欲望都市第二季 怪人秀 The Freak Show

[00:00.00] 12.08.02 08:26:05 [00:02.00]聽美劇學(xué)英語(MP3+LRC) [00:10.28]欲望城市 [00:38.32](性愛專家凱莉布雷蕭) [00:44.68]，怪人秀 [00:49.52]Manhattan, for mllllons of our forefathers, the gateway to hope... 曼哈頓，對我們的前人而言 [00:53.80]...opportunlty and happlness beyond thelr wlldest dreams. 是通往希望與幸福的入口 [00:58.92]Today, that hope ls stlll allve. It's called The Flrst Date. 今日，那個希望仍然存在 那就是第一次約會 [01:03.04]On Saturday nlghts, every restaurant ln Lower Manhattan... 周六夜晚，每一家餐廳 都像座小型的埃利斯島 [01:04.76]...resembles lts own llttle Ellls Island. [01:09.20]Hordes of slngle women crowded lnto a hot, cramped space... 成群的單身女子聚集 [01:12.60]...hoplng to make lt to thelr flnal destlnatlon.: the state of matrlmony. 希望能實現(xiàn)她們 最終的目標(biāo)：步入禮堂 [01:14.16]Or at least to get a hot meal ln translt. 或是至少好好飽餐一頓 [01:19.68]Samantha dldn't belleve ln The Flrst Date. But she dld belleve ln sex after lt. 莎曼珊不相信第一次約會 她只相信隨之而來的性 [01:27.20]I think you missed a drop. 你掉了一滴 [01:30.08]Harrlson was a very successful lltlgator... 哈里森是個成功的訴訟律師 和朗柏爾曼洗過蒸汽浴 [01:33.80]...who took steam baths wlth Ron Perlman... [01:33.76]...and owned an apartment on the 39th floor of Museum Tower. 住在高級大廈的三十九樓 [01:38.24]An excellent flrst-date pedlgree. 第一次約會的絕佳人選 [01:40.76]After dlnner, Harrlson lnvlted Samantha up to see hls vlew. 晚餐后，哈里森邀請莎曼珊 到家中看夜景 [01:46.28]I think you shouId know my speciaIty is sexuaI harassment. -我的專長是性騷擾 -真的嗎?我也是 [01:49.00]ReaIIy. So is mine. [01:54.76]This is a cIassic case: a cIassic case of entrapment. 這是一樁典型的案例 一樁典型引誘的案例 [01:60.20]BeautifuI woman, mind-aItering wine.... I couId cIaim temporary insanity. 美麗的女人 讓人意亂神迷的酒… [02:04.12]-我可以聲稱是一時意亂 -我曾讓男人神魂顛倒 [02:06.16]I do have a prior record of driving men a IittIe crazy. [02:10.08]You fit the profiIe. 你正是典型的案例 性騷擾者通常是年紀(jì)大的女人 [02:12.16]Most sexuaI harassment cases are brought by oIder women. [02:21.60]-I'm sorry? -No offense, but what are you: 40, 41? -你說什么? -絕無冒犯之意 [02:22.68]不過，你幾歲了? 四十?四十一? [02:24.84]Samantha had celebrated her 35th blrthday... 自我們有印象以來 莎曼珊一直是三十五歲 [02:27.76]...for as long as we could remember. [02:31.24]-I'm just gonna freshen up. -I think you're pretty fresh aIready. -我去梳洗一下 -你一點都不需要 [02:52.72]Hey, sexy, I'm over here. 性感寶貝，我在這里 [03:01.92]There, next to hls Brooks Brothers sults... 就在他的衣柜旁邊 [03:03.32]...was the world's smallest cedar-llned den of lnequlty. 有著世界上最迷你的變態(tài)屋 [03:07.32]SIap me. -掌摑我 -你開玩笑的吧 [03:09.48]-You've got to be kidding. -C'mon. [03:11.88]來吧，用力地掌摑我 [03:14.96]SIap me hard. 很顯然的，那場景令人不悅 [03:15.24]Apparently the vlew left a llttle to be deslred. [03:25.60]The next nlght, Samantha lnvlted us to a party she was throwlng... 隔晚，莎曼珊約我們參加派對 [03:26.40]...for the new coffee-table book du jour. 在一家不接受訂位的新餐廳 [03:31.88]The book was awful, but the hors d'oeuvres were fabulous. 那里的開胃菜真的是太棒了 [03:35.96]Give him credit. Takes a Iot of work to get rigged up Iike that. 