What Are You Doing That Bugs People?
做哪些事會招人煩?
What is the number one thing people do that bugs you? Think about it for a moment. Do you have something in mind?
別人做什么最招你煩?花點時間想想看。想出來了嗎?
How do you feel about people who do that? Do you want to shake your head in disgust? Do you want to roll your eyes? Do you want to bite your tongue as you resist saying something? Do you want to blow your horn? How does this affect your impression of them?
你對那樣做的人怎么看?是不是想搖頭表示鄙視?是不是懶得看?你對他們很無語?你也想大放厥詞?這如何影響到你對他的印象?
Not surprisingly, people who lie, are intentionally deceitful, or flaunt arrogance were hot buttons for many who commented. The most common theme that emerged had to with inconsiderate people. Some of the inconsiderate things listed included people who:
毫不奇怪的是,那些說謊的人都是有意欺騙別人,而那些傲慢地自吹自擂的人都是許多人喜歡討論的熱點話題。他們最多的觀點是這些人不會體諒人。下面列舉了一些不顧別人的行為:
Don’t use their turn signals
Drive too close to the car in front of them
Flick their cigarette butts out the window
Don’t hold the door open
Don’t respond to emails, texts, and calls
Interrupt while someone is talking
Scan their phone or computer for messages during a conversation
Leave their shopping cart in the parking lot rather than returning it
Are late for calls and appointments
Eat or chew gum with their mouth open
The number and nature of these responses prompted today’s lesson that deals with what happens when we encounter someone who does the very thing that bugs us.
不打轉(zhuǎn)向燈;與前面的車距太短;往車窗外扔煙頭;過去后就關門;不回郵件,短信和電話;打斷別人說話;交談中查手機短信或郵件;把購物車留在停車場而不歸還超市;遲遲不回電話或約會遲到;張開嘴吃東西或嚼口香糖。鑒于回應這些做法的人數(shù)和方法,我們這節(jié)課就來談談當我們遇到那些做事很招人煩的人時,如何處理這種情況。
Even more importantly, what happens when we’re the ones who are bugging people? How does it affect their view of us?
更重要的是,如果別人覺得我們很煩又會怎樣呢?這對他們對我們的看法有什么影響?
Why You Should Care
為什么要在乎這個?
In the context of personal and professional development, you need to know one of the worst things you can do is something that annoys or bugs another person.
在人際關系和職業(yè)發(fā)展環(huán)境中,你要知道,你做的最不好的事就是去煩擾別人。
Upon reading this, you may feel one of two ways,
通過這篇文章,你可能會體會到一下兩種方式之一:
Why should I care if I’m bugging anybody? I can’t please everybody!
What do I do that bugs people and how does this affect their view of me?
You might have guessed by now that I believe you should care. Here’s why:
我為什么要在乎我是否在打擾別人?我又不能取悅所有人!我做的哪些事會影響別人?別人又會怎么看我呢?我想你現(xiàn)在應該已經(jīng)猜到了我會說你要在乎,原因如下:
When you have a habit that bothers other people and do nothing about it, you brand yourself as someone who is inconsiderate. Do inconsiderate people win friends, influence people, or get promotions?
Most people don’t even realize that what they’re doing may be bugging others. Quite plainly, this creates a big ugly pimple on their reputation!
Finally, a carefree attitude of “It’s a free country. So what if you don’t like it?” will cause you to end up unloved, unappreciated, unpopular, and unhappy. Remember, it’s a small world.
如果你有煩擾別人的習慣,并且還不愿改,那你在別人眼中就是一個自私自利的人。這樣的人能有朋友,能有影響力或者能得到提升嗎?大多數(shù)人甚至都沒意識到他們的所作所為正在煩擾別人。這是很淺顯易懂的,這樣的人肯定不會得到什么好評!最后,那些懷有“這是個自由的國度,你不喜歡又怎樣?”這種不負責任的態(tài)度的人是不會招人喜歡、欣賞、歡迎的,也不會幸福的。記住,這個世界很小。
Are You Ready to Learn About Yourself?
準備好了解自己了嗎?
The first step toward ridding yourself of habits that others may find distasteful or offensive and preserving your reputation is to learn what you may be doing that bugs other people. The easiest way to do this is to simply ask. It may be awkward or even slightly embarrassing, but it won’t kill you.
想要擺脫那些讓人不快的冒犯性習慣并贏得好評,第一步就是要知道你的所作所為會不會影響別人。最簡單的方法就是去問別人,這可能有點奇怪甚至會有些尷尬,但還不足以要你的命。
Start with your spouse, your children, or another family member. Ask them for their honesty. And when they do offer to tell you, don’t get defensive. When you’re ready, ask a trusted colleague, supervisor, or someone who reports to you. It takes courage, but I guarantee they’ll respect you for asking, especially when they see you making an effort to change.
就從你的配偶,子女或其他家庭成員開始吧,讓他們實話實說。當他們準備好對你說大實話的時候,你就不要再把自己“保護”起來了。當你準備好了,就問一個可靠的同事,上司或下屬。這是要勇氣的,但我相信他們會尊重你的問話,尤其是當他們看到你在努力改變自己的時候。
If you just can’t bring yourself to ask anyone outright, here are ways to figure it out yourself.
如果你完全不敢問別人,下面這些方法可以讓你自助。
Make a conscious effort to watch how others are viewing your actions and reactions.
Notice when others seem to be turned off by something you say or do.
Take time to think about what you can start doing to be more considerate of others.
Today, rather than post what bugs you, I’m asking you to leave a comment about a habit of yours that you want to seriously eliminate. Simple answer this question.
自覺努力地看別人是如何看待你的行動并作出了怎樣的反應。留意一下別人是否因為你的所說所為而退避三舍?;c時間想想你能做些什么來更好地為別人著想。今天,我要你留下你最想擺脫的壞習慣而不是那些煩擾你的事。簡單回答這個問題。