托福寫作之五：How to Use Transitions in Your Writing

沒有過渡詞，文章的觀點(diǎn)表達(dá)會顯得不是很清楚，沒有條理。

有些同學(xué)在寫作中犯的錯誤就是寫的在文章中一個過渡詞也沒有。但幸好這個錯誤不是很普遍，很多學(xué)生也意識到了過渡詞的重要性。

但寫作中，很多學(xué)生還會犯一個錯誤，那就是僅僅在句子開頭加上一個過渡詞。通常這個過渡詞非常簡單，不是描述類詞語。還有就是在每段前加上表示順序的詞語，如“first,” “second,” “finally,” etc…。這些詞語放在段首，使文章看起來像是順序的羅列，而不是一篇文章不可分割的一部分。

我們下來看一個例子：

THE QUESTION

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment—doing things they like to do—rather than doing things they should do.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

THE ANSWER (sample introductory paragraph, with transition words underlined)

With modern electronic entertainment always at out fingertips, there is no doubt that the modern world offers many chances for leisure. Because of this, there are some concerns that people in this day and age are too interested in personal enjoyment and are not productive enough. I disagree with this concern for two reasons. First, modern technology allows us to do things more quickly, which allows us to do our jobs more efficiently. Second, the modern way of life hasn’t changed the amount of time we spend working or having fun.

開頭作者就主題給出了非常有趣的陳述，介紹了有關(guān)主題的具體內(nèi)容，闡釋了自己的觀點(diǎn)。但后兩句與文章的銜接并不好。前一句并沒有提到work and jobs，但過渡詞后突然就提到了有關(guān)work and jobs的內(nèi)容。

對比一下后兩句就會發(fā)現(xiàn)這兩句有點(diǎn)自相矛盾，第一個過渡詞first后闡述了因?yàn)榭萍?，工作發(fā)生了變化，但second后的句子意思是在當(dāng)代工作并沒有發(fā)生什么變化。

但可以對這段進(jìn)行改進(jìn)。這段的問題并不在于內(nèi)容，而是過渡詞。下面就是對上一段話的改進(jìn)：

With modern electronic entertainment always at out fingertips, there is no doubt that the modern world offers many chances for leisure. Because of this, there are some concerns that people in this day and age are too interested in personal enjoyment and are not productive enough. I disagree with this concern for two reasons.Where productivity is concerned, modern technology allows us to do things more quickly, which really allows us to be more productive, not less productive, at our jobs. Additionally, when it comes to leisure, the modern way of lifemay make us more productive, but it hasn’tactually changed the amount of time we spend working or having fun.(過渡詞用粗體標(biāo)出)

修改過后的這段話是不是比原來的更流暢，更有邏輯性了呢?

大家每次寫完作文之后，也要看一下是否可以再修改潤色一下。