要這么狼狽還真不簡單 [03:37.32]Most of my first dates don't even open the cab door. 我的約會對象甚至 不幫我開計程車門 [03:42.12]-What if he's stiII there? -The super'd find him eventuaIIy. -要是他還關(guān)在里面呢? -管理員會找到他的 [03:45.92]You see, this is why I don't date. The men out there are freaks. -所有的男人都是怪人 -這樣說不公平 [03:46.100]That's compIeteIy unfair. [03:50.04]If a man is over 30 and singIe, there's something wrong with him. 要是男人超過三十歲還是單身 那他一定有問題 [03:51.12]It's Darwinian. They're being weeded out from propagating the species. 他們在進化過程中被淘汰 [03:56.12]-What about us? -We're just choosey. -那我們怎么說? -我們只是太挑剔了 [03:60.28]I'm getting more shrimp. 我要多一點蝦子 [04:04.08]You know what the worst part of the date was? 最糟糕的是 他以為我四十歲了 [04:07.48]Harrison actuaIIy thought I was 40. [04:10.76]-ReaIIy? -ReaIIy. -真的? -真的，我看起來有四十嗎? [04:11.44]Do you think I Iook 40? [04:14.60]If Samantha's past four blrthdays taught me anythlng... 莎曼珊過去四年的生日 告訴我們一件事 [04:16.68]...lt was that there ls only one answer to thls questlon. 這個問題只有一個答案 [04:19.40]You don't Iook a day over 35. 你看起來不超過三十五 [04:24.28]This is a great party. I just met the most amazing guy, MitcheII SayIor. 這個派對真不錯，我遇見一個 很棒的人，米契賽勒 [04:29.40]When Charlotte really llked a guy, she sald hls whole name. 當(dāng)夏綠蒂喜歡一個人的時候 她會說他的全名 [04:32.00]It helped her to lmaglne thelr future monogrammed towels. 這有助于她幻想他們的未來 [04:34.60]Mitch SayIor? -米契賽勒? -你認(rèn)識他? [04:37.08]-Yeah, do you know him? -Honey, I know of him. 我很了解他 [04:40.48]What is that supposed to mean? 什么意思? [04:42.24]Ladies, I suggest you join me in the bathroom. 姐妹們，請跟我到洗手間 [04:47.92]-He's Mr. Pussy. -Mr. who? -他是小妹妹先生 -什么先生? [04:47.08]Suddenly, Charlotte's towels were looklng very dlfferent. 突然間夏綠蒂的未來蒙上陰影 [04:50.72]He's renowned, he Ioves going down on women. -他喜歡替女人口交 -他看起來不像那種人 [04:55.00]-He's so cute to be so nasty. -That's disgusting! [04:57.64]-I toId you there'd be something. -He's a Iegend. 好惡心 [04:58.84]-我就說一定有什么不對勁 -他獨鐘舔小妹妹這件事 [04:58.64]He's just amazing at eating pussy. [05:00.12]-WouId you pIease stop caIIing it that? -Fine. Going down, giving head. -不要再那樣說了 -好吧，口交，舔蜜桃 [05:05.80]-Eating out? -ShouIdn't it be eating in? -吸出來? -應(yīng)該是舔進去吧? [05:07.20]Stop it! -住口… -你不排斥吧? [05:10.00]-You do do that, right? -Of course! 當(dāng)然，但是我不喜歡談?wù)? [05:14.64]I don't have to taIk about it. [05:15.28]Reallty was, the only thlng that went down wlth regularlty on Charlotte's dates... 夏綠蒂約會的對象 有一個共通點 [05:20.52]...was a Gold Amerlcan Express card. 他們都有美國運通金卡 [05:22.24]Forget it. I'm not dating anyone who is known as Mr. Pussy. 我才不跟被稱作 小妹妹先生的人約會 [05:26.96]-Why not? -Maybe I want more than that. -為什么不? -我想要的不只那些 [05:29.56]Sweetie, if a man is good at that, there is nothing more. 一個男人在這方面很行 你就別無所求了 [05:30.48]Amen. 你一定是在說米契賽勒 他真的很棒 [05:31.24]You have to be taIking about Mitch SayIor. He's unbeIievabIe. [05:36.92]I dated him for a month. 