如同例行公事一樣,我第一眼便向卡倫家的桌子看去。當(dāng)我意識(shí)到它是空的時(shí),一陣恐懼的顫抖在我的胃里翻騰著。帶著越來(lái)越渺茫的希望,我的眼睛搜索著自助餐廳的余下部分,希望能看見他獨(dú)自坐著,等著我。到處都坐滿了人——西班牙語(yǔ)課讓我們來(lái)晚了——卻沒(méi)有任何愛(ài)德華或者他的某個(gè)家人的影子。一種無(wú)力的荒涼感襲擊了我。
I shambled along behind Jessica, not bothering to pretend to listen anymore.
我蹣跚著走在杰西卡后面,不再費(fèi)神假裝在聽她說(shuō)話了。
We were late enough that everyone was already at our table. I avoided the empty chair next to Mike in favor of one by Angela. I vaguely noticed that Mike held the chair out politely for Jessica, and that her face lit up in response.
我們來(lái)得太晚了,我們桌子上的人幾乎都到齊了。我避開邁克旁邊的那張空椅子,更青睞安吉拉旁邊那張。我隱約留意到邁克彬彬有禮地為杰西卡拉開椅子,她的臉立刻容光煥發(fā)。
Angela asked a few quiet questions about the Macbeth paper, which I answered as naturally as I could while spiraling downward in misery. She, too, invited me to go with them tonight, and I agreed now, grasping at anything to distract myself.
安吉拉安靜地問(wèn)了幾個(gè)關(guān)于那篇《麥克白》的論文的問(wèn)題,我盡可能答得正常些,盡管此時(shí)我正盤旋著落入絕望的深淵。她也邀請(qǐng)我今晚和她們一起去,而我立刻答應(yīng)了,想要抓住任何能讓我分心的事。
I realized I'd been holding on to a last shred of hope when I entered Biology, saw his empty seat, and felt a new wave of disappointment.
當(dāng)我走進(jìn)生物教室的時(shí)候,我意識(shí)到自己懷著最后一線希望。但在看到他空空的座位以后,新一輪的失望向我涌來(lái)。
The rest of the day passed slowly, dismally. In Gym, we had a lecture on the rules of badminton, the next torture they had lined up for me. But at least it meant I got to sit and listen instead of stumbling around on the court. The best part was the coach didn't finish, so I got another day off tomorrow. Never mind that the day after they would arm me with a racket before unleashing me on the rest of the class.
這一天剩下的時(shí)間過(guò)得漫長(zhǎng)又沉默。體育課上,我們要聽羽毛球的規(guī)則講演,這是排著隊(duì)等著我的又一次煎熬。但至少,這意味著我可以坐下來(lái)聽課,而不是在庭院里到處被絆到。最好的部分是教練沒(méi)能講完,所以明天我又將逃過(guò)一劫。在我從余下的課里解放出來(lái)以前,我根本不去在乎后天他們就要讓我拿上球拍了。