通平常的東西不一定是枯燥的,tedious是表示“(因過長、過慢或單調)令人厭倦的,煩人的”,恰好傳達出現(xiàn)實生活由于瑣碎和重復而變得索然無味這種含義。

  4.Original: You should compete to live in this society.

  Revised:You should compete for survival; otherwise, you will be thrown out of the tideof society.

  亮點評析

  原句平平淡淡,只是告訴人們要在社會立足,必須競爭,但這樣一句簡單的勸告似乎缺乏說服力,修改后的句子用了compete for survival,為了生存而競爭,而且后面又添加了一個并列分句,補充說明了如果不compete的后果就是be thrown out of the tide ofsociety,被社會的浪潮所淘汰,使用這些更加具體深刻的詞匯能夠形象生動地表現(xiàn)出競爭的慘烈。

  5.Original:I really believe that smoking is harmful to people’s health.

  Revised:I have a profound conviction that smoking is harmful to people’s health.

  亮點評析

  conviction的意思是“堅定的看法或信仰”,have a profound conclusion表示對某種看法深信不疑,作文中提出觀點的句子用have a profound conclusion會比用believe態(tài)度更堅決,立場更鮮明,而且believe這個詞非常簡單,是英語初學者就應掌握的詞匯,換成have aprofound conclusion立即增加了句子的復雜程度,體現(xiàn)了較強的語言運用能力。類似的提出觀點的表達還有:

  Ihold a point of view that…

  Ihold the opinion that…

  6.Original:We know that sometimes success is measured by how much money you earn.

  Revised:It does not surprise us to discover that sometimes success is measured in termsof the money you earn.

  亮點評析

  如上句的believe一樣,know也是非常初級的詞匯,作文中出現(xiàn)I believe that…,I know that…這樣的表達只能體現(xiàn)考生寫作技巧的稚嫩,用It does not surprise us to discover that…替換Weknow that…并沒有改變原句的含義,卻使全句頓時增添了亮點。

  7.Original: We all know that most factories would be of no use ifthere were not clean water supply.

  Revised:It goes without saying that most factories would be of no use if there were notclean water supply.

  亮點評析

  同上例一樣,know這樣的初級詞匯應避免在作文中使用,It goes without sayingthat…是一個固定結構,意思是“……是不言而喻的”,常在作文中用來引經據典或表明一個盡人皆知的道理,類似的表達還有:

  Anold saying goes that…

  Proverbgoes that…

  Itis universally acknowledged that…

  Itis generally accepted that…

  8.Original:Some other people think that people should read extensively.

  Revised:Another position says that people should read extensively.

  亮點評析

  同know,believe一樣,think也應該盡量避免使用,修改后的句子中是用Another position says that…代替think提出另一種觀點,也可以用hold a point of view,hold the opinion這樣的短語替換。

  9.Original:The unexpected win of the match give us confidence.

  Revised:The unexpected win of the match boost our confidence.

  亮點評析

  give也屬于英語中最初級、最基本的詞匯,只表示“給,給予”這個動作,不涉及動作的性質和狀態(tài),若表示增添信心,增強士氣,比較地道的說法是用boost confidence/morale,如:The change ofmanagement has boosted morale throughout the company. 管理模式的改變使整個公司上下士氣倍受鼓舞。

  10.Original:The use of drugs has increased greatly in the last ten years.

  Revised:The use of drugs has increased significantly in the last ten years.

  亮點評析

  greatly是一般用語,表示程度高,“很,非常”,使用相當普遍而沒有新意,在寫作中應盡量避免使用這些通俗而又陳舊的詞匯,應換用一些更加正式,更有說服力的詞語,例如significantly表示達到了非常重要的或可觀的程度,“重大的,可觀的”,能夠具體說明藥品使用方面,增長幅度巨大。significantly還可以替換成considerably,tremendously等,同樣具有不錯的表達效果。


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