我跟他約會了一個月 [05:39.48]He was so good, I actuaIIy passed out when I came. 他讓我高潮來時差點昏厥過去 [05:45.48]Enjoy. 好好享受吧 [05:48.24]The guy's got good word of mouth. 大家都對他贊不絕“口” [05:54.64]My God, right over there. That's him. [06:10.52]Unllke Mlranda, I wasn't ready to accept that all slngle men were freaks. 我不同意米蘭達(dá)的說法 單身男子不一定是怪人 [06:15.76]I was so optlmlstlc, I had actually agreed to go on my flrst bllnd date ln two years. 我近乎絕望 我考慮兩年后接受相親安排 [06:22.44]P.J. was a very successful lndependent-movle producer. 皮杰是個成功的獨立制片 [06:26.64]Hls documentary on endangered seagulls had just alred to excellent revlews on PBS. 他拍攝瀕臨絕種海鷗的 紀(jì)錄片廣受好評 [06:30.72]So, documentary fiIms. That must be fun. 紀(jì)錄片，一定很有趣 [06:34.60]Let's be reaIistic. I'm onIy doing this docu buIIshit to earn a rep. 我拍紀(jì)錄片的目的 只是為了贏得一點名氣 [06:37.68]UItimateIy, I want to parIay into the action-movie arena to make money. 我的最終目的是賺錢 [06:40.64]I'm not afraid to say it. I Iove money. 我愛錢，要是賣馬桶能致富 我也會賣 [06:43.20]I'd seII toiIet bowIs if it'd make me a miIIionaire. [06:47.60]-What about the seaguIIs? -Fuck the seaguIIs. -那些海鷗怎么辦? -去他的海鷗 [06:51.48]Step rlght up, folks. 各位看倌 兩杯伏特加就能讓人見識到… [06:51.36]Two vodkas and a $12 pasta buys your admlsslon to see... [06:55.28]...The Man Wlth No Soul. 沒有靈魂的男人 [06:60.04]Observe lf you dare, thls chllllng slght. Bachelor Number Two seemed promlslng. 看過這些令人心寒的例子 單身漢二號似乎很有希望 [07:05.48]Just so you know, I can't see a movie without popcorn. 我看電影不能沒有爆米花 [07:08.56]I'm a Junior Mints kind of guy. This reIationship is probabIy doomed. 我個人偏好薄荷糖 這段關(guān)系似乎被下了詛咒 [07:17.92]You want to Iean a IittIe cIoser? Maybe hear our entire conversation? 想再更靠近一點嗎? 偷聽我們所有談話? [07:19.52]Why don't you and your fucking girIfriend just sit on our Iaps at the movie? 你跟你女朋友不如 坐在我們腿上看電影 [07:25.36]Then you won't miss a fucking word, dick! 這樣就可以一字不漏聽個夠 [07:32.72]Ladles and gentlemen, stand far away from.... 各位先生女士，請不要接近… [07:36.68]The Man Wlth Two Faces. 雙面人 [07:40.76]They say the thlrd tlme's the charm. 有人說第三次的約會最甜美 [07:41.88]Max was a broker who made $2 mllllon on bonds last year. 麥斯買賣債券賺了兩百萬 [07:45.56]We had a great dlnner ln Llttle Italy. 我們在小意大利 享用了完美的晚餐 [07:51.44]Not only dld Max have $2 mllllon... 麥斯不只擁有兩百萬 [07:53.88]...he also appeared to have a lendlng llbrary ln hls pants. 他的褲袋里顯然有一座 借來的圖書館 [07:57.36]Parents, please keep the klddles away from the cage of... 各位家長 請讓你們的小孩遠(yuǎn)離… [07:59.08]...The Man Who Steals Cheap Used Books for No Reason. 無故偷竊廉價二手書的人 [08:03.24]Okay, now I was afraid. 現(xiàn)在我開始害怕了 [08:07.04]Apparently the men ln the datlng world had devolved slnce the last tlme I vlslted. 可以約會的男人似乎已經(jīng)退化 [08:10.48]Maybe Mlranda was rlght. 或許怪人秀應(yīng)該要被合法化 [08:14.16]They never should've outlawed freak shows... [08:14.08]...because at least then the freaks were rounded up ln one place. 