An executive coach identifies the causes of troublesome colleagues’ behavior, and how best to respond.
一位高管培訓(xùn)師研究出一些同事惹人心煩的行為動機(jī),并教給我們最佳應(yīng)對方法。
The Moles
鼴鼠型的同事
Who They Are: Mole colleagues hide when they feel insecure, allowing problems to become overwhelming. Reluctant and quick to embarrass, they are easily intimidated.
他們是何許人也:當(dāng)感覺不安全時,鼴鼠型的同事就會躲藏起來,任由事態(tài)惡化。他們膽小如鼠,面對問題時,他們總是陷入迅速尷尬的境地,不情愿處理。
How to Identify Them: Look for these socially inept types eating alone at the cafeteria, sitting in the back of the room at the training and sneaking away early at office parties. They may seem laid-back when passing on opportunities for promotions, but they would rather languish in one position than extend themselves to advance. They can appear easygoing when accepting blame for a missed deadline, but actually lack the courage to confront the true offender. Fearful of risk, failure and rejection, they will shun attention at any cost. The moment your project requires communicating with others, moles will flee from their responsibilities and disappear under the radar.
如何判斷誰是鼴鼠型的同事:那些不善社交的人。他們通常獨(dú)自一人在自助餐廳吃飯,培訓(xùn)時坐在教室后排,辦公室聚會時早早溜掉。他們看上去對身邊的晉升機(jī)會并不計較,但他們寧愿在一個工作崗位上頹廢消沉一輩子也不愿向上進(jìn)取。因錯過最后期限而被批評時,他們表現(xiàn)出很隨和的姿態(tài),但實(shí)際上他們?nèi)狈Ω矣诘米锶说挠職?。他們害怕風(fēng)險、失敗和被拒絕,因此會不惜一切代價把自己變成“透明人”。當(dāng)你需要和別人交流你的項(xiàng)目時,鼴鼠型的同事會逃避責(zé)任,使你聯(lián)系不上他。
What to Watch Out For: You might find the reclusive and pitiful nature of moles to elicit your compassion. But moles only know how to burrow down. Align yourself with them, and you will fall down the same career-isolation hole they dig for themselves.
要注意的問題:你可能會發(fā)現(xiàn)鼴鼠型的同事孤獨(dú)可憐的性格會引起你的同情。但是鼴鼠型的同事只知道如何挖洞藏身。與他們相處,你也會同他們一樣成為職場上的“社交孤島”。
How to Protect Yourself: Don’t waste time helping moles become less isolated. They don’t want to be noticed, and will convert anything you say into self-loathing. Count on them only for routine work that can be completed without drawing attention from senior management, especially for tasks which they volunteer to do.
如何保護(hù)自己:不要浪費(fèi)時間來幫助鼴鼠型的同事變得更合群。他們不想被關(guān)注,只會將你的話語轉(zhuǎn)化為自暴自棄的行為。只有那些高管并不關(guān)注的日常工作才能放心地交給他們完成,特別是那些他們自愿做的工作。
The Panhandlers
乞丐型的同事
Who They Are: Panhandler colleagues walk the line between performing at their job and hunting for constant recognition. They are time-stealing attention seekers desperate for continuous praise.
他們是何許人也:乞丐型的同事在自己的工作崗位上盡力表現(xiàn),只為了獲得他人長期的肯定。他們迫切渴望得到他人的關(guān)注和持續(xù)的贊美。
How to Identify Them: You’ll find these gregarious types carrying on loudly at happy hour. They are the sycophants tailgating anyone who will toss them morsels of attention.
如何判斷誰是乞丐型的同事:那些在興奮之際就提高嗓門油嘴滑舌的人。如果有人對他們表現(xiàn)出一點(diǎn)關(guān)注,他們馬上會對其溜須拍馬。
What to Watch Out For: At first, we are pleased when we meet panhandlers, because they are willing to go out of their way to do something for us, to demonstrate their loyalty. But their loyalty shifts like a leaf in the wind. As soon as panhandlers find a better source of affirmation, they will kick you to the curb, even in the middle of an important deadline.
