他其實(shí)沒那么喜歡你 第81期:真得值得等待嗎?

Here's Why This One is Hard, by Liz

這就是此事如此艱難的原因——利茲

Because it's you—not someone you read about orheard about or saw on TV. It's you and it's hard.

因?yàn)楫?dāng)事人是你——不是什么你在書上看到的，不是聽人說的，也不是在電視上看到的。是你自己身上發(fā)生的事，因而如此艱難。

And you deserve happiness just like his wife or hisgirlfriend does.

你和他妻子或者女朋友一樣值得幸福。

And sometimes people get married before they've actually met the person they're meant to bewith.

有時(shí)候人們在遇見命定之人之前就結(jié)婚了。

Or marriages just die and there's nothing left to them.

或者婚姻就是破滅了，什么都沒留下。

And if they're not married, but somehow deeply distracted by someone else, well, most men areusually coming out of some situation while they get into the next one...so why not hang on fordear life until he shakes off his ex?

如果他們未婚，但是不知為何被其他人吸引了，大多數(shù)男人在碰見另一個(gè)人的時(shí)候可以走出此種處境……為什么不著手于自己的生活，直到他擺脫前任呢?

The operative word in both cases here is "wait."

兩種情況下的有效詞都是“等待”。

You have to do the waiting—the biding your time, biting your tongue, keeping your needsquiet.

你必須等待——投入你的時(shí)間，閉緊你的嘴巴，舍棄你的需求。

He's so special, that guy.

那個(gè)男人是如此特別。

He deserves to have you sit around, putting your life on hold, not getting what you want, whilehe takes his time sorting it all out.

他值得你在他理清所有事情期間無所事事，擱置你的人生，得不到你所想要的。

He's that special. You, of course, aren't at all.

他是如此特別。而你顯然并不是。

Now, I happen to be really good at biding my time and asking for little and being happy withthe even less that I get.

現(xiàn)在，我正好如此善于打發(fā)時(shí)間，要求甚少，得到的比期望要少還是很開心。

I haven't personally dated a married man, but I am an expert in dating emotionallyunavailable ones.

我個(gè)人從未跟已婚男人約會過，但是在和情感上不可得的人約會上，我可是個(gè)專家。

I have to be honest—it feels really noble and romantic and dramatic to be filled with longingand heartache, knowing the man you love, for whatever reason, can't be yours right now.

說實(shí)話——得知自己所愛之人，不管出于何種緣由，目前無法成為自己的，讓人感覺到了充滿了渴望和心痛的高尚、浪漫以及戲劇感。

And you're willing to wait for him, because your feelings for him are so very large andprofound.

然而你愿意等他，因?yàn)槟銓λ膼蹜偈侨绱藦?qiáng)烈和深刻。

Of course, I am now suspicious that my feelings for them all felt so large and profoundprecisely because they couldn't be mine, but I wouldn't be able to prove that in court.

當(dāng)然了，我現(xiàn)在開始懷疑自己對他們的感情是否都是如此強(qiáng)烈而又深刻，因?yàn)樗麄儾豢赡軐儆谖?，但是我又無法公之于眾。

If you're really comfortable with that, too, and nothing that this audio book or your friends oryour therapist can say will help you change that, then eventually, I hope, like me, you'lleventually just get tired of it.

如果你真的可以接受，那這本有聲書書、你的朋友或者你的心理治療師都無法幫你改變什么，最終，我希望你能像我一樣對此厭倦。