至少以前怪人集中在一處 現(xiàn)在他們四處游蕩 [08:18.44]Now they're out there among us, roamlng free. Is lt true? [08:23.32]真的是這樣嗎? 男人全都是怪人? [08:25.60]Are all men freaks? [08:28.08]Apparently Charlotte's week went a llttle better than mlne. 夏綠蒂的一周比我的好一些 [08:33.64]On Monday nlght, she was flnally ready to let Mltch under her sheets... 周一夜晚，她終于準(zhǔn)備好 讓米契鉆進她的被窩 [08:40.92]...way under. 從下面 [08:51.68]Sorry. It tickIes. -抱歉，我會癢 -沒關(guān)系，放輕松… [08:55.16]Just reIax. [08:55.00]ReIax. [09:01.60]That nlght Charlotte came harder than she ever had before. 那一晚 夏綠蒂的高潮來得比以前激烈 [09:10.72]That ls, untll Tuesday. 直到星期四… [09:14.32]-Yes! -Wednesday. 星期三… [09:18.40]Thursday. 星期二… [09:23.24]-Frlday. -God! -星期五… -我的天… [09:26.84]Frlday. -星期五… -天…我的天… [09:28.56]God! -星期五 -天…我的天… [09:28.04]Frlday. [09:35.72]That nlght, Charlotte saw God seven tlmes. 那一晚，夏綠蒂見了上帝七次 [09:36.96]For a lapsed Eplscopallan, lt was a very Good Frlday. 對于一個圣公會成員而言 那是個很棒的星期五晚上 [09:42.64]If Mltch was a freak, Charlotte was ready to run away and joln the clrcus. 如果米契是怪人 夏綠蒂已經(jīng)決定投奔到馬戲團 [09:55.88]Meanwhlle, all I wanted to do was run away. 在此同時，我只想要逃走 [10:19.24]Rough night? 難熬的一晚? [10:20.80]Bad date. -糟糕的約會 -我也有過 [10:22.32]Been there. [10:27.96]He was a kIeptomaniac. 他有竊盜癖 [10:31.56]Last month, I went out with a woman who sIept with her shoes on. 上個月我跟一個 穿鞋睡覺的女人約會 [10:37.24]Hi, Carrie. 凱莉 [10:41.92]Ben. 班恩 [10:42.88]I was lnstantly attracted. 我馬上就被吸引了 [10:44.88]But I was pretty sure I could feel webs between hls flngers. 但我可以感覺到 他指間的蜘蛛網(wǎng) [10:51.52]So when did you guys aII become freaks? -男人何時全成了怪人? -我們? [10:54.20]Us? [10:57.80]No. The Shoe Woman seemed totaIIy normaI. 穿鞋睡覺的女人看起來正常 但我馬上發(fā)現(xiàn)她是怪人 [10:58.80]Then a month in, I discover she's a freak. They hide it reaIIy weII. [11:01.40]她們都隱藏得很好 所以我不再約會了 [11:03.48]That's why I don't date anymore. Women are bizarre. [11:06.44]-女人很奇怪 -謝謝 [11:09.24]-Thank you. -Sometimes in a good way. 奇怪不一定不好 [11:16.28]I once saw the worId's fattest twins at a state fair. They were both married. 我曾在一個博覽會 看過世上最胖的雙胞胎 [11:21.96]他們的老婆卻骨瘦如柴 [11:23.12]-Their wives were very skinny. -Maybe it was an opticaI iIIusion. [11:27.64]-或許那是錯覺 -或許吧 [11:31.92]Maybe. [11:40.64]-WouId you have dinner with me? -I thought you didn't date. 能跟我吃頓飯嗎? [11:44.72]-I don't. It wouId be a non-date. -A non-date. -你不是不約會 -這是個“非約會” [11:44.40]“非約會”? [11:51.36]Maybe. 或許吧 [11:54.24]-Is that a yes? -Let's caII it a non-no. -這是答應(yīng)了嗎? -這是“不是不答應(yīng)” [11:60.00]And lt was then that the most freaky thlng happened. 于是，最奇怪的事發(fā)生了 [12:03.92]There ln the mlddle of Manhattan... 就在曼哈頓中心 [12:03.60]...two complete strangers gave out thelr unllsted phone numbers. 兩名陌生人交換了 最私人的電話號碼 [12:08.08]Meanwhlle, Samantha was about to have her own chance encounter. 莎曼珊正要遭逢 意想不到的偶遇 [12:14.64]-Samantha? -Monica. -莎曼珊? -莫妮卡 [12:17.24]-Look at you. You Iook amazing. -Don't I? It's the work. 