暮光之城?暮色 第38期:第四章 邀請(2)
我很想跟他談?wù)劊沂鹿拾l(fā)生的當(dāng)天我就試過了。我最后一次見到他的時候，在急救室的外面，我倆都是那樣的憤怒。即使我一直說到做到，無可挑剔，可他還是不信任我，不告訴我真相，這一點我依然很生氣。不過他確實救過我一條命，無論他是怎樣救的。一夜過后，我的火氣消了不說，還生出了肅然的感激之情。
He was already seated when I got to Biology, looking straight ahead. I sat down, expecting him to turn toward me. He showed no sign that he realized I was there.
我去上生物學(xué)的時候，他已經(jīng)坐在座位上了，眼睛盯著正前方。我坐下了，希望他會轉(zhuǎn)過來臉來，可他絲毫沒有流露出知道我在旁邊的表情。
"Hello, Edward," I said pleasantly, to show him I was going to behave myself.
"喂，愛德華，"我和顏悅色地叫了他一聲，想讓他知道我心平氣和了。
He turned his head a fraction toward me without meeting my gaze, nodded once, and then looked the other way.
他的臉往我這邊扭了一丁點兒，沒有和我的目光相遇，點了一下頭，然后又望到一邊去了。
And that was the last contact I'd had with him, though he was there, a foot away from me, every day. I watched him sometimes, unable to stop myself— from a distance, though, in the cafeteria or parking lot. I watched as his golden eyes grew perceptibly darker day by day. But in class I gave no more notice that he existed than he showed toward me. I was miserable. And the dreams continued.
那便是我跟他的最后一次接觸，雖然他每天都坐在我旁邊，距我僅咫尺之遙。不過，有時在自助餐廳或停車場，我還是會情不自禁地從遠處注視他。我注意到他金色的雙眸明顯地一天比一天暗了。但上課的時候，我也不太注意他的存在，他注意我多少，我就注意他多少，決不比他多。我真是可憐。而夢仍在繼續(xù)。
Despite my outright lies, the tenor of my e-mails alerted Renée to my depression, and she called a few times, worried. I tried to convince her it was just the weather that had me down.
雖然我在電子郵件中寫的全是徹頭徹尾的謊話，但蕾妮還是從中隱約覺察出了我的消沉，她還來過幾次電話，很是擔(dān)心。我想了很多辦法，力圖讓她相信我情緒低落，純粹是天氣造成的。
Mike, at least, was pleased by the obvious coolness between me and my lab partner. I could see he'd been worried that Edward's daring rescue might have impressed me, and he was relieved that it seemed to have the opposite effect. He grew more confident, sitting on the edge of my table to talk before Biology class started, ignoring Edward as completely as he ignored us.
我和實驗搭檔之間明顯的冷淡，至少令邁克很高興。我看得出他一直擔(dān)心愛德華的英勇相救可能會感動我，而現(xiàn)在他放心了，結(jié)果似乎適得其反。他越來越自信了，生物學(xué)上課之前總要坐在我桌子邊上聊，根本就不把愛德華放在眼里，就像他根本不把我們放在眼里一樣。
The snow washed away for good after that one dangerously icy day. Mike wasdisappointed he'd never gotten to stage his snowball fight, but pleased that the beach trip would soon be possible. The rain continued heavily, though, and the weeks passed.
自那個危險的冰天之后，雪徹底給沖沒了。邁克很失望沒能組織起他的那場雪仗，但他還是很高興，因為很快就可以去海灘旅游了。不過雨依然很大，幾周就這樣過去了。
Jessica made me aware of another event looming on the horizon — she called the first Tuesday of March to ask my permission to invite Mike to the girls' choice spring dance in two weeks.
杰西卡讓我了解到了另一個即將到來的活動——她在三月的第一個星期四打了個電話給我，請我允許她邀請邁克參加兩周后的女生擇伴春季舞會 。
"Are you sure you don't mind… you weren't planning to ask him?" she persisted when I told her I didn't mind in the least.
"你肯定你不會介意嗎……你不打算邀請他?"我告訴她我一點兒都不介意后，她追問了一句。
"No, Jess, I'm not going," I assured her. Dancing was glaringly outside my range of abilities.
"不打算，杰西，我不準(zhǔn)備參加舞會，"我給她吃了一顆定心丸。我最不擅長的就是跳舞了。
"It will be really fun." Her attempt to convince me was halfhearted. I suspected that Jessica enjoyed my inexplicable popularity more than my actual company.
"真的會很好玩兒的。"她半心半意地勸我。我懷疑杰西卡喜歡跟我在一起，更多的是喜歡我那莫名其妙的人氣，而不是喜歡我這個人。
"You have fun with Mike," I encouraged.
"你跟邁克去好好玩兒吧，"我鼓勵道。
The next day, I was surprised that Jessica wasn't her usual gushing self in Trig and Spanish. She was silent as she walked by my side between classes, and I was afraid to ask her why. If Mike had turned her down, I was the last person she would want to tell.
第二天，我驚訝地發(fā)現(xiàn)杰西卡上三角和西班牙語課時不像平時那樣滔滔不絕了。她課間走在我旁邊的時候一聲沒吭，我也沒敢問她原因。要是邁克拒絕了她，她告訴誰也不會告訴我的。
My fears were strengthened during lunch when Jessica sat as far from Mike as possible, chatting animatedly with Eric. Mike was unusually quiet.
我的擔(dān)心進一步加劇了，因為吃午飯的時候，杰西卡盡可能地坐得離邁克遠遠的，跟埃里克聊得起勁得很。邁克非同尋常的安靜。
Mike was still quiet as he walked me to class, the uncomfortable look on his face a bad sign. But he didn't broach the subject until I was in my seat and he was perched on my desk. As always, I was electrically aware of Edward sitting close enough to touch, as distant as if he were merely an invention of my imagination.
跟我一起去上課的路上，邁克依舊沉默寡言，他臉上不自在的表情可不是個好兆頭。不過，直到我坐在了座位上，他坐在我的課桌上之前，他都只字未提那件事情。同往常一樣，就像通了電似的，我知道愛德華就坐在伸手可及的地方，卻又遠得好像他只不過是我想象出來的一個人而已。
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