離婚者的教訓(xùn)：婚姻中最后悔的15件事(雙語(yǔ))

1. "We stopped putting the other first; stopped nurturing the relationship, dating. Simple everyday things like kissing, holding hands, hugging in public or private waned; growing in separate directions and/or not growing at all."
1.“我們不再把對(duì)方放在第一位;不再培養(yǎng)感情，不再約會(huì)。連簡(jiǎn)單的日常情感交流如接吻、牽手、擁抱等都很吝嗇，不再在公共場(chǎng)合秀恩愛(ài)，甚至私底下也是;兩個(gè)人在成長(zhǎng)中逐漸偏離了對(duì)方，或者都沒(méi)有一點(diǎn)兒長(zhǎng)進(jìn)。”

2. "Not giving him the respect and admiration he was looking for. He left me for a woman who needed rescuing and treated him like he was her knight in shining armor."
2.“他想要的尊重和贊美，我都沒(méi)有給。最后他為了別的女人離開(kāi)了我。那個(gè)女人楚楚可憐，簡(jiǎn)直就把他看作身披戰(zhàn)甲去拯救她的騎士。”

3. "Getting married to a person who did not share my religion, lifestyle, diet -- especially diet. If you can't eat the same things it is a sign you two do not have enough in common. I know diet sounds trivial, but when you think about it, trying to cook food for someone that you yourself just could not eat gets tiring. So you stop. Men have a thing about women cooking for them. I hear a lot of complaints that wives don't cook any more. With me, I just got tired of cooking food that I would never eat. So I stopped. He took it personally. Just too many differences."
3.“我和一個(gè)跟我在宗教信仰、生活方式、飲食習(xí)慣(尤其是這點(diǎn))都格格不入的人結(jié)了婚。如果連吃什么都合不來(lái)，這意味著你們根本就是兩個(gè)世界的人。我知道這聽(tīng)上去只是雞毛蒜皮之事，但想一想你要為一個(gè)人做你自己根本難以下咽的食物，這未免太過(guò)勉強(qiáng)了。所以你放手了。男人都特別喜歡讓妻子主廚。我聽(tīng)過(guò)好多男人抱怨妻子不做飯之類的。但就我個(gè)人而言，我只是討厭做我自己都不想吃的食物。因此我決定結(jié)束這種生活。他覺(jué)得我是針對(duì)他，但其實(shí)只是因?yàn)槲覀儾顒e太大了。”

4. "Thinking he was going to change. Trying to change them to be something they were never going to be."
4.“幻想他會(huì)改變。天真地想去改變一些不可能改變的東西。”

5. "In my first marriage it was believing I could help him and the expectation we would live happy ever after. Nope. In the second, I'm learning it's not 50/50. If you both don't give your all it will never work."

5.“第一次婚姻我相信我可以成為他的賢內(nèi)助，我們也可以一直幸福地生活下去。結(jié)果事實(shí)不是這樣。第二次我就學(xué)乖了?；橐霾皇莾蓚€(gè)人各付出一半，一旦任意一方有所保留，這段感情都維持不下去。”

6. "Taking childhood baggage into marriage! It takes work on both sides to make a great marriage! I wish parents knew how their abuse and neglect are setting the stage for future relationships so negatively."
6.“將童年的陰影帶進(jìn)婚姻!只有雙方共同經(jīng)營(yíng)的婚姻才會(huì)幸福!我希望父母能夠清楚地知道，他們相互的辱罵與冷漠會(huì)對(duì)自己孩子未來(lái)的婚姻生活造成多么大的負(fù)面影響。”

7. "I married someone for stability, promises, dreams, comfort, consistency and protection. Reality was not a concern. It should have been. I depended on and expected too much from him and that was my mistake. Now that I have raised children, I know what unconditional love is and discovered that it was what I was missing in the marriage."
7.“當(dāng)初結(jié)婚是為了尋求穩(wěn)定、承諾、夢(mèng)想、安逸和庇護(hù)、志同道合。當(dāng)時(shí)并沒(méi)有考慮過(guò)現(xiàn)實(shí)問(wèn)題，而這其實(shí)是很必要的。我過(guò)分地依賴他，對(duì)他的期望也太高，這是我的問(wèn)題。如今我已為人母，明白了什么是無(wú)條件的愛(ài)，才發(fā)覺(jué)我當(dāng)初的婚姻正是缺少這個(gè)東西。”

8. "Poor communication. Making assumptions. Not being clear and direct."
8.“缺乏溝通。總是猜疑。從不直截了當(dāng)?shù)亟涣鳌?rdquo;

9. "Biggest mistake was turning a blind eye to all his affairs and getting married so young!!"
9.“我最錯(cuò)的就是對(duì)他的風(fēng)流韻事視而不見(jiàn)，年紀(jì)輕輕就嫁給了他!”

10. "Taking on the 'relationship responsibility' myself as if I could resolve the issues with love and communication. I didn't stand a chance. And so ... 29 years married to my high school sweetheart went up in a funeral pile."

10.“一力承擔(dān)起‘婚姻的責(zé)任，就好像我一個(gè)人靠愛(ài)和溝通就能解決掉所有的問(wèn)題一樣。事實(shí)上這完全不可能。因此……在結(jié)婚29年后，我和我高中心上人的關(guān)系還是走到了盡頭。”

11. "My issue was the fact that I stopped expressing myself in a way that was true to me when the relationship took off ... I would walk around on eggshells in front of my partner, for fear of being displeasing, and I gave up my hobbies and interests, too."
11.“我的問(wèn)題是，我不再像剛戀愛(ài)時(shí)那樣坦誠(chéng)……在我另一半面前，我分外小心謹(jǐn)慎，生怕惹他(她)不高興，而且我還放棄了我的興趣愛(ài)好。”

12. "My biggest mistake was letting myself be treated like a non-person ... no opinions, no choices, no voice."
12.“我犯的最大的錯(cuò)誤就是允許自己被非人地對(duì)待……不能有意見(jiàn)，凡事沒(méi)得選，沒(méi)有話語(yǔ)權(quán)。”

13. "I think little things add up over the years and if you don't deal with issues when they come up, lots of people gradually grow apart over time and both parties often take each other for granted."
13.“我覺(jué)得冰凍三尺非一日之寒。如果你不在問(wèn)題出現(xiàn)時(shí)就解決它，那么夫妻二人只會(huì)漸行漸遠(yuǎn)，并且都不把對(duì)方當(dāng)回事。”

14. "Biggest mistake: I took her for granted."
14.“我最大的錯(cuò)誤是：不把她當(dāng)回事。”

15. "Going into marriage based on shared interests and other 'surface' types of similarities/likes and not considering deeper connections, like faith, morals, values, communication styles, and shared goals."

15.“因共同的興趣以及其它一些‘表面的’相似點(diǎn)/喜好走進(jìn)婚姻，而沒(méi)有考慮到一些更深層次的東西如信仰、道德觀、價(jià)值觀、溝通風(fēng)格及共同的目標(biāo)等。”