看看你，氣色真好 [12:21.92]可不是，我把臀部的脂肪 注射到臉上 [12:22.40]I had the fat from my ass injected into my face. Look, Iike a baby's bottom. [12:26.56]-看，就像嬰兒的屁股 -真不可思議 [12:28.48]-UnbeIievabIe. -Isn't it? Fat from my own ass. 可不是嗎?我臀部的脂肪 [12:34.64]The best part is, you get to eat Iike a pig before, fatten up your ass... 最好的是你可以 大吃大喝養(yǎng)肥屁股 [12:37.48]...and then a week Iater it's in your face. 一個星期后就跑到你臉上了 [12:41.20]Gotta go, bye. 得走了 [12:44.16]An hour later, Samantha had her flrst Blg Mac... 一個小時后 莎曼珊吃了久違的麥香堡 [12:47.04]...and an appolntment wlth the most expenslve plastlc surgeon on Upper Flfth. 并和最昂貴的外科醫(yī)師有約 [12:52.72]Meanwhlle, I had my own ass to be obsessed wlth and lt belonged to Ben... 也有一個臀部深深吸引著我 那就是班恩的 [12:54.40]...an edltor at a hlp polltlcal magazlne, who made me laugh. 他是嬉皮政治雜志的編輯 很會逗我笑 [12:59.56]This is me. -那是我 -這代表著該說晚安了 [13:03.24]Then I guess this is goodnight. [13:05.20]NormaIIy I'd try to get upstairs, but since this is a non-date.... 通常我會試圖上樓，但既然… [13:09.28]這是一個“非約會”… [13:13.48]So no kiss. 所以不能親吻? [13:16.08]或許可以有“非親吻” [13:19.44]Maybe a non-kiss. [13:32.40]There was nothlng ''non'' about lt. 這當(dāng)中沒有“不”的成分在 [13:37.84]A week and three non-dates later... 一個禮拜后 莎曼珊做出驚人的宣言 [13:38.32]...Samantha summoned us to make an announcement. [13:42.04]You've got to be kidding. 你沒有開玩笑 [13:42.20]It's sitting in a fat repository in Queens as we speak. 它還躺在皇后區(qū)的脂肪儲藏庫 [13:48.96]And in three days, it wiII be in my face and I wiII Iook fabuIous. 三天后就會到我臉上 我將會美得不得了 [13:52.56]I can't beIieve it. 我們每天想盡辦法 掩飾臀部的脂肪 [13:51.76]We keep hiding the fat in our ass and you're putting it right on your face? [13:53.12]你卻要將它放在臉上 [13:55.92]I just have to wear this girdIe for a week to keep my skin tight. 我得穿束褲一個禮拜 [14:02.88]Look at that. 你看 [14:05.84]That's a girdIe with a hoIe. 上面有一個洞 [14:07.96]Of course it has a hoIe. It's for peeing, etcetera. 當(dāng)然要有洞 用來尿尿…之類的 [14:11.44]Etcetera? 我昨天跟卡文克萊的 模特兒睡覺 [14:12.44]Last night I sIept with a CaIvin KIein modeI. I've never feIt sexier. [14:16.88]-I think the fat's aIready gone to your head. -CouId you put your skirt down? -脂肪已經(jīng)跑進你的腦袋 -把裙子放下 [14:22.68]-Whatever happened to aging gracefuIIy? -It got oId. 難道不能優(yōu)雅地變老? [14:24.48]I got to go. I'm meeting Mitch at my apartment. -舊觀念了 -我得走了，我要跟米契見面 [14:29.04]-So how is he? -He is amazing. 他還好嗎? [14:30.04]他太棒了，我們可能有未來 [14:32.60]He makes me happy. I think we have a chance at a future together. [14:34.08]-You and Mr. Pussy. -His name is MitcheII. -你跟小妹妹先生? -他的名字是米契 [14:38.20]Hang on, honey. You don't faII in Iove with Mr. Pussy. 你不能愛上小妹妹先生 [14:39.04]You enjoy him and then set him free. 享受過后就放他自由 [14:44.52]To Samantha, Charlotte had commltted the ultlmate sln. 對莎曼珊而言 夏綠蒂犯下一個終極的錯誤 [14:47.92]She was Bogartlng Mr. Pussy. 她把小妹妹先生英雄化 [14:49.40]He's a freak! Aside from technique, what do you know about him? 