要注意的問題:起初,我們在遇到乞丐型的同事時是很高興的,因?yàn)樗麄儠晦o辛勞地為我們做一些事,以此證明他們的忠誠。但是他們的忠誠就像隨風(fēng)搖擺的樹葉。一旦找到對他們更加肯定的人,即使在一個重要的項(xiàng)目只進(jìn)行到一半時,他們也會把你扔到一邊。
How to Protect Yourself: Realize that panhandlers focus on praise the way addicts focus on drugs. To keep them on task, refrain from giving them praise until the very end of an assignment or project. The moment you start doling out the compliments is the moment you’ll lose their attention.
如何保護(hù)自己:要意識到乞丐型的同事對贊美的著迷程度不亞于吸毒者對毒品的著迷程度。為使他們完成任務(wù),在任務(wù)或項(xiàng)目馬上結(jié)束之前不要贊美他們。你對他們的贊美之時正是他們對工作分心之時。
The Headliners
以自我為中心型的同事
Who They Are: Headliner colleagues have egos that are guaranteed to aggravate. They are arrogant status seekers convinced that everyone envies them.
他們是何許人也:以自我為中心型同事總是自我感覺良好。他們是驕傲自大的求職者,覺得別人都在嫉妒他們。
How to Identify Them: The headliners are always interrupting at meetings and hijacking conversations. They are defensive when receiving feedback, and only interested in conversations highlighting them.
如何判斷誰是以自我為中心型的同事:以自我為中心型的同事總是隨意打斷別人的會議和談話。他們在收到別人對自己的反饋時,總是存有戒心,只對那些以他們?yōu)橹行牡膶υ捀信d趣。
What to Watch Out For: Headliners don’t choose friends. They target people to exploit, people they believe can elevate their status. They are manipulators only interested in how you can service their ambition. Headliners will step on anyone to get ahead.
要注意的問題:以自我為中心的人不會真心實(shí)意地交朋友。他們會選擇那些有可利用價值的,能夠幫他們提升地位的人。他們只對你能為實(shí)現(xiàn)他的野心付出多少感興趣。以自我為中心的人會踩著別人往上爬。
How to Protect Yourself: Manage your relationship with the headliner by saying no to most requests that are outside of your job description, and require that your generosity be reciprocated before you help with their next ‘favor.’ Once they realize that they cannot use you to get ahead, they will concentrate on distinguishing themselves technically, so they can boast about their contributions to the project.
如何保護(hù)自己:處理好你和以自我為中心型的同事的關(guān)系,對你工作之外的大部分要求,要勇于和他說不,在你下一次幫助他之前,要確保你的付出能夠得到回報。一旦他們意識到他們不能利用你晉升,他們就想法設(shè)法表現(xiàn)出自己的技能卓越,盡量把對項(xiàng)目的貢獻(xiàn)都?xì)w功于自己。
The Directors
主管型的同事
Who They Are: Director colleagues are obsessed with control. They cannot handle uncertainty, and they want to design the outcome of everything.
他們是何許人也:主管型的同事有強(qiáng)烈的控制欲。他們無法處理不確定的情況,他們想要控制每件事的結(jié)果。
How to Identify Them: Directors are more interested in being right than in doing the right thing. They cannot tolerate anyone disagreeing with them, which means they’re constantly alienating people. They are also the most unlikely co-workers to ever say, “Thank you.”
如何判斷誰是主管型的同事:比起做正確的事情,主管型的同事更愿意表現(xiàn)為他們的主意都是正確的。他們無法忍受別人不同意他們的觀點(diǎn),那意味著他們不斷地被疏遠(yuǎn)。他們也是最不可能對你說“謝謝”的同事。
What to Watch Out For: Heads up! Directors become loose cannons when they lose control. They will rant, insult and intimidate to keep and regain control, even if it means being disliked and feared by their colleagues.
