Don't make money a top priority. People who say money is one of their most important goals score lower for mental health, according to a variety of studies conducted over the past decade by Dr. Tim Kasser, associate psychology professor at Knox College, and Dr. Richard Ryan, psychology professor at the University of Rochester. Money-seekers suffer a greater risk of depression; have more anxiety and lower self-esteem; experience more physical, behavioral and relationship problems; and score lower on indicators testing for vitality (feeling alive and vigorousl and self-actualization. The problems were not caused by being affluent but by making money a primary goal in life.
不要把錢當做頭等重要的事情。根據(jù)諾克斯大學心理學副教授提姆·卡塞博士和羅切斯特大學心理學教授理查德·賴安博士在過去十幾年來的研究結(jié)果顯示,那些把錢當做重要目標之一的人在心理健康方面的得分是較低的。這些人一般更容易情緒消沉,常常焦慮,只有少得可憐的自尊,并會導致身體、行為舉止和人際關(guān)系方面的諸多問題。他們在生命力(感覺活潑和精力旺盛)和自我完善的測試中,往往也得分較低。以上種種問題并不是因為富裕本身引起的,而是由于這些人把金錢當做了人生的首要目標。
知道怎樣談?wù)摻疱X。密歇根的霍普學院的教授作家大衛(wèi)說,我們向自己說明一件事情的方式對我們的幸福有很大的影響。“我買不起”換一句話可說成“我想把錢花在其他東西上。”把自己想象成一個有能力按照自己的價值觀和偏好做出明智選擇的人,而不是那個不能左右生活的自怨自艾的可憐蟲。
Focus on essential psychological needs. Money scored last on the list of psychological needs that create happiness and fulfillment, according to a study by Kennon Sheldon, psychologist at the University of Missouri——Columbia. What are the four most essential needs? Autonomy-feeling your actions are self-chosen and setf-endorsed, competence-feeling effective in what you do; self-esteem; and a sense of closeness with others. The University of Chicago's National Opinion: Research Center found that people with five or more close friends are 50 percent more likely to describe themselves as "very happy" than respondents with fewer friends.
注重必要的心理需求。據(jù)密蘇里州哥倫比亞大學的心理學者肯尼·謝爾登的研究顯示,在那些能夠創(chuàng)造幸福和成就感的心理需求列表中,金錢排在最后一位。最為必要的4個需求是什么?自治一一感覺你的行動都是自己選擇和自己認可的;能力——感覺自己所做得是有意義的;自尊;與他人親密的感覺。芝加哥大學全國意見研究中心發(fā)現(xiàn),那些擁有 5個或者更多親密朋友的人比起那些朋友較少的人,在把自己描述為“非??鞓?rdquo;的幾率要高出50%。
Help others. Professor Lyubomirsky has done studies in which students Were asked to practice altruism, doing five acts of kindness a week for six weeks. The participants reported a significant rise in happiness. Kind acts, she says, not only make you feel better about yourself, but foster a sense of interdependence and cooperation.
幫助他人。柳博米爾斯基教授曾做過這樣的研究,讓他的學生去練習幫助他人,在一周內(nèi)做5件善事,連續(xù)做6周。這些參與者報告說他們的幸福感顯著提高了。她說,友善的行為不僅僅讓你自我感覺更好,并且培養(yǎng)了互相幫助、合作的意識。