他是個怪人 你對他了解多少? [14:50.20]-Do you taIk? -Do you even fuck? -你們聊天嗎? -或是做愛? [14:52.60]-Stop it. -Sweetie, Miranda has a point. -不要說了 -米蘭達(dá)說得有理 [14:55.04]Have you guys had dinner together? Have you seen a pIay, anything? 你們吃過晚餐嗎? 去看過表演? [14:59.56]No, but we couId. 沒有…我們可以 [15:02.04]You know what? You've faIIen into the sex haze. 你被性愛迷惑了 [15:05.64]Where the sex is reaIIy great and you start acting Iike a crazy person. 因為太美好了 你開始變得不正常 [15:08.68]You imagine the reIationship is something it's not. 以為這是一段關(guān)系，事實不然 [15:13.48]CharIotte's not having a reIationship, she's having muItipIe orgasms. 夏綠蒂有的是數(shù)不清的高潮 而不是一段關(guān)系 [15:17.84]He makes me happy. 他讓我快樂 [15:21.80]Hoplng to prove Mlranda wrong... 為了證明米蘭達(dá)說錯了 [15:22.84]...I had convlnced her to come out on a double non-date... 我邀她和班恩的朋友路克 來一次雙對約會 [15:25.60]...wlth Ben's frlend, Luke. 事情進行得非常順利 [15:25.76]Thlngs were actually golng remarkably well. [15:28.68]-Favorite ice cream? -Strawberry. -最愛的冰淇淋口味? -草莓 [15:30.76]-I see, you're boring. -I Iike to see it as traditionaI. -我知道了，你很無趣 -我覺得這是傳統(tǒng) [15:36.96]TraditionaI? TraditionaI can be good. 傳統(tǒng)可以是好的 [15:36.00]Nothlng makes you feel llke more of a non-couple... 這樣的感覺真的是太棒了 [15:40.28]...than creatlng another non-couple. 制造出另一對“非情侶” [15:42.52]Unfortunately, our smugness was a llttle premature. 然而我們得意得太早 [15:45.88]-What are you doing this weekend? -Big pIans. 你這個周末要做什么? [15:48.48]I'm gonna go see my granddad in Connecticut. 我要去康乃狄格探望爺爺 [15:52.40]-Connecticut? -What's wrong with Connecticut? 康乃狄格? [15:55.40]-康乃狄格有什么不好? -我討厭鄉(xiāng)下 [15:55.92]I hate the country. I haven't Ieft Manhattan in 10 years. [15:58.32]-我十年沒離開曼哈頓了 -你沾沾自喜? [15:60.80]-And you're proud of that? -Everything you want is right here. [16:03.84]你想要的一切這里都有 [16:04.68]CuIture, food, the Park, cabs at 3:00 a.m. Why Ieave? 文化，美食，公園 半夜三點的計程車，何必離開 [16:11.20]Perhaps to experience a worId outside Manhattan. 去體驗曼哈頓以外的世界? [16:14.48]There is no worId outside Manhattan. 曼哈頓以外沒有世界 [16:16.56]I'd unwlttlngly set Mlranda up on a date wlth Manhattan Guy. 我安排米蘭達(dá)和一個 曼哈頓男人約會 [16:21.08]A genetlcally mutant straln of slngle men that fed on Zabar's... 一個靠午夜場表演長大的 突變種單身漢 [16:24.76]...and mldnlght shows at the Angellca. [16:28.52]No, thanks. [16:29.32]I Iike the city. 我喜歡城市 [16:32.08]I aIso happen to Iike the country. This does not make me a freak. 我也喜歡鄉(xiāng)下 我這樣并不奇怪 [16:38.16]You're obviousIy not from here. 你一定不是這里出身的 [16:44.32]I have to go feed my cat. 我得回家喂貓了 [16:44.60]Mlranda had lnvoked our code phrase. 米蘭達(dá)說了我們的密語 [16:46.60]Honed over years of bad partles, awful dates and unendlng phone calls. 在無數(shù)次糟糕派對 和約會中解救我們 [16:51.40]Unfortunately, I wasn't ready to accept defeat. 但我還不想投降 [16:52.16]-I thought you aIready fed your cat. -I have to feed it again. -你不是喂過貓了? -我得再喂一次 [17:01.20]Cat peopIe are freaks. 