1.稱贊對方
When you meet someone for the first time, pay thatperson a compliment when repeating their name, thus helping to anchor and embed it even deeperinto your memory.
你第一次見到某個人時,重復對方名字時稱贊對方,這有助于你記住對方的名字并加深這個記憶。
2. Ask lots of questions—good questions
2.多問問題——問好問題
How do you give your conversation partner thepleasure of a good conversation? Ask them questions—a lot of questions, and ones that callfor more than vague one-word answers. This may lay the groundwork for a true friendship.
你怎么能讓聊天對象有好的聊天體驗?問他們問題,問很多不是含糊的一個詞就能回答的問題,這會給你們真正的友誼打下基礎。
3. Make a game out of small talk
3.利用閑聊做游戲
Say something like, ‘Tell me three things about your company, and I’ll guess what company itis.’ Or, ‘What’s that you’re drinking? Wait—let me guess.’.”
你可以這樣說:“告訴我關于你們公司的三件事,我來猜猜這是什么公司,”或者“你在喝什么?等等,讓我猜猜”。
4. Try to make their day better
4.盡量讓他們高興
You can ask these questions: “On a scale of one to ten, how was your day?” Anyone can thinkof a number between one and ten. After they respond, ask them this: “Is there anything I cando to move you from a six to a seven?” You’d be surprised how happy this little gesture willmake someone.
你可以問這些問題:“1分到10分,你今天的心情打幾分?”每個人都能想出1-10的一個數(shù)字,他們回答之后,再問:“我能做點什么讓你從6分變成7分?”你會驚訝地發(fā)現(xiàn)這個小舉動會讓對方很開心。
5. Play the sympathy card
5.打同情牌
“I once went to a party and met a very beautiful woman whose job was to help celebrities wearHarry Winston jewelry. I could tell that she was disappointed, but when I told her that herjob sounded difficult to me she brightened and spoke for 30 straight minutes aboutsapphires,” Paul Ford wrote in his essay.
Paul Ford在隨筆中寫道:“我曾去參加一個聚會,遇到一個非常漂亮的女士,她的工作是幫名人戴海瑞·溫斯頓(珠寶品牌)的首飾,我能看出來她很失望,但當我告訴她她的工作對我來說很難時她就高興了,跟我連續(xù)聊了30分鐘藍寶石的話題。”
6. Seek their opinion
6.征求對方意見
If you ask someone for advice or a favor and they oblige you, they will be psychologicallyprimed to like you and help you again.
如果你征求某人的意見或求對方幫忙,他們會幫你的,他們會在心里開始喜歡你,還會再次幫你。
7. Pass the topic to someone else
7.把話題留給別人
Not everyone is going to be fascinated by that documentary you’re obsessed with. Let otherpeople contribute to the conversation. If they change the topic when given the chance, let itgo.
不是每個人都會被你喜歡的紀錄片吸引,讓別人也參與到對話中,如果給對方機會時對方轉移話題了,那你就不要管了。
8. Repetition is key
8.關鍵是要重復
Start by repeating the last thing the person said to sum up their point. That’s very effectivebecause you’re saying, ‘I’ve been listening to you.’
你可以開始重復對方說的最后一件事來總結對方的看法,這招很有效,因為你是在告訴對方:“我一直在聽你說話。”
9. Exit gracefully
9.優(yōu)雅地結束對話
If you’re at a party, excuse yourself to get a drink; if you’re at work, you can leave to get somecoffee. You can also say, ‘It’s nice talking to you, but I have to talk to someone before theyleave.”
如果你在參加聚會,可以找借口說去拿點喝的。如果是在工作,可以起身去喝點咖啡。你還可以說:“跟你聊天真開心,但我得趕在別人離開前跟他說幾句話。”