要注意的是:當(dāng)心!當(dāng)主管型的同事失去控制權(quán)時,他們會變得我行我素。他們會咆哮,侮辱、恐嚇同事以重新奪回控制權(quán),即使這會嚇到同事,被同事討厭,他們也毫不在乎。
How to Protect Yourself: With directors, don’t yield until you’ve reasoned to a middle ground. Be clear about what plans are non-negotiable and be mindful of their verbal drive-bys—and also always wear your psychic Kevlar.
如何保護(hù)自己:對付主管型的同事,除非你自己站定中間立場,否則不要退讓。清楚了解哪些項(xiàng)目是不用協(xié)商的,留心他們那些不文明的話語——給自己的內(nèi)心穿好保護(hù)套。
The Conflict Junkies
戰(zhàn)斗狂型的同事
Who They Are: Conflict junkies are a combination of all the other types described, grafted into the most toxic and hostile contagion to ever poison the workplace. If Ebola was a personality type, it would be a conflict junkie.
他們是何許人也:戰(zhàn)斗狂型的同事是所有這些類型的結(jié)合體,把他們對別人的敵對心理傳染到整個工作場所。如果埃博拉病毒(Ebola)是一種性格類型,那就是這種戰(zhàn)斗狂型的性格了。
How to Identify Them: They are the pathological bullies who harass even the most well-intentioned staff; the combative co-workers everyone has a horror story about; the rebellious employees so caustic, they send their superiors into septic shock. They are completely resistant to civility.
如何判斷誰是戰(zhàn)斗狂型的同事:他們是心理變態(tài)的暴徒,甚至?xí)}擾那些出于好意的員工;每個人都有一個關(guān)乎于這些“殺氣騰騰”同事的可怕故事;這種叛逆的員工就像害蟲一樣會把這種不良性格傳染給他們上級。他們對文明采取絕對抵制的態(tài)度。
What to Watch Out For: Like moles, conflict junkies may initially appear submissive, but this is a ploy that lasts only until they have adjusted to a new situation. Like pretenders, once acclimated, they become agents of disruption. CJ’s go beyond the tactics used by directors to gain control, pitting colleagues against one another, sabotaging projects, undermining their superiors, withholding information to create conflict and misrepresenting situations to HR. Like panhandlers and headliners, they will go out of their way to feed their egos. The difference? They act with no concern for consequence, even when it threatens their own careers.
要注意的是:像鼴鼠型的同事一樣,戰(zhàn)斗狂型的同事起初表現(xiàn)得很順從,但這是他們適應(yīng)環(huán)境前的一個策略。像騙子型的同事一樣,一旦適應(yīng)了新環(huán)境,他們就開始搞破壞。為獲得控制權(quán),戰(zhàn)斗狂型的同事所用的策略比主管型的同事還多,讓同事們互相攻擊,使用陰謀詭計破壞項(xiàng)目,陷害他們的上級,隱瞞信息使人力資源深陷沖突誤解的泥潭。像乞丐型和以自我為中心型的同事一樣,他們會使用各種手段來滿足自己的野心。他們有什么不同嗎?戰(zhàn)斗狂型同事做事不顧后果,即使危害到他們的職業(yè)生涯也毫不在乎。
How to Protect Yourself: Handling conflict junkies is more than a one-person job. Take advantage of your organization’s policies, regulations and stated values. Leverage all penalties available, even those that require legal action, if needed. Report their conduct to HR, and encourage others to do the same so that you can build a case for their termination. If they cannot conduct themselves rationally and respectfully, you should refuse to assist, comply with, respond to or even acknowledge them. If all else fails, consider asking to be reassigned or taking a new job.
如何保護(hù)自己:對付戰(zhàn)斗狂僅靠一己之力是不夠的。好好利用組織上的政策,規(guī)則和所倡導(dǎo)的價值觀。必要的情況下,即使需要合法行動,也要采取所有能處罰他們的手段。把他們的行為報告給人力資源,倡導(dǎo)別人也這樣做,這樣你就能建立他的一個案底從而扳倒他。如果他們不講道理,不尊重人,那你就不要幫助他們,不要遵從他們,不理他們甚至就當(dāng)不認(rèn)識他們。如果這些都不行,那就考慮去別的部門,或者找一份新工作。
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