暮光之城?暮色 第218期:第十三章 自白(13)

[00:00:29]But I resisted. I don't know how. I forced myself not to wait for you, not to follow you from the school. “但我抵抗住了。我不知道自己是怎么做到的。我強(qiáng)迫自己不要停下來等你，不要跟著你離開學(xué)校。 [00:10:14]It was easier outside, when I couldn't smell you anymore, to think clearly, to make the right decision. 在外頭，當(dāng)我再也聞不到你的時(shí)候，我可以更容易地思考，更容易地作出正確的選擇。 [00:16:09]I left the others near home — I was too ashamed to tell them how weak I was, they only knew something was very wrong 快到家的時(shí)候，我讓別的人下了車——我太羞愧了，不敢告訴他們我的意志是那么的薄弱。他們只知道出了非常嚴(yán)重的狀況 [00:26:33]and then I went straight to Carlisle, at the hospital, to tell him I was leaving. 然后我直奔醫(yī)院找卡萊爾，告訴他我要離開?！? [00:34:57]I stared in surprise. 我震驚地看著他 。 [00:35:56]I traded cars with him — he had a full tank of gas and I didn't want to stop. “我和他交換了車子——他的車子有滿滿一箱油，而我不想停下來。 [00:38:48]I didn't dare to go home, to face Esme. She wouldn't have let me go without a scene. 我不敢回家，不敢面對艾思梅。如果我去見她，她一定不會讓我走的。 [00:44:42]She would have tried to convince me that it wasn't necessary… 她會竭力說服我這毫無必要……” [00:47:33]By the next morning I was in Alaska. He sounded ashamed, as if admitting a great cowardice. “第二天早上我到了阿拉斯加。”他聽起來很羞愧，就好像在承認(rèn)自己是多么的怯懦一樣。 [00:56:44]I spent two days there, with some old acquaintances… but I was homesick. “我在那里待了兩天，和一些老相識在一起……但我很想家。 [01:02:32]I hated knowing I'd upset Esme, and the rest of them, my adopted family. 我討厭想到，我讓艾思梅傷心了，還有余下的幾個(gè)，我不是親人勝似親人的家人。 [01:08:16]In the pure air of the mountains it was hard to believe you were so irresistible. 在高山上純凈的空氣里，很難想象你的味道是那么的不可抗拒。 [01:13:48]I convinced myself it was weak to run away. I'd dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude, not even close, 我說服自己，逃跑是一種示弱的行為。在此之前我能很好地抵抗誘或，雖然它們都沒有這樣強(qiáng)烈，甚至沒有這樣接近， [01:22:05]but I was strong. Who were you, an insignificant little girl — he grinned suddenly 但我很堅(jiān)強(qiáng)。而你，一個(gè)不起眼的小女孩”——他忽然咧嘴一笑 [01:28:19]to chase me from the place I wanted to be? So I came back… He stared off into space. “能把我從我想去的地方趕走?所以我回來了……”他看向空中。

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