養(yǎng)貓的都是怪人 [17:05.20]-Where are you going? -Home. -你要去哪里? -回家 [17:08.00]The man has not Ieft Manhattan in a decade. He's obviousIy a freak. 那個男人十年不曾離開曼哈頓 他是個怪人 [17:09.76]And by the way, if Luke is a freak, Ben is bound to be a freak, too. 要是路克是怪人 班恩一定也是個怪人 [17:15.72]You can teII everything about a person by who their friends are. 你可以從一個人交往的朋友 看出他的個性 [17:18.20]God, I hope not. 天，希望不是這樣 [17:31.20]That nlght, I couldn't get Mlranda's freaky comment out of my head. 那一晚，我不斷地回想 米蘭達(dá)的怪人理論 [17:41.20]那么… [17:44.84]Is there anything weird about you I shouId know... 你有沒有什么 我不知道的怪癖? [17:48.96]...before this gets any more compromising? [17:53.44]Now that you mention it, there is. 你終于問了，在這里 [18:08.12]It's adorabIe. 很可愛 [18:11.72]It's a souvenir from a drunken bacheIor party a few years ago. 單身漢派對酒后的紀(jì)念品 [18:16.56]My friend's marriage didn't Iast, but Tweety Bird did. 我朋友的婚姻沒了 但小鳥卻還在 [18:23.56]So what about you? 你呢?或許你很完美 [18:24.64]-You're probabIy perfect? -No. [18:30.00]Three stitches. 縫過三針 [18:34.16]I got into a fight with a third-grade buIIy. 我跟三年級的惡霸打架 [18:40.80]You're scrappy. 你真愛逞兇斗狠，我喜歡 [18:42.20]I Iike scrappy. [18:47.88]And then The Amazlng Tattooed Man made love to me. 然后這位刺青的男子跟我做愛 [18:51.08]And lt dldn't feel welrd at all. 一點也不奇怪 [18:57.04]Whlle Mlranda was busy feedlng her pussy... 當(dāng)米蘭達(dá)在喂貓的同時 夏綠蒂想盡辦法聊天 [18:57.12]...Charlotte was trylng to do everythlng but. [18:60.20]Did you ever go to summer camp? 你有去過夏令營嗎? [19:03.28]There, over the exotlc-frult plate... 就在異國水果區(qū)旁邊 夏綠蒂試著展開一段關(guān)系 [19:04.56]...Charlotte trled to make a relatlonshlp happen. [19:07.16]I Ioved camp. I went to this pIace in Maine caIIed Minihaha. 我愛露營，曾在緬因州露營 [19:13.60]We used to pIay these big games of coIor war. I was aIways a Red. 我們會玩戰(zhàn)爭游戲 我總是在紅隊，很好玩 [19:18.12]It was so much fun. [19:18.68]And then they made us stop because they said that it gIorified warfare. 后來大人決定不舉行 因為他們覺得這是贊揚戰(zhàn)爭 [19:28.04]You're awfuIIy quiet tonight. What are you thinking about? 你今晚異常安靜 你在想什么? [19:34.80]Charlotte reallzed Mlranda was rlght. She had stayed too long at the falr. 夏綠蒂相信米蘭達(dá)是對的 她在博覽會流連太久了 [19:41.64]From that moment on, Charlotte couldn't be ln the same room wlth a flg. 從此以后 夏綠蒂開始痛恨無花果 [19:45.92]Some people mlght call that a llttle odd. 有些人或許覺得她很奇怪 [19:50.92]Meanwhlle, Samantha was about to get her own speclal showlng. 在此同時，莎曼珊即將重生 [19:53.36]VoiIa. 太完美了，你還可以做什么? [19:55.00]I Iove it! What eIse can you do? [19:56.64]To Samantha, surgery was llke belng at Barneys. 對莎曼珊而言 手術(shù)就像逛百貨公司 [19:60.04]Once you're ln the door, you mlght as well shop. 既然來了，就順便逛逛 [20:03.80]We can aIways Iift a IittIe here. Take care of these Iines. 我們可以把這里抬高一點 [20:04.92]雕塑出這些線條 [20:09.60]Here.... [20:10.60]In five years we can augment the breasts. 五年后，可以隆乳 [20:14.56]Pick them up a IittIe. In 10 years, tummy tuck. 把它們抬高一點 十年后，可以做肚子 [20:19.100]Lipo. 