散文佳作108篇 第14期:哀互生 Mourning for Husheng

Mourning for Husheng

朱自清

Zhu Ziqing

三月里劉熏宇君來(lái)信，說(shuō)互生病了，而且是沒(méi)有希望的病，醫(yī)生說(shuō)只好等日子了。四月底在《時(shí)事新報(bào)》上見(jiàn)到立達(dá)學(xué)會(huì)的通告，想不到這么快互生就歿了!后來(lái)聽(tīng)說(shuō)他病中的光景，那實(shí)在太慘;為他想，早點(diǎn)去，少吃些苦頭，也未嘗不好的。但丟下立達(dá)這個(gè)學(xué)校，這班朋友，這班學(xué)生，他一定不甘心，不瞑目!

In March I heard from Mr. Liu Xunyu that Husheng was sick and hopelessly sick at that. Thedoctor said there was nothing he could do but to trait for the day to arrive. Toward the end ofApril, I came across an obituary issued by Lida Association in the newspaper Current Affairs.How quickly the day had arrived! Later, when I learned how he had suffered during his illness, Ithought it was too miserable. From his point of view, however, his passing away was not a badthing after all, because he suffered less by going earlier. But it must have been very hard forhim to close his eyes and resign himself to the fact that he was leaving his Lida School, hisfriends and his students behind.

互生最叫我們紀(jì)念的是他做人的態(tài)度。他本來(lái)是一副銅筋鐵骨，黑皮膚襯著那一套大布之衣，看去像個(gè)鄉(xiāng)下人。他什么苦都吃得，從不曉得享用，也像鄉(xiāng)下人。他心里那一團(tuán)火，也像鄉(xiāng)下人。那一團(tuán)火是熱，是力，是光。由他不愛(ài)多說(shuō)話(huà)，但常常微笑;那微笑是自然的，溫暖的。在他看，人是可以互相愛(ài)著的，除了一些成見(jiàn)已深，不愿打開(kāi)窗戶(hù)說(shuō)亮話(huà)。的。他對(duì)這些人卻有些憎惡，不肯假借一點(diǎn)顏色。世界上只有能憎的人才能愛(ài);愛(ài)憎沒(méi)有定見(jiàn)，只是毫無(wú)作為的腳色。公互生覺(jué)得青年成見(jiàn)還少，希望最多;所以愿意將自己的生命一滴不剩而獻(xiàn)給他們，讓愛(ài)的宗教在他們中間發(fā)榮滋長(zhǎng)，讓他們都走向新世界去?；ド缓冒l(fā)議論，只埋著頭干干干，是儒家的真正精神。我和他并沒(méi)有深談過(guò)，但從他的行事看來(lái)，相信我是認(rèn)識(shí)他的。

What wag most memorable about Husheng was his attitude toward life. He was as strong asa man of steel, his dark complexion set off by clothes of coarse cloth, looking like someonefrom the countryside. He could withstand any hardship and never sought ease and comfort.In this respect he was like a countryman, too. Again like a countryman, he had a heart as warnsas fire radiating warmth, power and light. He was a man of few words, but of all smiles. His smilewas natural and friendly. In his view, people could love each other, except those with deepprejudices and those who could not bring themselves out in the open. He hated these people,and to them he wouldn't show anything like gentleness. In this world, only those who couldhate could love. Those who did not know what to love and what to hate were useless people.Hussheng thought that young people had little prejudice but lots of future promise, so he waswilling to devote his life to them without reservation, letting the religion of love grow andflourish among them so that they could all go to a new world. Husheng was not fond of talkingtoo much, instead, he put his mind on work, and work, and nothing but work--an embodimentof the Confucian spirit. Though I never had a chance to talk with him very closely, I wasconvinced that I understood him from the way he carried himself and conducted matters.

互生辦事的專(zhuān)心，少有人及得他。他辦立達(dá)便飲食坐臥只惦著立達(dá)，再不想別的。立達(dá)好像他的情人，他的獨(dú)子。他性情本有些猖介，但為了立達(dá)，也常去看一班大人先生，更常去看那些有錢(qián)可借的老板之類(lèi)。他東補(bǔ)西湊地為立達(dá)籌款子，還要跑北京，跑南京。有一回他本可以留學(xué)去，但丟不下立達(dá)，到底沒(méi)有去。他將生命獻(xiàn)給立達(dá)，立達(dá)也便是他的生命。他辦立達(dá)這么多年，并沒(méi)有讓多少人知道他個(gè)人的名字，他早忘記了自己?，F(xiàn)在他那樣壯鍵的身子到底為立達(dá)犧牲了。他殉了自己的理想，是有意義的。只是這理想剛在萌芽;我們都該想想，立達(dá)怎樣才可不死呢?立達(dá)不死，互生其實(shí)也便不死了。

Few people 1 knew of were as devoted as Husheng. When he was running Lida School, all histhoughts were on the school, whatever he did. Lida was like his sweetheart, his only son. Hewas by nature an honest man, but for the sake of Lida, he had to go and see important people,bosses and others from whom he hoped to borrow money. To raise funds, he had to run manyplaces, even as far as Beijing and Nanjing. Once he could have gone to study abroad, but he didnot go in the end because he could not tear himself away from the school. He had sacrificed hislife for Lida and Iida had become his life too. Though he was head of the school for so manyyears, he never tried to make his name known to the public. He had forgotten about himselfaltogether. Now he had worked himself to death for Lida despite his robust constitution. Hehad died for his ideal-a meaningful death. His ideal was merely beginning to bud. Now weshould all think about one question: what must we do to keep Lida alive? If Lida is kept alive,Husheng lives on.