內(nèi)向者的力量（雙語）
如今，我們接受的性格類型極其有限。我們被告知，要出眾就得有膽識，要快樂就得擅交際。我們自認(rèn)是個由性格外向者組成的國家——這意味著我們忽視了真實(shí)的自我。三分之一到一半的美國人性格內(nèi)向——換言之，你認(rèn)識的每兩到三個人中就有一個內(nèi)向者。如果你本人不內(nèi)向，那你的子女、同事、配偶或伴侶中肯定有一個是內(nèi)向的。
If these statistics surprise you, that's probably because so many people pretend to be extroverts.Closet introverts pass undetected on playgrounds, in high school locker rooms, and in the corridors of corporate America.Some fool even themselves, until some life event——a layoff, an empty nest, an inheritance that frees them to spend time as they like——jolts them into taking stock of their true natures. You have only to raise this subject with your friends and acquaintances to find that the most unlikely people consider themselves introverts.
如果這些數(shù)據(jù)讓你驚訝，或許是因?yàn)樘嗟娜思傺b外向。在操場上、中學(xué)衣物間里以及美國公司的走廊上，隱蔽的內(nèi)向者不被人所察覺。有些人甚至欺騙了自己，直到某些生活事件——失業(yè)、廝守“空巢”、繼承一筆能夠讓他們隨意支配時間的遺產(chǎn)——讓他們驚醒，開始審視自己真實(shí)的一面。只要與朋友和熟人討論這個主題，你就會發(fā)現(xiàn)最不可能是內(nèi)向的人認(rèn)為自己是內(nèi)向者。
It makes sense that so many introverts hide even from themsevles. We live with a value system that I call the Extrovert Ideal—— the omnipresent belief tht the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight. The archetypal extrovert prefers action to contemplation, risk-taking to heed-taking, certainty to doubt. He favors quick decisions, even at the risk of being wrong. She works well in teams and socializes in groups.We like to think that we value individuality, but all too often we admire one type of individual—— the kind who's comfortable "putting himself out there." Sure,we allow technologically gifted loners who launch companies in garages to have any personality they please, but they are the exceptions, not the rule, and our tolerance extends mainly to those wo get fabulously wealthy or hold the promise of doing so.
如此多的內(nèi)向者甚至對自己隱藏真實(shí)的性格是有原因的。我們生活在一個我稱之為“外向理想型性格”的價值體系中，即人們普遍認(rèn)為，理想的性格特點(diǎn)是善于交際，有領(lǐng)袖氣質(zhì)，在眾人矚目的場合收放自如。典型的外向者喜歡行動，而不愿思考，喜歡冒險，而不愿小心謹(jǐn)慎，喜歡肯定，而不愿質(zhì)疑。他們希望在短時間內(nèi)作出決定，哪怕冒犯錯的風(fēng)險。他們在團(tuán)隊(duì)中善于合作和交際。我們往往認(rèn)為我們尊重個性，但我們常常只欣賞一種類型的人——能夠輕松自如地“表現(xiàn)自我”的人。誠然，我們允許在車庫中創(chuàng)辦公司的不合群的技術(shù)天才擁有他們喜歡的任何性格，但他們只是特例，而不是普遍現(xiàn)象，在大多數(shù)情況下，我們只對富甲一方或有可能腰纏萬貫的人表現(xiàn)出容忍。
Introversion——along with its cousions sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness——is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology.Introverts living under the Extrovert Idal are like women in a a man's world,discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are. Extorversion is an enormously appealing personality style, but we've turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform.
內(nèi)向——及其同義詞敏感、嚴(yán)肅和害羞——現(xiàn)在已成為二等性格，介于令人掃興的特點(diǎn)與病態(tài)之間。在“外向理想型性格”價值體系下生活的內(nèi)向者與生活在男性世界中的女性一樣，他們因?yàn)樾愿裰械囊环N核心特點(diǎn)而受到低估。外向是一種非常吸引人的性格類型，但我們已把它變成一種嚴(yán)苛的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，我們中的大多數(shù)人都認(rèn)為必須遵守這個標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。
The Extrovert Idal has been documented in many studies, though this research has never been grouped under a single name.Talkative people, for example, are rated as smarteer, better-looking, more interesting, and more desirable as friends. Velocity of speech counts as well as volume: we rank fast talkers as more competent and likable than slow ones. Even the word introvet is stigmatized——one informal study,by psychologist Laurie Helgoe, found that introverts described their own physical appearance in vivid language, but when asked to describe generic introverts they drew a bland and distasteful picture.
“外向理想型性格”在許多研究文獻(xiàn)中都有論述，但這方面的研究從未被歸在統(tǒng)一的名稱之下。例如，健談的人被認(rèn)為更聰明，外表更出眾，更風(fēng)趣，而且更適合做朋友。說話的語速和音量同樣重要：我們認(rèn)為語速快的人比語速慢的人能力更強(qiáng)，更具親和力。就連內(nèi)向這個詞也被賦予了貶義——心理學(xué)家勞力·海爾戈開展的一項(xiàng)非正式研究顯示，內(nèi)向者可以用生動的語言描述自己的外表，但在被要求概括對內(nèi)向者整體的看法時，他們卻做出了平淡無味、令人反感的描述。
But we make a grave mistake to embrace the Extrovert Idal so unthinkingly. Some of our greatest ideas, art, and inventions——from the theory of evolution to van Gogh's sunflowers to the personal computer——came from quiet and cerebral people who knew how to tune in to their inner worlds and the treasures to be found there.
然而，我們不假思索地接受“外向理想型性格”，其實(shí)是犯了一個嚴(yán)重的錯誤。我們一些最偉大的思想、藝術(shù)作品和發(fā)明——從進(jìn)化論到凡.高的向日葵再到個人電腦——都來自于沉靜和理智的人，他們知道如何傾聽自己的內(nèi)心世界，并從中挖掘?qū)毑亍?/p>