還有嘴唇 [20:22.08]The hip and the thigh area. 臀部跟大腿這邊 [20:29.28]Doctor, you're needed on the phone. 醫(yī)生，有你的電話 [20:31.96]Knee Iift. 提高膝蓋 [20:47.48]Samantha felt llke she had walked lnto a fun house. 莎曼珊覺得自己站在哈哈鏡前 [20:48.04]Only lt wasn't partlcularly funny. 只是一點都不好笑 [21:09.64]I'm Iate for my soccer game. Stay here. I'II be back in two hours. 我足球賽要遲到了 [21:13.92]不要走，我兩個小時后回來 [21:20.20]It had happened. We had done lt and now I really llked hlm. 就這樣發(fā)生了 我們做愛，我很喜歡他 [21:25.76]I was deep lnto the sex haze and completely freaked out. 我深深地被性愛迷惑 完全失控 [21:28.72]There had to be somethlng slck and off about hlm. 他一定有什么病態(tài)之處 [21:31.88]If the rest of the specles had devolved, Ben would have to be a freak to survlve. 要是男人這個物種退化了 班恩一定是存活下來的怪人 [21:37.64]I had to flnd out what was wrong before I wasted the next slx months. 我得在浪費青春之前 找出哪里有問題 [21:40.24]It started lnnocently enough. 一開始還算正常 我想知道他吃什么 [21:42.00]I just wanted to see what the guy ate... [21:45.80]...llstened to... 聽什么… [21:49.28]...dated. 跟誰約會 然后就一發(fā)不可收拾 [21:50.60]Then lt took on a llfe of lts own. [21:52.88]Somewhere ln thls hlp, normal-looklng apartment... 在這棟公寓的某處 一定有著班恩怪異的線索 [21:54.04]...was the clue to Ben's lnner freaklness. [21:57.36]And I wasn't gonna rest untll I found lt. 我不找到不罷休 [22:17.20]There lt was, tauntlng me. Ben's secret box of freakdom. 它就躺在那里，取笑我 班恩的秘密怪異盒 [22:21.00]Home of llllclt photos, love letters, maybe an old marrlage llcense. 里面藏著不正當(dāng)?shù)恼掌?，情?或是他以前的結(jié)婚證書 [22:45.56]What the heII are you doing? 你在做什么? [22:49.32]I don't know. 我不知道，我無法解釋 [22:51.92]I can't expIain it. [22:56.52]I guess I was Iooking for something. 我想…我在找某樣?xùn)|西 [23:01.48]Something? 某樣?xùn)|西? [23:03.32]Something freaky. 某樣怪異的東西 [23:22.52]It's my Cub Scout badge coIIection. 是我的童子軍徽章收藏盒 [23:30.20]I was gonna skip the game to be with you. 我取消比賽來陪你 [23:32.64]I thought you were actuaIIy a normaI one. -我以為你很正常 -曾經(jīng)是 [23:35.08]I was. [23:41.92]I'm gonna go. -我要走了 -好提議 [23:43.100]Good idea. [23:57.20]That was the day I came face to face wlth my freak. 就在那天 我遇見了奇怪的自己 [23:60.12]The frlghtenlng woman whose fear ate her sanlty. 一個理智被恐懼吃掉的瘋女人 [24:06.28]The truth ls, lt lsn't just the men. It's all of us. 不只是男人，而是每一個人 [24:11.32]Anyone who's slngle ln Manhattan gets a llttle freaked out from tlme to tlme. 每一個曼哈頓的未婚男女 有時會做出怪異的舉動 [24:16.40]But we keep trylng, because you have to flgure... 但是我們?nèi)圆环艞? [24:20.36]...lf the world's fattest twlns can flnd love, there's hope for all of us. 最胖的雙胞胎可以找到真愛 我們也可以 [24:24.76]Somewhere out there ls another llttle freak who wlll love us, understand us... 在某處總有另一個小怪人 [24:26.24]會愛我們，了解我們 [24:31.32]...and klss our three heads and make lt all better. 親吻我們的三個怪頭 安慰我們 [24:32.80]And ln the meantlme, we always have Manhattan. 同時，我們永遠(yuǎn)擁有曼哈頓

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