我向桌子傾下身去,把下顎放在交疊的小臂上,我隱藏起來的手指緊緊地抓住桌子的邊緣。我掙扎著不去理會那股試圖讓我動搖的不合情理的渴望。我不敢看他,生怕他也在看著我,這只會讓自我控制變得更難些。我由衷地想要看這部電影,但直到這堂課結(jié)束我還是不知道我剛剛看的是什么內(nèi)容。當(dāng)班納老師把燈打開的時候,我寬慰地嘆了口氣,終于看了一眼愛德華。他正看著我,眼里寫滿了矛盾。
He rose in silence and then stood still, waiting for me. We walked toward the gym in silence, likeyesterday. And, also like yesterday, he touched my face wordlessly — this time with the back ofhis cool hand, stroking once from my temple to my jaw — before he turned and walked away.
他默默地站起身,一動不動地站在那里,等著我。我們沉默著向體育館走去,和昨天完全一樣。然后,還是和昨天一樣,他無言地輕撫我的臉龐——這次是用他冰冷的手背,從我的一側(cè)眉毛一直撫摸到我的下頜——在他轉(zhuǎn)身走開以前。
Gym passed quickly as I watched Mike's one-man badminton show. He didn't speak to metoday, either in response to my vacant expression or because he was still angry about oursquabble yesterday. Somewhere, in a corner of my mind, I felt bad about that. But I couldn'tconcentrate on him.
體育課在我觀看邁克的羽毛球個人秀中很快就過去了。他今天沒有跟我說話,也沒有對我空白的表情作出任何反應(yīng),也許他還在為我們昨天的口角生著悶氣。在我心底一角的某處,我對此感覺很糟。但我沒法把注意力集中在他身上。
I hurried to change afterward, ill at ease, knowing the faster I moved, the sooner I would bewith Edward. The pressure made me more clumsy than usual, but eventually I made it out thedoor, feeling the same release when I saw him standing there, a wide smile automaticallyspreading across my face. He smiled in reaction before launching into more cross-examination.
之后,我不安地趕去換衣服,知道我的動作越快,我就能越早和愛德華待在一起。這種壓迫感使得我比平時還有笨手笨腳,但最終我沖出門口,和上次一樣寬慰地看到他站在那里,一個大大的笑容下意識地浮現(xiàn)在我臉上。作為回應(yīng),他微笑起來,然后開始新一輪狂熱的交互訊問。